I have an ex boyfriend who I was very much in love with...he drank alot while we were together and I ended up leaving him....Now 8 years later (we've remained friends) he has been sober for 18 months. Problem is I've been with someone else for about 7 years now...I love the guy for 7 years but not too sure Im in love with him. However, I know Im still inl love with the recoverd alcoholic. Not sure if I should tell him or not...I have told him I love him...but not how strong my feelings are for him...we hang out all the time...I helped him choose his new furniture and everything...but he hasn't ever said that he still loves me. I'd give anything if I would have waited and not left him. What do you think I should do?
2006-10-12 09:17:01 · 11 answers · asked by hotsavannah21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We only get one, two if we're lucky, shots at true love. Ask yourself this: would you rather come forward now and tell him that you love him or when its a year later and he has moved on with someone else with you asking yourself what if? Personally I would take my chances and tell him how I truly feel. Nothing beats a failure but a try. Good luck sweetie, I've got my fingers crossed for you.
2006-10-12 11:22:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh wow that is very tough...usually when dealing with addiction they are trying to help themselves before getting close to anyone...so that might be one of the reasons he hasnt told you anything and well maybe the fact that he knows you have been in a 7 year relationship and is trying to be respectful. An 8 year span is a long time try to re-evaluate the reasons for being in love with him and make sure that you are not in love with the person you were with 8 years ago. I am sure your ex still cares for you a lot and loves you because if not i dont think he would be around. good luck and just think things through!
2006-10-12 16:21:22 · answer #2 · answered by yeilyj 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should stop wasting your life with both men!
Take some time out and really think about what you want because you obviously dont know. I think the only reason your having these feelings for your ex is because your still talking to him and your starting to have those same feeling, its really common but its not enough to start another relationship.
You've wasted 7 years of your life with your current boyfriend because as you said your not in love with him. So, theres nothing good that can possibly come out of that.
2006-10-12 16:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, if I were in the same situation, I would just move on. But, if you really do love this guy, my advice to you would be to give it some more time. He may have been sober for 18 months, but you never know what's going to happen. He could eventually get stuck in the same situation again. But seeing as how I do not know him in person, I can't really tell you how to go about telling him how strongly you feel about him besides being straight with him.
2006-10-12 16:22:50 · answer #4 · answered by Me 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't continue dating Mr 7 Years if you're hoping to get something going with Mr. Sober. It's not fair to hang around Mr. Sober and hope for something, then fall back on Mr. 7 Years if Sober isn't interested. One shouldn't have anything to do with the other. If you'd rather spend your time hanging out with another man, picking out furniture, and having loving feelings towards him, you need to end it with Mr 7 Years.
2006-10-12 16:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should not act on anything else for a while, distance yourself from current man your with now and take some time to yourself and think about it, make no rash decisions. Let exholic know that you are distancing yourself from current man for some alone time and he will contact you if he still has it for you. Once you have acquired that info then you can start making a decision. Good luck.
2006-10-12 16:23:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
THINK OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT THE GUY YOU'VE BEEN WITH FOR 7 YEARS. HE HAS TO HAVE SOME POSITIVE THING GOING ON FOR HIM HE LOVES YOU. THE DRUNK HAS CYCLES IN LIFE WHILE HE WAS DRINKING HE WOULD BE ALL IN LOVE ONE DAY AND ALL DRUNK THE NEXT DAY. I THINK YOUR IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA OF THE WAY THINKS USED TO BE. YOU CAN BE FRIENDS WITH THE EX-DRUNK AND BY HIM NOT ACKNOWLEDGING ANY FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU HE PROBABLY DOESN'T HAVE THE WARM FUZZY FEELING YOU HAVE FOR HIM FOR YOU. AS LIFE MOVES ON THE CHANGES SOMETIMES LEAVES YOU WONDERING WHAT IF, WHAT IF THE DRUNK NEVER SOBERED UP YOU'D STILL BE WAITING FOR HIM TO SOBER UP. THEN YOU'D BE MAD AND UPSET AND NOT IN LOVE ANYMORE. YOU MADE CHOICES THAT YOU FELT WERE IN YOUR BEST INTEREST AND PROBABLY HIS TOO. BY YOU LEAVING HE MAY HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SEE HOW HIS DRINKING IMPACTED OTHERS AND FINALLY NEEDED TO MAKE A CHANGE. SO GOOD FOR HIM BUT HOLD ONTO YOUR LIFE DON'T MAKE ANY RUSHED CHOICES. SEE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP YOU'VE BEEN IN FOR SEVEN YEARS. FOCUS ON YOU FIND OUT IF YOU LOVE HIM AND MOVE ON FROM THERE. OVER TIME WE TEND TO LOOSE OUR ENTHUSIASM FOR WHAT WE HAVE DAILY AND YOU MAY JUST TAKE YOUR GOOD STABLE GUY FOR GRANTED AND WANT THE BAD GUY SO WEIGH YOUR CHOICES AND THINK ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS.
2006-10-12 16:40:55 · answer #7 · answered by chayrrah 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to be true to yourself and everyone involved!! Tell everyone how you feel about them and it will all work out the way it is supposed to!! I think you should go back with the one you truly love!!
2006-10-12 16:20:24 · answer #8 · answered by Heather 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well both seem like okay peopel so just tell the recovered alcoholic that u love him and ask him for his opinion on the sppt.
2006-10-12 16:20:05 · answer #9 · answered by blah 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoa that's complicated... I don't really know I think that Yahoo! anwsers people can not anwser this. You need to decide.
2006-10-12 16:18:57 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Ava ♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋