are they right to say shes using me?

Question

i'm 15 and i really like this girl as a friend nothing else and for some reason i do everything to keep her happy and i just want to be her friend. this weekend i'm spending nearly £200 on a birthday party for her and i would only ever do this for her. i want her to be my best friend and so thats why i do this. i really love her but everyone else seems to think shes taking me for a ride and she knows this. in the past we hav had big arguments but we never row now we occasionally talk but not that much. i still want to be her best friend whatever happens i just dont know how to do it without her taking advantage of me like my friends say...but also today my teacher commented on it....what do i do next? i honestly love her and want the best for her

Answer 1

Ask yourself does she feel the same about you? Money cant buy you love/friends please becareful and try to spend time with other friend and family equally. Take care x

Answer 2

Honey she's not you real friend, real friends don't cost you a penny, you can't buy friendship if it has to be bought it ain't worth having. Your real friends are the ones telling you to watch your back.

Where have you got this £200 from and why are your parents allowing you to spend so much money on this girl?

You need to sit down alone and work out what is making you feel so insecure that you feel you need this girl as a friend. A genuine friend would not use you and allow you to spend such crazy amouts of money on them

It sounds like you have lost your way and become obsesive about her. If you behaviour was normal your other friends and teacher would not make comment and I think that the fact that they have made comment makes this behaviour out of character for you.

At 15 been best friends with somebody cool and pretty and smart is kind of top of your list. I am now 24 and out of all my friends Through all my schooling I have kept in touch with Rachael who was at my middle school but we moved to different High Schools in year 8 and Catherine and Nadine who I met in college. I didn't even hang about or get on with Catherine for my 1 year of college it was the 2nd year we bacame friends.

Sadly it is quite rare to maintain contact and stay friends with people you meet at school as you tend to go your seperate ways or grow out of each other. Right now you don't see this you see yourself and your "best mate" beign your bridesmaid and your toddlers playing together when you grow up but this is not usually the case.

As you mature all those girls at school who you see in bars and pubs 2 or 3 years after you have left are never really as cool as you imagined as you have usually found who you are and realised you are great and don't need a "best mate" who uses you and takes advantage!

I don't want to get too personal when lots of people can read this so if you wanna chat drop me a line my names Sarah [e-mail]

Answer 3

your only 15 and spending £200..crikey,I'm 44 and not got that much money to waste on a so-called friends birthday party..It's clear to everyone except you,that this girl is not a real friend,she is taking advantage of your good nature..let some other mug pay for the party,,and then see if you get an invite..

Answer 4

you may want the best for her and she may well be a good friend but £200 is a lot of money to be spending on a friend. You should take money out of the situation and try not spending on her. See what happens

Answer 5

I remember a teacher trying to tell me when I was around your age that the girlfriend I called my 'best friend' was a loser. She actually said....this girl would never go anywhere and would just hold me back. I ignored her and later regretted it. Sometimes teachers can be objective third parties that are trying to help us see what we cannot see for ourselves. A 'best friend' relationship should be easier than what you've described. Love her from a distance...make other friends...and give it some time.

Answer 6

First of all, you're 15.

You shouldn't be spending £200 odd on some other girl's b-day party.

I think you are being taken for a ride.

If you love her and want the best for her, tell her to pay for the party herself. And make a stand.

If you love someone, you're honest.

Answer 7

Be open and honest and try to talk it out, sounds like she is using you. Make it clear that you care for her as a friend, but don't want to be taken advantage of. Then if that doesn't work you have to choose to stay and be used, to stay and try to avoid being used (don't pay or do stuff for her just to keep her as a friend, if you have to she is not a real friend), or to let her go and move on to new friends.

Answer 8

you said it yourself, that you are spending £200 on her birthday party, and "I want her to be my best friend."

'Best Friends' do not 'need to try to BUY the >friendship< of another.'

Sometimes, those on the outside can see better of what's going on there on the inside. A different perspective offers a different view.

Best of luck.
Sash,.

Answer 9

read exactly what you have written

1 - you really like this girl
2 - you would do everything to keep her happy
3 - you would only ever spend this money on her (friends are meant to be equal)
4 - then you say u really love her (twice)

what do you think - i would ask her to read this and let her judge. you never know she might like you for more than a friend. i know i would and thats without the money

Answer 10

"i want her to be my best friend and so thats why i do this."

Kinda says it all. You're trying to buy her friendship. She's letting you. So yes, she is using you. Want proof? Say no sometime and see what happens. You know what they say. A fool and their money are soon parted. And your soon to part with 200.