ive been married to my husband 4 2 years and i show him love and affection . but i feel that he dont show it back to me.what should i do
2006-10-12 10:49:07 · 32 answers · asked by e_coly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know at first you may seem shy, or afraid. You are not alone. You fear the consequences from his reations to the questions that may arise. Don't be. My husband told me last night, "who did I marry"? Men and women think totally opposite. We think about our feelings like they think about sex CONSTANTLY!! Keep showing affection to your husband, and continue loving him. I was told by an older wife that you have to love your husband as Christ loved the church. You have to do for your husband as if you are thanking God for your happiness. Marriage is ALOT of work. Only you truly know his heart because he said I DO to you. Keep loving him and pray. I understand from experience 3 years married, 6 yrs together
2006-10-12 11:30:43 · answer #1 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you run off and assume he's cheating, or you need to lose weight, or whatever other ridiculous things have been said, talk to your husband. Don't argue, or whine, or be accusatory, be open and honest. Explain how his behavior makes you feel. It might just be that he shows affection differently than you and doesn't quite understand your needs. And with husbands, as I have learned, you often need to TELL them what you need...they aren't very good as guessing.
If there is a deeper underlying issue, it may take some time, but just be open and work it out. If you feel you need more help or guidance, look into a self help site/book, or if you can afford it seek marriage counseling. If you attend a church, many offer free programs for couples to help with communication.
2006-10-12 10:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sativa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been married for two years and you dont think he shows affection back test him. dont tell him you love him or hug and kiss him goodnight or even have sex when he wants it. It may work for the best or the worse. If he doesnt care leave him he is not worth your time and affection. You could find better if he doesnt want to show you how much he loves you. Give it a whirl.
2006-10-12 10:55:20 · answer #3 · answered by Tinkerbelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't show it - or he doesn't feel it? There's a difference. Some people are just not very expressive; they may "show" it in different ways, but sometimes one just has to know where to look. My husband likes to hang out with me, we talk a lot; I feel that I can share anything with him and he'll listen. He may not hold my hand often, or say "I love you" every day - but I still know that I am important to him, there's no doubt about that.
If you doubt his feelings for you, there may be a deeper problem than him simply being non-expressive.
2006-10-12 11:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a) Define very clearly, to yourself, in writing, what you need/want.
b) Call a marriage counselor or a pastor for an appt. for yourself to go over the list. This will help make it non-accusatory.
c) Cook his favorite dinner and ask when a good time to discuss something very important to you would be.
d) If necessary, return to the marriage counselor/pastor as a couple.
e) Remember, marriage is always a 2 way partnership.
2006-10-12 10:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage Counseling
2006-10-12 10:50:47 · answer #6 · answered by Joe Prosnick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u say u been married to him for 42yrs. that is a long time congradulations. have u tried just talking to him about ur feelings. if yes then try something surprising. like go to a park and have a picnic . by the way surprise him there by not wearing any under clothes and give him a peek
2006-10-12 12:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many guys feel if you don't say anything, then nothing is wrong. Tell him exactly what you want, such as "I'd like to have a date once a week like we did before we got married". Guys don't take hints very well, but he might be totally clueless as to why you're not happy.
2006-10-12 10:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. After getting married sometimes one or both of them feel like they no longer feel like it is a big deal to show affection.
They think that getting married proves that they love you and having sex is affection.
You just need to sit down and talk to him.
It may even be that it just hasn't crossed his mind lately that he hasn't done it.
You never know.
When you talk to him, don't accuse or talk down to him.
Make the conversation light, make sure that he doesn't feel cornered or ambushed.
Good luck
Tabberlynn
2006-10-12 11:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by tabberlynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling is a good idea. You need to clearly lay out to him how you feel and what EXACTLY you need. Men can be boneheaded sometimes.
Tell him what things make you feel loved. He is probably trying to show you how he feels in different ways.
2006-10-12 10:53:59 · answer #10 · answered by evergreenjamal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋