would you be upset?

Question

if your spouse was having dreams about someone else
and would it matter if it was someone they were once involved with
keeping in mind they cant control their dreams

its just a question...not necessairaily about me or my spouse just in general

Answer 1

well, if he was honest enough to tell ou then i dont hink i would be that worried. if you have reasons to be supicious though, ask him directly if there is something going on.

Answer 2

Well, you're right in noting that no one cannot control dreams. They just happen. I'm curious as to how this came up? Your spouse obviously shared this info with you. I think this is like anything else -- life throws us curveballs, as do relationships. It's in how we deal with them and communicate about them that matters. There are many scenarios here -- 1. Your spouse told you because it's not big deal and he/she actually thought it was sort of amusing; 2. Your spouse told you b/c it IS a big deal and he/she wants to talk (if so, do!); 3. Your spouse told you b/c he/she wants to make you jealous or is in need of attention -- something to be explored delicately, but fully.

If it reoccurs, then it doesn't have to be a horrible thing -- perhaps your spouse just has some unfinished business/issues to work out on his/her own, with a therapist or member of clergy or support group or whatever. Try to support him or her, but be honest about your own feelings -- that you are feeling sensitive or threatened or jealous, etc. -- honesty and openness is usually the road to a healthy, stable relationship.

Answer 3

My wife would be upset, because she is a psychology major and knows that dreams are from the subconscious. However, she would appreciate the honesty of me telling her if that were happening, because we could work it out together. If I were having any unresolved feelings, or issues, that were causing the dreams to happen.

Personally, I believe that the individual in question is not necessary the literal incarnation of the original person. This could merely symbolize an unfulfilled desire and it is being embodied subconsciously using the image of someone she/he was once close to.

Answer 4

I'm big on dream stuff...Ok. I'll try to keep this simple. Dreams are never about the individual. It's about a characteristic of that individual. A sex dream is not about sex with the 'person'. Sex should be a very personal thing and can simulate a closeness. So it would be a closeness with a characteristic and not a dream of missing sex with the ex.

Answer 5

No, we can't control our dreams, but I think there's a message here. For one thing, how do you know about these dreams? She must TELL you, or you wouldn't know. Then what do you think her motivation might be for telling you? Really, really think about that. She "wants" to upset you? (WHY?) She's "gently" letting you know that part of her is still involved? (To what end?) She's trying to assuage her guilty conscience? I wouldn't be "upset" but I'd definitely want to know more...

Answer 6

If the person they were having dreams about were still alive, then yes I would be terribly upset, especially if they were of a sexual nature. If that person were dead, then I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 7

Yeah. I 'd probably kill him in his sleep to make those silly little dreams last forever for him.

Answer 8

If they were having dreams of them over and over again, then yeah, it would bug me.

Answer 9

no.. but the not being able to control dreams part is kinda not true because u dream of wat u think of the most.. i dont mean to ruin ur relationship or nehting but thats how it is... not always tho so dont worry.. i wouldnt get mad.

Answer 10

The fact that the person shared it with you....I wouldn't worry about it.