my girlfriend has been hurt in past?????

Question

my girlfriend was hurt in past.
1. her 2 ex's cheated on on her!!!
2.her last partner left her in 4k dept!!!
3. she has a 5 year old son with a guy who dont give a S**T about any of them.
4. the same ex tryed to kill her not so long ago when she refuse to give him another chance.

thanks to these w**KERs she finds it really hard to trust other guys.
i know she loves me but at mo she finds it hard to trust me. she wants to trust me but just cant at mo.
she is such a great woman and i dont understand why these guys did this to her. how she got though this i never know but she has.
i love her i really do. she 29 im 21. we not living together yet cos of the trust thing.I known her for about a year but been going out for about 3 months.
she calls me the rock cos i stood by her when other people have not.
whats the best thing i should do to help her forget her troubled past??
has anyone been or going tho a similer thing?? could u give me any help?
i just want her to be happy!!

Answer 1

Yes, although I did not face all this myself but I saw all this around me. Even I cud never trust my husband , because I felt when such beautiful women get cheated how could I be safe. But now it has been 2 years and i trust my hubby 96% , not yet completely but still. he always assured me that he is there for me and then his actions spoke louder.Every small thing like looking after me when I was in fever, comforting me in my stress and constant love notes made me trust him. You could also try all this, give her some time to realize that you will always be there for her. Also tell her that not all the fingers are alike and there have been men in this world who even died for love.Wish you luck !!

Answer 2

I have been through similar things to what your girlfriend went through, and it definately does make it hard to trust any man after that. I really don't know what advice to give you, but all i do know is that it will take time for her to learn to trust again. She won't ever completely forget about her troubled past, all you can do is just be there for her and in time she will start to trust you. It may take weeks, maybe months, so just show her what she has never had before. And that is a loving, caring man. Be happy, you both sound like you deserve it. Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

My friend, you sound like you would do anything for her, she has been through far to much, i know how she feels, OK i am a man i still have feelings, i have also been through the mill, trust me when i say this,you can not help her to forget the past, it's there for the rest of your life, you say you are her rock carry on being her rock, restore her faith in human nature, if you need to make a sacrifice here and there do it, she has been through enough, something brought you both together, so try to enjoy life together and don't talk about the past, just concentrate on the now and future for the two of you,and i am sure in time the only upset she will feel is that you both didn't meet sooner. best of luck to you both.

Answer 4

She has been very unlucky, so much trouble with men in such a short time.
Now she meets you, lovely young man, young being the main word.
She is afraid that because of your youth and her previous experiences it will not last, and she will be hurt again.
Give it time, she also has a child to consider, when she is sure you are going to stick around, through ups and downs, her trust will grow.
However you are very young, be sure this ready made family is what you want, otherwise you could be heading to hurt her again.
Hope it all works out , slow down give it time, for both of you, !!!

Answer 5

well, the first problem, is its 3 months man. Calm Down. 3 months is hard to trust anyone these days. Take it slow, really slow. Give her NO, I mean NO hence of untrust don't lie to her, and tell her how you feel. Take things really slow. She might not want to move things ahead, of fear of getting her heart broke, and beware of the whole rebound thing as well.

My advice to you, is take things slow. Also to get her to trust you, let her cry on your shoulder,and what i mean by that, go in depth, if she is willing about those guys, find out every little detail, ask lots of questions, don't be annoying. Find out what scars are on her heart, you will know what she is really like, and she will trust you because you are listening to her, and letting her talk things out.

Answer 6

I've been through a few hurtful relationships and it has made me a bit reluctant to trust the next man that comes along. but you learn to trust people. my boyfriend told me not to tar him with the same brush as the other men that have hurt me as that isn't his intention, all he wants to do is love me and look after me. it took a while for me to believe this and to trust him, but now i do I'm so much happier.

I guess you need to make her understand that not everyones out to hurt her, that there are caring people out there. earn your trust then she will be so grateful that she gave you the chance. be sure not to upset her though as it will only re-affirm her thoughts that every man is the same. luckily some women know this.

So long as she knows you only want to care for her and love her then she can start to try and forget the bad things that have happened to her.

Good Luck :-)

Answer 7

Dude. You're in for a world of hurt. This girl will be nothing but trouble. If you've got the balls to take all that on. You are a fecking HERO. I take my hat off to you.
There's no advice I can give other than to keep on loving her. She will either learn to love and trust you back, or crack you like an egg.
Good luck, the world needs more HERO's.

Answer 8

Wrap your arms around her hold her tight tell her you love her and that you'll never hurt her.

Be patient you know and understand the hurt she has felt so you know she finds it hard.

Trust honesty and respect are the foundations of a long lasting relationship. If there is anything she wants to tell you she will do it in her own time be patient and don't pressure her.

Answer 9

Unhealthy people like her don't make healthy relationships. She needs to take responsibility for her bad choices in men and probably get some therapy to "recover" from the mess she's made of her life. It's not the w-ker's who'd ruined her life-- she picked them, she dated or married them, she chose to make a baby with one. Looks like she's pretty good at playing the victim though.
I really don't know why a 21 year old guy would think it was his repsonsibility or his place to jump in here and "rescue" a grown woman.
By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworhty, immature etc.). you think your love will save/transform her. It won't. SHE needs to take responsibility for the troubled past she herself helped to create before she can be a healthy, strong woman.

Answer 10

the best thing she could do is to move away from where she live just now and start a new life and if she wants you to go with her there she does really want to trust you but she needs to move away from her pass and start a new life then things will get better for both you and her