Should we talk or avoid?

Question

In a relationship, I often find that the arguments, bad emotions and breakups happen because of talking too much about everything (especially those things that are very negatively emotional). Most psychologists would agree that the problem is that we need to communicate MORE. Do you agree, or should we avoid talking sometimes? Explain.

Answer 1

i think being together means facing the negatives together as well.

usually it's uncomfortable and very emotional, so of course that is unpleasant.

however, in a healthy relationship you establish certain rules - like no name calling/purposely hurting each other/not going to bed or leaving angry/taking a few minutes apart until you're calm enough to deal with it, etc.

Your partner should not be your psychologist, too - but you do need to be able to communicate effectively and in synch to be able to ride out the rough waves - otherwise you both shut down, begin feeling resentment, and other problems arrise.

Answer 2

Communication in a marriage is critical to it's success. However the important part of that is what that communication is.

We all have different perspective on everything and just because your married doesn't change that. So when there is a disagreement both should be willing to hear the other point of view without critizim. If a disagreement ends, or starts, with an argument the only thing communicated is that the other person is wrong and nothing is really heard.

So talking too much about the wrong things, especially negativily, will not really communicate at all.

What the psycologists are talking about is effective communication and not just talking for the sake of it.

Answer 3

I think we should avoid talking while emotions are running high. Go do something else for a while to let the heat of the moment pass. They say you should never go to bed angry but sometimes a little rest can put a different perspective on things. However, don't avoid the volatile topic indefinitely just wait until both can be rational and then address completely and get rid of it so that it doesn't become an issue that is beaten over and over again.

Answer 4

I think that you should avoid talking when you're too angry or upset to really listen to the other person. Other than that, I think that discussing problems with your partner is extremely important. Now I don't mean constantly bickering about the same thing. If you talk about someting and still can't come to an agreement, just let it be. (That is if it's not something harmful to your relationship)

Answer 5

From my experience it is better to have a timeout before talking through disagreements, sometimes when we take a step back to cool off we realise that it was a stupid argument in the first place and dont need to worry anymore.

Answer 6

Sometimes talking too much is bad. Especially if your talking about subjects that would be better off left alone.So talking about everything is not good. My husband still doesn't know everything about me, and probably never will. it's not necessary and whats the point.

Answer 7

i think u should avoid each other in the heat of things , when your hot an shes hot u never see the others side just yours. back off then start over a while later when u both had time to think good luck

Answer 8

Talk only when both are calm, avoid accusations cos the other will turn defensive..

Pick the right time, right place, right words..start with praises, recognitions and gently bring up issues for solution..

Answer 9

Talking is good, but should be respectful. Partners can hurt each other more than you can imagine. Communication should be the key of a long lasting relaltionship.

Answer 10

The psychologists are wrong. Men and women talk every issue to death these days. Keep your whining to yourselves. Talk just fans the flames of resentment.