currently work a full time job, but it interfers with my idea of what it taks to be a good mom. Plus, this job could take me away from my family for months at a time. I started this job before I had my daughter. Unfortunately, I don't have the option of just quiting...so, since my husband and I want more kids anyway, we've started TTC (Trying to conceive) so that I will be able to "quit" my job. It's kind of a weird situation, but please just accept that I really am in an odd situation.
It's going to be a struggle, but we'll have the support of our families while we make the transition and my husband will be able to work a job he'll actually like. Unfortunately, my job has been priority and he's kind of had to work around me. I like my job but, after almost 2 years of supporting the family, It's only fair to give my husband a chance to take over. He wants to.
I asked this in TTC, but I wanted to post it elsewhere to get a broader audience for more advice.
2006-10-12 09:12:44 · 3 answers · asked by Laura R 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Let me clarify a little, I'm in the military. That's why quitting isn't an option. Because of some deep personal and spiritual beliefs, this is interfering with my role as a mother/wife...I'm not old fashioned or anything...This is just my belief.
I didnt realize the affects this would have on my home life because I wasn't a mom when I joined.
2006-10-12 09:28:39 · update #1
Sounds like you're in the military. I don't know anything about that kind of life, but I do know about the struggle choosing between providing for the family financially and "being there" for them. I personally think your priorities are exactly right, and since you and your husband agree, that ought to settle it for everyone else.
A small story: My husband and I were in agreement that his career would be the one we'd count on to support the family, and when we started having children, we both thought the child raising should be the priority for me. Well, our friends and family continually sneered at our choice, so finally he left and married a woman who seemed to have a more money-making career and moved to where the job opportunities were better for her. He was still looking for work when he and our son died in a car wreck. At the funeral, it was amazing to see the hysteria of people who had regrets. . You are right: As a woman, loving your children means being there for them. Loving your man means letting him be the big provider / defender if he possibly can. Let the rest of the world scream and cry. You and your little family go on and live your life of love.
2006-10-12 09:48:46 · answer #1 · answered by shirleykins 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. Don't do it. Women are always being made to feel guilty for having a career and wanting to hold on to it. And there shouldn't be any "taking over". You are both adults and you both need to control the family. No one should have authority in what is supposed to be an equal relationship. You can have kids AND have a career. I don't see anyone telling men to give up their careers for their families.
2006-10-12 09:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit now. Don't wait until you conceive, you have a daughter now, and she needs you. If you have already decided that what you are doing is not your idea of what it takes to be a good Mom, you need to a Mom, for you daughter and your piece of mind.
2006-10-12 09:22:28 · answer #3 · answered by John R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋