My boyfriend smoks pot and I do not like it because I could not see a future with him. I told him that I did not think it's cool but he would not listen. He says it's Amrican culture. I think that I can't marry him if he would not stop. However, I love him. What should I do?
2006-10-12 10:42:57 · 29 answers · asked by Kiwi B 1 in Travel ➔ United States ➔ Orlando
I don't think smoking a little here and there is a big deal. What I see as the problem is that he has kept this from you for two years. What else is he keeping from you. I think this is a deal breaker. Leave him. Find someone who is open from the get go.
Good Luck
2006-10-12 10:53:24 · answer #1 · answered by boulderv6 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was in this very same situation when I first met my wife. When we met we were living in different countries so we spent the vast majority of the first three months apart. My wife then came to where I was and stayed for a little over two months. I already knew that she smoked pot. She was always open with it so it was not like it was any surprise to me. However, I had never ever been around drugs. I never touched them and none of my friends did either. When I found out that my then girlfriend, now wife, smoked pot I thought I was cool with it. That was until I was actually in her presence and around her and her friends when they were actually doing it. I then realized that I didn’t like it and the more time went on I realized that it was not something I could handle. At the time my wife called me a hypocrite – after all I had said I had no problem with it. Maybe she had a point but I don’t think I was lying when I initially said I didn’t mind it, I just didn’t know how I would react when I was actually confronted with it. It got to the point where I had to ask my wife to make a decision – me or pot. That might seem like a harsh thing to do but I knew we would have no future otherwise. I would not be very happily married to my wife today if I had not asked her to make that choice. If my wife had continued smoking pot I would not have been able to deal with it and sooner or later it would have split us up. Thankfully my wife chose me over pot. If you really cannot deal with your boyfriend’s use of pot, you must make him choose too. If he truly loves you it will be an easy choice for him. If he chooses pot over you then you are better off without him, aren’t you? If you had a habit that your boyfriend could not deal with, wouldn’t you be willing to at least try and stop it, for him?
2006-10-18 12:35:01 · answer #2 · answered by absolutely_fabulous_78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when I found out my boyfriend smoked weed I wanted him to quit, too. He didn't want to, though, and eventually I tried it. lol Surprise! I love it, now, and we love to smoke together. We've been together and very happy for four years. Marijuana's not half as bad as people believe. It's certainly not worse than anyone smoking cigarettes. It's not a gateway drug. Neither of us have ever graduated to any other drugs. And we've both agreed that as soon as I decide to get pregnant, we're both quitting completely. Try it, maybe it's not worth leaving him.
If you knew anything about pot you wouldn't have a problem with it. I love the comment someone made, "Do you want your kids to have a dad who gets fried and watches TV?" lol It's not like that at all. Obviously, you just noticed he's smoking pot after two years, meaning the way you know him is the way he is when he's high. If he quits smoking completely, he's going to change, and not for the better. And I don't see how that person connects smoking weed to watching TV. So many people sit around and watch TV way more than they should. It doesn't mean they're fried. I get high so many times a day, I can't even keep track. And I have such a high tolerance, my high doesn't last any longer than 20 minutes. I get fried and go to work for 12+ hours, go to college, and have kept an excellent relationship with my boyfriend for four years. I don't smoke it to "escape." It wakes me up and makes me energetic. In fact, I'm going to smoke a bong right now. I must just be special. I can smoke and still have a happy life. I work, I go to school, and I have great relationships with my friends and family. Kudos to me, I guess!
2006-10-12 21:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by Katlyn ♥ Disney 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why is this question ins the Orlando section???
Anyway... When I first met my fiance he used to smoke weed and sell it too. I told him that I don't like that crap and would prefer if he would stop, but that it's his life and he can do what he wants with it as long as he doesn't smoke around me and come to me while he is high. He accepted my feelings and understood how I felt. We started to become really close and spent more and more time together and he eventually stopped. I know it's not exactly the same situation as you, but try to work with him and if he is unwilling too then obviously he isn't worth it. Good Luck!!!
2006-10-13 05:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by ditzychik508 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know plenty of Americans that don't smoke pot and/or gave it up when the realized that they had to grow up. If he's dedicated to it more than you, then you have to question that. Any use of drugs or alcohol are escapism. Do you want your kids to have a dad that gets fried and watches TV? Try Nar-Anon. You are worth more than he can give you. Go.
2006-10-13 21:36:42 · answer #5 · answered by Joyce T 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you've been together for two years and you just found out!?!I guess it is his pot personality that you feel in love with, like his "easy going ways, calm-demeanor, and general niceness", think about it awhile. If you love him so much find out why you have such strong feelings, maybe pot isn't so bad
2006-10-12 17:54:42 · answer #6 · answered by chaun_blue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol @ American culture. If you dont like it that much, tell him its you or the pot. Is he really that addicted to pot to leave you for it? Think about it.
2006-10-12 17:45:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him straight forward that you don't like him smoking it and would like him to quit. Let him know that you don't want a future with someone who smokes it. I did the same with my boyfriend but we compramised, he only smokes it when I'm not around and doesn't talk about it when I'm around him.
2006-10-12 17:46:55 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's that big of a deal, then you need to dump him and move on and find another goody-goody like yourself. Seriously, you need to join in and try it with him because it's fun and relaxing and is nothing to avoid.
2006-10-12 18:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its you or the pot. Make him choose. If he loves you, then he'll choose you. But, if he chooses the pot, then you should leave him because he cares more about the pot than your love.
2006-10-12 17:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by Mr. Main Event 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋