Some women I know don't cook or clean because their husband will do it for them. I'm not talking about marriages where both partners work. I'm talking about marriages where one is at home (not working) and the other is at work. I've noticed people say "My husband is caring and cleans after work." Isn't that taking advantage of a person? Why would someone want to make their significant other spend a full day at work and then have to clean up afterward? Isn't it the partner (wife or husband) who stays at home responsibility to take care of housework when they aren’t sick or have another legitimate reason not to?
2006-10-12 09:03:29 · 39 answers · asked by .vato. 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am a stay at home mom. If my husband was a stay at home dad I would expect him to do the same things.
The question is not about working parents. That would be an equal partnership and they would share household responsibilities.
2006-10-12 09:09:29 · update #1
Absolutely not. I think this makes for a happy family. Not knocking working women by all means, they have my respect. But a mom or dad staying home to tend family business makes a happy home. Give stay at home moms the respect they deserve. It is by far not an easy job.
2006-10-12 09:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by wudbiser 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am a military wife and I have health problems that pervent me form working outside the home. So I have two work at home businesses one is Ebay and the other is with a wellness company. My husband usually is away Monday-Friday at the military base three weeks a month and home on the weekends. So not much to clean up anyways. He knows I work hard and I know so does he so weekends I take care of him completely, meals, cleaning, I pay all the bills and take care of any information that needs to be taken care of. All lose ends I do. That one week a month he is home not working, but I still work he helps me by cooking from time to time and doing the dishes and laundry. It's all very well balanced to me, but my best friend right now has no kids is not working doesn't even clean or takes care of the finances, and it just bothers me. I think also depending on how many kids you have you may have a very trying day so it's okay to ask for help but always it should be 50/50.
2006-10-13 14:49:09 · answer #2 · answered by missy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am also a stay at home mom, and my husband works full time. I do the entire load of housework from laundry and dishes, to mowing the lawn. I do EVERYTHING. I do resent him sometimes for it though. However, my sister works full time, as well as her husband, and he does everything around their house. She does nothing. I don't know how it works out in their marriage, but it just doesn't seem fair to me. I feel she takes advantage of him. They do both work, so it doesn't really answer your question...but house work should be a 50 /50 thing if both work, or a 85/ 15 thing if one works. That is from my own experience...otherwise, I think there is some manipulation going on.
2006-10-12 17:08:17 · answer #3 · answered by the_proms 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is all subjective. It also depends on both the husband and the wifes character. The more manipulative one will take advantage, but in general, that is not the case. Most stay at home wives are very level headed about what their duties as a wife are and don't try to be above their partner, they try and show that they are equal. I salute them for their struggle and determination if any have proven that men can't go it alone.
2006-10-16 04:52:45 · answer #4 · answered by Too Young To Know 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok well let me put it this way if you are not cleaning and cooking and you dont work what the hell are do except waisting time i mean why should someone who spends all day working and is tired do everything no matter who works the man or the woman no one should have to work and main tain the house while the other does nothing that is not a partnership and besides if the stay at home mom doesnt do any of that what does she do ?
2006-10-12 09:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by LiL mAmMa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a housewife and I WORK.
My job is to keep everything at home organized, clean etc. I run errands, budget, repair things, shop for all household supplies and prepare all meals. This is so that my husband can come home from work to a nice home and relax. (his job is very stressful).
I think that either partner who chooses (for whatever reason) to stay home is responsible for the house work.
However, if there are children in the house who are pre-school I think that the spouse who works outside of the home should help out sometimes. It takes two to raise children.
2006-10-12 09:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by cat person 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a stay at home mom. No I don't think it's taking advantage. We have 2 small children. My husband helps me out whenever I need it. My job is 24/7. I don't get a vacation. I don't get weekends off, I don't get holidays off (if anything more is added during holiday season). I don't get sick days, or workers comp if I hurt myself here. My husband works hard, don't get me wrong, but so do I and this is his house too. I do what I can during the day, but sometimes I get burned out. I don't think it's asking too much for help with dinner, or help put laundry away.
To all the people that work. Don't forget your kids are at daycare or school while you are working. I used to work outside of the home 6 days a week 10 hrs a day and I still did the cooking and laundry and crap, I've both sides of this. When I picked them up from daycare there was only 3-4 hours a day that I had 2 little people hanging on me. Now it's 14-16 hours a day. Now that I'm home, nobody helps me with my kids all day. It is exhausting day in and day out. I don't just hang around the house all day, I take them to the park to play, we do projects, I take them to neighbors to play with friends, we go to the library for story time, we go for walks in the neighborhood, they ride their bikes around the neighborhood too, we run errands. "Stay at home" moms generally, don't stay at home all day the way some people think. Don't get me wrong, I love that I can stay with them now, but until you've walked a mile in my shoes with my kids, you have no right to judge how my family works.
2006-10-12 09:29:25 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's supposed to work that way. Yes I think the stay at home partner should be responsible for taking care of the home. Do the cooking,cleaning and grocery store etc.
If you both work then the responsibilities should be equally shared.
2006-10-12 09:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people are work aholics, they love it. Some couples have there own arrangements for sharing the load. Some people though do seem to take advantage, as you well said. Although if such a person were to find themselves alone, ie single. Then heaven help them, as they would be pretty bad at most everyday things. A bit of everything, surely thts the way to go.
2006-10-12 09:11:47 · answer #9 · answered by Nick n his Dog 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My wife is a stay at home mom. She wanted to be and I could afford to take care of the bills so we did it. She is pretty good and I help but for the most part she manages the home. We both are very involved with the kids and I think they do benefit from this arrangement.
2006-10-12 09:07:55 · answer #10 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋