Wife rejecting Sex by making Excuses?

Question

I'm doing this for a friend of mine here:

His wife rejects him all the time and she makes up excuses like someone might hear them, the neighbors, the kid who is like 14, ect... Then to make it worse she does get into it and then backs out. I've tryed finding out if she is depressed or what not but I get no where. Any ideas???

Answer 1

yea you stay out of it you getting into it is only going to make things worse it is none of your bussness what they do or what they dont do and when the husband goes to talk about it tell him its none of your buessness beileve me once she finds out you know it will only be hell.

Answer 2

Some people are very self conscious about sex and think that if some one heard them they would think less of them it can be very very embarrassing for them like passing wind in public or belching it is considered very rude indeed , so it maybe that she is to worried about that and unable to practice the act at all or is it possible that she might just be very loud when intimate and aware of that , (Eg Moaning and screaming or perhaps talking dirty)I know its more likly that she can get into sex with her partner for a reason other than that , but it is a possability.
Id ask her out to dinner and go to a hotel for the night there she can get it on with hubby without worrying who is next door or in the next room . Take away her reasons not to and give her a reason to want to , be romantic at dinner ask her whats new in her day and dont preasure her if she still says no just sleep pay and have a nice breakfast an arguement isnt going to help after all is it .

Answer 3

That's tough. Maybe counseling. Maybe he should try backing off until SHE starts asking for it. It could be that she is just depressed or in a slump. I go for long periods without wanting it. I think we all do at different times. It may be just one of those things she will get over given time. OR maybe she doesn't feel attracted to him any more or vise versa. Maybe he should start going to the gym or doing things that might peek her interest. OR maybe showering her with a little more affection.

Answer 4

Put it this way, the day your male friend stops asking for it from her, then she will be the one to blame. It's OK to be stressed or depressed, but unless you were raped as a child or are having an affair with the guy from deli, she has no valid excuse. She should be flattered that her husband wants her so. Sooner or later he will stray, and "you" might just be that understanding friend :) Good luck!

Answer 5

Maybe she's just not that into him. Or, it could be she is just too tired or too preoccupied with other thoughts to actually take part in intimacy.
He needs to speak to her about this ongoing problem and inform her that even though sex isn't number one in a marriage, she should at least enjoy it with him on occasion. He should tell her that he feels insecure when she doesn't do it and he wants to know the real reasons with no excuses.
They may need counseling.

Answer 6

Perhaps she is feeling used if he doesn't meet her needs or if he doesn't ask what she wants in bed. Some men act like they "KNOW" how to please a woman when actually they don't. Sometimes it is easier to reject a partner than to be hurt by one, it is called self preservation.

Women need to feel desired throughout the day, not just in bed. They need to connect with their man emotionally in order to feel comfortably vulnerable in bed. There are apparently other issues this man does not see or feel.

Emotional or verbal abuse from the man can make the wife feel this way.

Answer 7

She is turning him down for other reasons. When a wife feels overwhelmed,unappreciated, and or poorly about herself it will affect her libido. Is it certain that she doesn't have health issues?
High Blood Pressure, fibroid tumors, hormone imbalance? Is she under alot of stress? Is she worring about something and holds her husband responsible for not fixing it. Has she lost respect for her mate? A woman who has any of these symptoms will demonstrate it in a lack of sex drive. Perhaps he is leaving her dissatisfied after a session and she doesn't want to bother.
In any event he should discuss this private matter with her and try to romance her as well instead of discussing it with others.

Answer 8

something traumatic has probably happened to her. If it wasn't caused her husband, then maybe she knows something about her body or an experience she has gone through involving a sexual incident that she may never have shared with him. ie she could have been raped. She could have contracted a disease. She certainly does not find sex interesting nor her husband. She needs to get some help.

Answer 9

She may be having an affair, so she is feeling guilty, and thinks maybe if he leaves her over this, she would be off the hook. Or maybe she was molested or abused as a child, or maybe raped recently and didn't tell anyone, and didn't ge the help she needs, and now she is having problems with sex

Answer 10

There could be a ton of reasons for her behavior. She could be cheating on him, and probably feels too guilty to even make love with him, or she could be not all that into it. Maybe there isnt enough romance invovled in it. Maybe your friend should try to spice things up a little to see how it goes.

Answer 11

Sounds like she's not very interested in sex. How often does he try to initiate? If it's like every day then I totally understand her. If once a month - it's fair, and she should put out whether she wants it or not. Really.