My boyfriend and I just broke up after about 5 years, and I have two boys from a previous marrage (6&7) and he just moved out. I guess we just wanted differnt things, me..a family and a father figure for the kids..him, a chance to be young and not be tied down.
But now I have to pick up the pieces and I'm not sure how. they don't understand breaking up. help!
2006-10-12 10:55:22 · 11 answers · asked by Wendy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You tell them the truth. You tell them that friendships can come and go, but that family is forever. That sometimes people you care about don't stay; but that you, as their mother, will always be there for them. They'll feel some insecurity. You use this as an opportunity to reassure them of your love and stability. They'll feel some loss. Use this to fill their little lives with shared joys with you. You find simple ways of telling them: "This is why committment is so important."
So he's a wave that comes and goes. You're the rock... strong and steadfast. Let them see the difference. Not only will they love you more for it, and feel safer with you because of it, but... when they're grown, they will try to imitate you, not him.
2006-10-12 11:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by antirion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kids are pretty resilient and they understand far more than you give them credit for. They know their father is no longer with you [for whatever reason] so this recent guy being out of the picture is nothing new. I have great respect for any man who would take on the responsibility of taking care of another mans family...I can also understand how a man once in that situation, tends to figure out why the other man departed -or find reasons as to why he need not remain involved in the situation. The kids will be fine- they already understand that people will leave their lives...maybe some counseling or parenting classes for you might be in order -to help you better understand how your lifestyle is affecting their development... Best wishes to you.
2006-10-12 18:07:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are resilient and will be able to adjust. My mom went through relationships when I was growing up and I bounced back each time. It'll suck for a while especially if they were attached as I sometimes got. But in the end, they'll manage fine so long as you take care of yourself. I also have a hunch that your kids understand more than you give them credit for.
2006-10-12 17:59:30 · answer #3 · answered by leedogg1981 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reassure your children that its not them and that you had different point of views with their father but their father and you love them very much do not bad mouth your ex for no child wants to be put in the middle so reassure them that they are safe and loved and everything will work out in the end HUGS
2006-10-12 17:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the price you and especially the kids pay when you play house with someone. What lesson are you teaching your sons about marriage and living right? Don't move a man in unless you're married. Where is the father of these boys? I hope he is in their lives. Someone has to be a good example for them. You are not.
2006-10-12 18:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
THAT IS A REALLY HARD THING TO GO THROUGH. YOU NEED TO REMEMBER NOT TO TELL THE KIDS TO MUCH THEY R JUST KIDS AND THEY DON'T NEED TO DEAL W/ ADULT THINGS.
DOES YOUR EX STILL WANT TO HAVE ANY THING TO DO W/ THE BOYS EVEN IF U GUYS AREN'T TOGETHER? (BEING HE WAS IN THERE LIFE 4 SO LONG.)
2006-10-12 18:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by ROSIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your kids that one day theyll have the perfect father just for them and that you love them very much thats what i'd wanna hear if my mommy just broke up with sum 1 peace:)
2006-10-12 17:58:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THINK THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO BE HONEST WITH YOUR KIDS. EVENTHOUGH THEY ARE YOUNG I THINK THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. IT IS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT AT THE BEGINING BUT AFTER A WHILE THEY WILL GET USED TO IT. I AM SURE IT WILL BE TOUGH FOR YOU TOO BUT SHOWING STRENGHT, AND MOST IMPORTANT, HAPPINESS TO YOUR KIDS WILL MAKE THEM FEEL BETTER. YOU ARE THEIR COURAGE , DON'T FORGET IT.
2006-10-12 18:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by PAO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them what u just wrote in the letter here. kids know when u are trying to hide something so just be honest with them and let them know its not their fault and that it had nothing to do with them.
2006-10-12 17:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by skylinbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell them he's not worthy of this family and things will go on fine just without him around..................God might just find them a better father in due time.............
2006-10-12 17:58:26 · answer #10 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋