My wife and I have been together for 12years now. Sex hasn't always been great. Alot of times it was painful for her. I've always wanted to please her and for her to enjoy every moment of it between us. Just recently we've experimented with another woman being involved and she loves the touch of women. She's always been attracted to women. She still wants to enjoy sex with me but alot of the time she can not relax when we are together. I need some suggestions from other women who enjoy women but also want to enjoy men as well. What would she like? What should I do to please her?
2006-10-12 09:26:37 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You don't need sex tips, although everyone seems more than happy to give them. You made an important statement and it was overlooked - "alot of times it was painful for her". After 12 years she may just be associating being with a man as painful. She needs to see a good doc and find out why normal sexual intercourse is painful for her. She probably has a physical condition that can be treated. Her inability to relax with you and her preference for women (suggesting she feels safer) may also indicate some form of sexual abuse in her past, maybe even her childhood. You two need real help here and not dumb suggestions like threesomes.
2006-10-12 09:59:35 · answer #1 · answered by Debra D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you've got to make her relax. You are going to have to dedicate the time to massage her back, feet, etc. Play some relaxing tunes. But you have got to find a way to make her relax. Might be a good idea to ask her what makes her so tense.
Do eat her out for a long time before sex. Use a lot of lube and go slow, slow. Let her set the pace.
If she likes the girl/girl fantasyt thing, whisper things in her ear about how you would like to see her and some girl do, blah blah blah together.
2006-10-12 16:42:16 · answer #2 · answered by Two Spirited 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Apart from all the obvious answers, your question makes me wonder why sex should be painful for her.
Unless there is some physical reason, which I'm sure her gynecologist would have informed her about,
it could be that she suffers from a relatively common condition known as vaginitis, which is doctor speak for vaginal cramping. Cognitive behavioural therapy and an understanding sex therapist would probably help.
I am glad you are understanding but there may also be deeper issues about her sexuality which you need to talk about together.
2006-10-12 16:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by Augusta B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her and talk to her, communication is key.
From what i read in your question I think your wife suffer from some kind of vaginitis (vagina cramping), go to a gynecologist to rule out any physical dysfunction, and then go to a therapist, the stress comes from her mind. I think she loves you and vice versa so the odds of being together are high, try to be gentle with her, be aware of her needs, use oral sex, manual stimulation, explore her body and let her explore yours, don't rush, and please, please don't **** her immediately, intimacy is more important than sex itself... be patient, and if you like a menage a trois, then you're lucky, but always think of her like a queen. Good luck!!! ;)
2006-10-12 17:56:52 · answer #4 · answered by apernett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oral sex until she orgasms and then after the after glow get her stimulated again and oral a little more when she is about to orgasm again have regular sex. If she doesn't orgasm a second time either go down on her again or finish her with your fingers and hand.
I can understand if you would be hesitant to go down on her after sex but it is really great for the woman and you get used to it.
I am bisexual and have no problem with it because I don't mind man stuff. LOL
But you should not have a problem with it I mean it is your own stuff.
2006-10-12 16:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by ♂ Randy W. ♂ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wish that I could be more help. When I was married I could not stand sex with my husband. It was horrible and all I could do was "find a happy place" and pray it would be over soon. NO...I was not molested or abused as a child. I just could not bond with this man in that way. If you and your wife love each other then you will be able to work through this.
2006-10-12 16:36:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Way to go, good man! Go screw your wife and her friend. Thats being fair to you. Thank the universe that its a gal. If not you;d be sharing your wife with another man. And if you do a 3some on that, you'd be Bisexual!
2006-10-13 15:32:40 · answer #7 · answered by Enigmasam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it mostly a penatration issue, so work on your cunalingus skills and learning how to be more soft like a woman. Wantch how the other women do her and copy that.
2006-10-12 17:18:59 · answer #8 · answered by Tony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm not bi-sexual, but I can pretty much guess. Oral sex buddy. You need to give her oral sex to the point that she orgasms from it. And if you're not sure where the magic button is, it is at the very top where the clitoris is. There's lots of free porn sites. But oral sex is definitely the answar.
2006-10-12 16:29:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow...can i get you to talk to my bf for me?? lol....i love him to death...but i'm also very attracted to women as well...haven't experienced being with one yet...though the desire is very strong for me...but anyway- i agree with the other women...if it seems painful to her...oral would be a good way for her to get pleased by you. But then i guess she would have to do oral for you as well? hope you don't get the raw end of the deal here..lol just be gentle with her as well...sex is soemthing to be enjoyed....i love being with my man..he pleases me in every way...except...he doesn't have a women body...lol...his body is great though for a man...just i want to feel the softness of breasts..other then my own...good luck! it's great you are so understanding:)
2006-10-12 16:35:39 · answer #10 · answered by tigerlily 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋