My husband and I are having troubles in our marraige.... I posted the following, now I'm questioning if a legal seperation will help. He has mentioned it twice now, but I am unsure about it and if it would be the right decision. Please help!!!
I'm married to a wonderful man. He thought it would be awesome to see me w/ another female(possibly join in if time was right). Well, I became friends(and more) w/ a lesbian. I never thought I would/could have deep feelings for another female, but I do. I love both of them - each for their own qualities! He doesn't want me to talk to or see her ever again. But, I feel a pull to her. Not only is she funny, smart and hot, but she makes me feel alive. She compliments me, makes me feel like I truly mean something.
2006-10-12 12:58:57 · 21 answers · asked by Unsure 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you have to think... Does ur marriage mean anything to u? If it does then legal separation (divorce) is the best... if it doesn't an annulment... But with the situation with the other person... Do u love that person enough to give up what u have? And is it worth losing ur marrage over? It's ur choice but u have to think of what is best in the long run for u and everyone... Please think things through and talk to both of them....
2006-10-12 13:03:35 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This depends on what you are calling "legal separation." Do you have a written agreement? Do you live in a state where these are even recognized? Did an attorney draft the SA or did you use the self-atty method (not bright even if you're a lawyer)? If you have a written SA and live in a state which recognizes legal separation, if you read your SA, it probably says what your rights are about this. Nothing I've said should replace the advice of your own legal counsel.
2016-05-21 21:36:23 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both you and your husband need a marriage counselor, pronto.
If you don't see the marriage counselor your on your way to becoming a lesbian. Did you know that you took a vow to honor and love your husband in sickness and in health for the rest of your life. What you are doing with another woman is totally wrong and immoral, especially since you are married to a man.
Go see the marriage counselor and try to save the marriage and tell the girlfriend to hit the road.
2006-10-12 13:03:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what you each hope to accomplish in some period of time. If neither agree that it is to save the marriage, then forget the speration as it would be a waste of time. But under your circumstances, I would say to cut your losses now and move on. I dont see your husband ever taking you back or you ever going back. Too big a difference in id issues. So you would be a whole lot better of divorcing him and both moving on to happier times. You guys tried something and it turned out totally different and un expected but ruined your marriage so its nobodys fault but has to be done before you can truly move on. Good luck
2006-10-12 13:13:06 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you need to work out if it is going to ever be possible to feel the things you feel for this woman with your husband. it may take some councilling and it will take work. Seperation is not the answer. work out your issues. learn to really love each other again. what attracted you to each other in the first place. remember the great things about each other and build on that. if you just take the easy way out you will find this behaviour will re surface again in time.
2006-10-12 13:22:42 · answer #5 · answered by Snoopyk8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must not had been such a wonderful man, as to ask you to do something like that..you said in your question at the end, that she makes you feel truly something, that she is smart, compliments you, funny and hot..doesn't sound like he was so wonderful if he wasn't making you feel like that..sounds like you both are having some problems in your marriage..i would tell him how you are feeling and if you both agree that it would help to go and talk with someone, to see if you both want this marriage or not, that is what i would suggest..most men have fantasies about stuff like this, but won't go threw with it, if they truly love their wife..i won't judge you on your decision, that is your decision..but i have seen many of marriages break up over this way..blessings
2006-10-12 13:15:39 · answer #6 · answered by connie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A legal seperation has to be followed up with a divorce later; so unless there you want to delay a divorce or there is financial worries then go for the divorce if you can't work it out with your man....
Remember there is nothing like the real thing!!!!
2006-10-12 13:09:39 · answer #7 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would reccomend a trial seperation and some marraige counseling if you are indeed serious about wanting to save your marraige.
You have to remember that you cannot *have your cake and eat it to*. You will eventually have to choose between the two of them.
2006-10-12 13:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by noknownaccount 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation (separated) is just a made up term that people use that makes them feel better for having sex with someone else. In reality, and legally you are only married, or single.
2006-10-12 13:02:11 · answer #9 · answered by bigbadwolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think you should see a counselor for advise and if that doesn't work try something else. I think he met a person he want to go out with but if you love him enough hold on and never let go.
2006-10-12 13:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋