Should i contact my dad?

Question

My mum keeps going on at me to get in contact with my dad. Im 15 and the last time i saw him was when i was 4 and i think 11 years is a long time, and he has never bothered to come and find me. But at the moment i think about him a lot because i cant remember him. Sometimes i feel like i do want to see him but im scared that he dont want to see me and im scared ill get hurt. Plz help i dont know what to do??

Answer 1

Do what you feel. If you miss him contact him.

Answer 2

It is a hard situation you are in. You need to aware that he may not be the greatest father in the world. He may not come to you with open arms. Your father could be afraid too of you rejecting him.You have to prepare for all the outcomes as not to have high expectations which can lead to disappointments,

If I were you, I'd take that chance. You don;t want to be 30 wondering what would have happened, what could have happened. Life is very short and can be taken from you at any moment. Be the bigger person and take a small step forward.

I would ask your mother to contact him and arrange a meeting between the two of you.

Don't let the opportunity pass you by. I hope it all works out for you. be strong and know no matter what happens, you will have a wonderful life with or without him.

Answer 3

From the heart of someone 43. My dad and I were very close when I was growing up, you know the dad, son stuff, camping, fishing, that sorta thing. We grew up on a farm so we spent hours and days together working side by side. I went off to college dad sold the farm. I came home after college still close to my dad.

Then 12 years ago my dad had an affair she ended up pregnant and I have an 11 yr old brother. I refused to forgive my dad for this I was the youngest son. We hardly spoke in 11 plus years. I would go visit with my mom whom never left him, and ignore him and did the same.

Last Monday my dad had massive stroke left him paralyzed on his left side and very limited memory, speech. The only thing I wish is I hadn't wasted 11 yrs or let him.
You will be glad you at least tried to have a relationship with him if he doesn't want one with you then so be it by for yourself at least try it.
You never know your best friend could be waiting for you to make the first move. He probably has as much guilt as person can handle for what happened 11 yrs ago. Give it a chance.
Good Luck

Answer 4

My questions to you are....why is your mum so adamant about contacting him after all this time? Sounds as though she might have an agenda all her own. And...why hasn't HE contacted YOU?

My answer to you is....NO...not until you have a lot more information. Ask your mum the above questions and plead with her to give you honest and complete answers.

Then, if you still want to contact him, do it through your mum and not on your own. I'm sorry you have to go through this. Parents should act more responsibly. It isn't your fault that your parents are not together and it certainly isn't your responsibility to initiate contact with your father. You're the child here, they're the adults. These are not issues you should have to deal with!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

I am not sure that we are the correct ones to answer this for you, I think you need to look deep in your heart for the answer that is right for you. Don't get your hopes up if you do, you may be in for a big disappointment. Keep and open mind and heart if you chose to do this, you may also want to wait a few years until you are a bit older, not that you are not mature yet, but a few more years might give you a bit more of a clearer picture of what to expect. Good Luck. Let us know what you decide

Answer 6

Be thankful that your mom is wanting you to do this. She will help you through this.

My mom was hurt so badly by my dad that she could never bring herself to find him. I am 33 and I have never met my father. Go for it before too many years go by and you regret not doing it when you had the chance. I think it is too late for me now. I have a happy life, but sometimes wish I'd pursued meeting him.

It may be hard, but remember you have your mom to help you get through this. You may very well be disappointed, but if the curiousity outweighs the risk for you, then do it.

Answer 7

What's the worst that can happen? Are you afraid you might suffer rejection after all this time? Just look him up and show him you're cool, maybe he'll open up and give you the answers to all those questions you didn't ask. He's not 15, you are...he'll know you're concerned with all those things and will want to let you know the way it has been for him.

Answer 8

Well, do whatever makes you feel best.
But, I'm 15 too and my dad never calls me or anything and we live 5 minutes from each other.
isn't that pathetic?
So, i get hurt thinking about how he makes our relationship suck because it is all his fault and he has failed as a parent.
So, I wish i could just forget him and I wish we would have never seen each other.
The last time we saw each other was May and I;m not planning on seeing him again for a long time, if ever.
Good luck with your situation.

Answer 9

You will never know how good or bad is to contact your dad if you don't do it. I say, contact him. If you get positive results out of this you will have something to cherish for the rest of your life. I you get a bad experience, at least you know you tried and will never regret the fact that you didn't. Life is about living and learning. You have nothing to loose.

Answer 10

I think you should give it a try....life is too short. Try not to make assumptions on why he did what he did. There could be a very genuine reason. If you don't allow him to explain you will never know what you could have had. You have the opportunity to have a Dad...many people don't. Take the opportunity!

Answer 11

Contact your dad if YOU want to, not because your mom wants you to. If he has never bothered to contact you, he may not want to see you. But if you want to, at least try to contact him once. If you don't get any response, then just let it go because you are probably better off without him.