hello I am 14 and my BOYFRIEND is 16.
He want to run away and get married
2006-10-12 10:50:50 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
As your name says, you are too young.
You are also under the age of consent, which means your boyfriend could get in trouble if you're having sex.
The real question here is WHY he wants to run away and get married. If he's having problems at home, or he's just not happy, or whatever. Marriage isn't the answer. Marriage is hard, hard work, and it's not something to just run into lightly like that. It's a big decision.
You're only 14. Perhaps you should be concentrating more on your schoolwork and grades and hanging out with your friends than having a relationship as serious as this. I know it doesn't feel this way, but you have your whole life ahead of you, you don't need to live it all at once. I promise it will all be out there for you when you're done with high school.
When I was 14, I dated a boy who was 18. Actually, "dated" isn't the right word. We had sex a lot and talked a little. I regret it, because sex is something that makes you grow up too quickly, even if there is no baby. If I could go back and change things, I wouldn't have given my virginity to him. He wasn't worthy.
You need to think about what you want. Not what he wants, not how cool your friends will think you are, not how much this will scare and piss off your parents, but what YOU want. What YOU need in your life right now. You aren't even old enough to get a job, and one minimum wage job at part-time will not support two people. It wouldn't even support one person. (He's not old enough to legally work full-time, either - you have to be at least 18 to work full-time.)
Aside from all that, I'm sure you probably fight with your mom a lot - you're right at that age where everything she does is an affront to you and everything she is is what you don't want to be because you're changing and growing and becoming a person in your own right, and she's driving you crazy. That said, you still love her. She still loves you, no matter how much you fight. She would be HEARTBROKEN if you ran away and got married at 14. Even if she yelled at you about it, it would be because she is scared for you and wants what is best for you, and marriage at 14 is not best for anyone.
I'm 19 and I'm not ready to be married or have a family. I'm still trying to learn how to take care of myself, and I don't always do a good job. I'm five years older than you. When I was 14, I couldn't have made it on my own, and I'm grateful that I had people around to take care of me until I was old enough to strike out on my own.
It also sounds like you really just want someone to make the decision for you, which is a sure sign that you shouldn't make that kind of decision because you're not ready. You deserve to have the joy of a new relationship with a sweet boy who cares about you, the kind where there is no sex, and where you just talk and laugh - I wish I'd had that kind of relationship.
You deserve to stay at home and let your parents finish raising you - even when you think you hate them or that they have never loved you, neither is true. They love you, they want to take care of you, and they care about you, and care about what is going on in your life.
But, really, you need to make the decision that is right for you. If you think you are ready to be an adult and pay rent, electric bills, phone bills, water bills, car payments, car insurance, health insurance, food... if you can do all that and have a healthy relationship and hold down a steady job, without anyone doing any of it for you, then go for it. If you feel ready. If you want to give up going to the mall, or sleepovers, or staying out late, or high school. If you want to give up shopping, go right ahead. It's your decision. Are you ready for the consequences?
2006-10-12 11:13:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st off ya can't get married if ya underage without ya parent approved trust had some friends that got married under 18. 2nd if yall love each other that's great. However runing away isn't the answer for any reason for any age. Stay live with yall parents and enjoy being a teen and high school life. These are the best years of ya life. Enjoy them. And last even if both parents approve of the marriage and did sign for yall. Wait for the marriage. Both of yall are gonna change so much between the age yall are now and 20. Give it time. If its love and yall are meant to be. A few years won't change that.
2006-10-12 17:56:41 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was the same way at 14 with my boyfriend!!! But what ever you do make sure you have a back up plan!!! Because 4 months after I ran away with my boyfriend I got pregnant and he didn't really want that kinda of responsibility so he at a hotel with no money and no food!!! And I was really glad that I kept in touch with my best friend because she go me back on my feet and helped me out with the baby!!!!
2006-10-12 18:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by Prue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too young, marriage is difficult enough for people much older than the two of you! Isn't there a female relative or someone you trust that you can talk to? What about your school counselor? Speak to somebody soon before you do something irresponsible and live to regret it! Good Luck!
2006-10-12 18:01:07 · answer #4 · answered by lainey lain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you two are way to young to run away and get married. I mean by the law your not even old enough to get married without a parents signiture. Don't do it.
2006-10-12 17:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR BEHIND BEAT....WHY EVEN ASK A QUESTION LIKE THAT...THE BEST I COULD TELL YOU IS TO DO WHAT YOU WANT. I JUST HOPE YOU ARE SMART ENOUGH TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT THING...IM 14 TOO BUT I HAVE BETTER SENSE THAN TO HAVE A QUESTION LIKE THAT.AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER YOU RUN AWAY TOGETHER AND YOUR FAMILY DISOWNS YOU AND HE LEAVES YOU???THINK ABOUT THAT.
2006-10-12 17:56:00 · answer #6 · answered by MADNESS!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if thats what u want to do then go for it but i think but i think befor u even think about that u should prolly think about collage because if u dont and you get pregnent and you dont finish collage how are u going to saport your kid do u really think he is going to saport u and your kid and the longer u wait 4 collage the harder it will be 4 u to get in and remember all the stuff u need to no am i right but its ur choice
2006-10-12 17:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by bubbles and bambam 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your name says it all. It sounds all so cute and romantic, but who is going to clean the toilet, do the washing and shopping, the hoovering, take out the rubbish?
Being married isn't all champagne and caviar you know.
2006-10-12 17:54:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is one marriage proposal you will have to turn down. I am sure that you have heard all the reasons as to why no way, so I am not going to gloat and push them in your face. Just trust me on this one.
2006-10-12 17:54:36 · answer #9 · answered by nnaming2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No no no no....that is a BAD decision to make. You are both way too young. Stay at home and go to school!
2006-10-12 17:56:43 · answer #10 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋