My BF had invited me to visit his mom. So off we go and i am excited to met his family for the first time. Everyone was great excpet for his unlce Dave. Thruout the whole night he made rasict jokes and said some pretty nasty, hatefull things. I was trying to keep quiet, but after awhile, i could not help my self. I stood up and pointed at his face and said " people like you make me sick. who the hell are you to sit here and judge people like that. I can not even be in the same room as you" i went to the kitchen and told his mom i was going to the hotel. She asked me what was wrong and i told her about what he said, but not about what i did. she said she was sorry that i had to hear that trash from him. when we got home, his mom called yelling at me saying that i was in the wrong for reacting the way i did and that i was no longer welcome in her home. she wont see my bf either if he dates me. this is hard on my bf. he sides with me . should i tell her sorry, even if i dont mean it?
2006-10-12 15:30:22 · 5 answers · asked by carriec 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My bf told me that he was happy that someone finally stood up to his uncle. i am NOT sorry for what i did. i just wonder if i should break it off with him. I dont want to ever have to be part of a family that allows this behavior.
2006-10-12 15:34:49 · update #1
I just called him mom. I told her that i was sorry for being disrespectful in her home. A s hard as its going to be, i am also going to tell the unlce that i am sorry for getting into his face. His mom told me that i was forgiven and also told me that her brother is no longer allowed to speak like that in her home. I was wrong for the way i acted. It is just very hard for me to hear people talk in such a nast way!!
2006-10-12 16:01:45 · update #2
you seem tobe level-headed.
but i agree that you never point a finger at anyone ever, not unless you are under direct agression. much more on your 1st visit to ur bf's family, much more at his uncle, no matter what he said. i don't know how old you are, but you have to cultivate the atr of diplomacy. you stoop below his level when you just flare up like that, fancying yourself as an anti-racist heroine. world's a lot more brutal, and unforgiving, in so many thousand more ways.
i'd say you need to apologize sincerely for the incident-- to your bf, his mom, dad, and uncle. yep, even if you don't feel sorry. aplogize for the unfortunateness of that incident. don't make the mistake of justifying yourself. just say: "i apologize." and do so as soon as you can, whether or not you break up w your bf. it's just the proper way of doing things.
remember that you were a guest at their place, that's why.
2006-10-12 15:52:01 · answer #1 · answered by doe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should...now is not a matter of who did the right thing...but is about respect. Is not respectful for a guest to yell at someone in that way. When you are visiting you have to follow the rules from the house and just keep yourself quiet or say what you think in a respectful way...or just walk away from that situation.
I am sure that without yelling but talking...you would have had better results...but since is already done...i think you should apologize.
2006-10-12 22:39:06 · answer #2 · answered by There! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No , stick with your belief . Saying you are sorry is a lie . It is good that you told the Uncle off , but it probably will never run across his dull mind again .
You and your bot friend need to seriously discuss this and decide together if you love him ! Let Mom Come around on her own OR NOT !
2006-10-12 22:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure his mother will get over it. You did the right thing. Living in the south I hear a lot of stuff like that. I wish I could be as foward as you and chew their a** about it.
If anything just tell your BF how you feel. You might find he doesn't care and that she may act that way a lot.
2006-10-12 22:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsy Cat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you and your boyfriend are serious, you need to try and make things right with his mother. You should have told her the whole story right from the start. Now you don't know what the uncle has told her.
2006-10-12 22:34:10 · answer #5 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋