there mother left 3 mounths ago with a man that said he has lots of money.she hasnt spoken to them and they ask me why she left and if she loves the . i dont know what to say hopping for some ideas
2006-10-12 17:19:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no ez answer for this . . . .but your asking this question, is a really good thing!!!!! Put your head down, and answer from your heart . . . this is gonna be rough, anyway you look at it . . .in stiuations like this, I don't think you can do anything wrong, as long as you do something. . . .your kids are gonna notice, your effort, concern, and how much YOU care for them, more than your actual answers . . .Only their mom can answer these questions, and they know that at some level . . . . Good Luck!
2006-10-12 18:46:49 · answer #1 · answered by backroads 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children at that age aren't stupid. They mainly need reassurance that it wasn't anything they did to cause her to leave. Tell them that their mom loves them. When they get older they will discover for themselves the truth but there isn't any reason why they shouldn't believe she doesn't. They already feel her loss and that is enough pain for anyone their age to deal with. Just tell them that their mom stopped loving you (the dad) and that you wished that it wasn't so but that you did all you could but she just didn't want to stay. If you know where she is , find a way to contact her without the children knowing and tell her that the least she could do is call the kids and or write. Chances are she won't do either but for their sakes give it a try. Good Luck .
2006-10-12 17:31:13 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that yes,, their mother & you love them very much.
Mom made a big mistake. Sometimes people say or do things that they think might be right at the time only to discover they made a huge mistake. Sometimes they are afraid to come back or talk to people they may have hurt -- for fear of not being forgiven. Ask them if they have ever said / done something that hurt someone & if they were afraid to say they were sorry.
Dont point out the enormity of the mistake to them,, they well know it themselves or will with age. They will remember what she did every day & how you reacted & what you said to them or about her to them. Dont teach them to become bitter,,,,, You dont have to say she was a saint but dont condem her in front of them. They will respect you a whole lot more for that when they are older. Trust me. I am sorry for your family's pain.
God bless you & your children.
2006-10-12 17:28:32 · answer #3 · answered by Turtle1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man
i really have no advice
im sorry
i wish i could say something
pray
just pray
try to contact her
and just tell the kids
youre sure she loves them
you just dont know what shes thinking or doing right now
hang in there
dont tell them she doesnt love them
ever
even if it turned out that she didnt (god forbid)
but im sure thats not the case
sounds like she has some issues to work out
just be the best daddy you can
and make you sure you give them lots of extra lovin
youre loving for two now
good luck
dont forget to pray
2006-10-12 17:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by jes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, talk about double standards here. In basically every question that women post on Yahoo about the man leaving the kids, everyone responds, "DIVORCE HIS *** AND SUE FOR CHILD SUPPORT".
In this case its the mom that left, and not one mention of suing her. I'm sorry for these kids but feel the mom should be held to at least the same responsibilities that society holds a father to.
2006-10-12 17:44:26 · answer #5 · answered by xoxo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine a mother doing that. You must be in knots over this. I would probably tell them that you are sure she loves them but she is trying to deal with some issues of her own and isn't thinking to clearly right now and maybe not handling things to good. Let them know they will always have you there for it must be a very scary world to them to have their own mother bail out.
2006-10-12 17:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by To Be 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth.Mom definately loves you but I think she needed to cut loose for awhile & that sometimes adults make mistakes too.
Im sorry that some women behave this way,,I personally dont think that that was right to leave you & the children that way.You will probably be happier in the long run once you get used to things.Good Luck,,better days are coming.
2006-10-12 17:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell them the truth and give them lots of love so that they know you wont leave them! Thats really hard to tell small children or any children i'm sure but the truth is probably the best thing! Good luck!
2006-10-12 17:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by LiBrA2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That is hard.. Really hard. I would really think about it hard before you talk to them and pray for help. (if you believe in God). Maybe you could not tell them everything but say something like your mother loves you and always has she is just going thru something right now and is struggling in life. That is hard.
2006-10-12 17:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by tina*21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all money isnt everything. . and the childrenkave a right to know the truth about this . children understand more than you think in this day as well time they have a right to know the truth . in my opion ?
2006-10-12 17:31:42 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋