Before i get to the problem at hand let me give you all a little background info. After about 3.5 yrs after being married i had sex one time with a girl i picked up on line, i had no feelings for her other than to have sex. flash foward a couple years later my wife found out, forgave me after i told her the truth, and admitted to her that it was a one time thing and it has never happened since.
i found out yesterday that my wife took a pic of herslef topless on a dare with her cell phone and then a "old" male friend of hers sent her a pic of his ****. heres what gets me i had asked here many times to do things like this for me and she always said "NO" but here she is doing this on a dare for an old friend. I'm turned on but also want to know if i should believe her there is nothing going on. please any help would be appreciated
2006-10-12 10:26:54 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it doesn't sound like there is anything going on other than her ego being boosted here. even though she says she forgave you for your prior indiscretions , please believe me that they are always in the back of her mind...making her feel undesirable or angry. her way of acting out is giving someone else something that you want. i have been there in her shoes....and i have been in yours. if it turns you on ....let her know that. she wants to feel wanted....do something out of the norm...treat her to fantasy.
2006-10-12 10:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My, My, My, what some people won't do for entertainment....I guess..First of all I commend you for your honesty about the one night stand...you didn't have to but its obvious you have a conscience...Now concerning your wife that isn't right...I would not tolerate that type of behavior from my spouse...maybe I'm just a little old fashion...but maybe you're into that sort of thing because you did say you were turned on by it....I just wonder if they have had any other contact....It could be all in fun....I suggest having a conversation with her, keep an open mind..Listen to your heart...Good Luck
2006-10-12 17:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Mechelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, this isn't a harmless fun situation. It is like it says in the Bible, you reap what you sow. You messed around, and now she might be. You two need to seriously take a look inside yourselves. What is going on is wrong, and you need to turn from it. How about looking for God? All this stuff you are doing and she is doing is all empty in the end, you just don't know it yet. So the quicker you find God, the better.
2006-10-12 17:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by Light Bringer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for one thing if her sending a picture of her breast to this man and him showing his **** turned you on then i would think it turned him on as well. she sent her picture first he sent his next in he had an erection. if they had not had intercourse yet trust me they have.
now you want to know how to fix the problem then, one she how long its been since you have had *** with your wife.
two, if its not the normal time in between or average she may be gettin some somewhere else
three, if you have then she if it was as erosing as it was before if not she is getting it somewhere else.
four, tell her that it is not right for to be sending video text the way she is. when two people are married their body memebers belong to the person they shared they're vows with. trust me when you say that she is going to say you cheated on me or slept with another girl after the vows were exchanged. you tell her that you made the same mistake. but by you doing this to me it feels the same way as she did when she found out about the girl online. if you one us to be able to lok back on these moments when we are retired and say im glad we stuck together .if she can stop or can't see through that threaten with divorce if she tells you to file the papers then maybe she not the right person
2006-10-12 18:04:49 · answer #4 · answered by herbinator 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because someone forgives you doesn't mean that they will forget. She may have forgiven you but is still hurt that 1 - you did it and 2 - you never told her until how long after the fact. Maybe she did it out of revenge. Your whole situation could turn into something much much worse...maybe you should think about seeking counseling. Maybe just a few sessions will help clear everything up...good luck...
2006-10-12 17:42:12 · answer #5 · answered by Jeni O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your turned on by this? If I were you anger would be the emotion I would be feeling. I am assuming she was promoted out of the third grade many years ago. This is very imature of her. She was dared? Good Lord does she play spin the bottle too? I think you should be very upset with her and I wouldn't let this go until she made things right.
2006-10-12 17:40:10 · answer #6 · answered by Jewells 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
EVEN THOUGH YOU CHEATED YOU AND HER TALKED ABOUT IT AND SHE FORGAVE YOU SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE WHAT SHE DID NOR SHOULD HAVE YOU SEEMS TO BE SHE IS TRYING TO PAY YOU BACK FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO HER A DARE REALLY ISN'T A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE TO DO SUCH A THING HOW OLD ARE YOU 2 MARRIAGE IS A SERIOUS COMMITMENT IF NEITHER OF YOU ARE UP TO THE RESPECT FOR ONE ANOTHER TO BE IN THIS GET OUT NOW AND STOP WITH THE NONSENSE I DON'T THINK SHE IS MESSING WITH HIM BUT JUST GIVING YOU A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE NOW THAT YOU 2 ARE EVEN STOP AND MOVE ON
2006-10-12 17:56:27 · answer #7 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but you should have not cheated on her. This i think would be her way of getting even with you. She probably feels like if you are willing to sleep with another woman she is willing to show off what she has to another man. If this keeps up between you i hate to say but you will probably be seeing other people and going through a divorce. Best of luck!!!
2006-10-12 18:04:17 · answer #8 · answered by Tinkerbelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a) Are you as big of husband as she is a wife? Then do as she did and forgive.
b) Challenge her to play the same game with you.
c) If she told you this, then she is still all yours. Maybe she is a little bored. When was the last time you took her out to dinner and a motel?
2006-10-12 17:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by Joe Cool 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear bout ur situation first of all is all aspects of ur marriage ok right now. especially the sexual part of it. if not there might be more problems u dont see that u need to know not to sound like i dont trust people but if u suspect then flow her someday and found out if u think she is fooling around
but remember there could be damage done if she is not doing something wrong and she finds out u followed her
2006-10-12 19:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not sure we can help. You don't sound ANGRY enough about what your wife just did. You sound confused. She is stepping all over you.
I get it....you told us the story of you having sex with a girl so that we can understand that you did her bad too? right?
What your wife did was not normal, unless, she's cheating on you or seriously considering it. So if you can't deal with it then just put up.
2006-10-12 17:42:22 · answer #11 · answered by jackbauer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋