What would you do if your job were an issue 2?

Question

I currently work a full time job, but it interfers with my idea of what it taks to be a good mom. Plus, this job could take me away from my family for months at a time. I started this job before I had my daughter. Unfortunately, I don't have the option of just quiting...so, since my husband and I want more kids anyway, we've started TTC (Trying to conceive) so that I will be able to "quit" my job. It's kind of a weird situation, but please just accept that I really am in an odd situation.

It's going to be a struggle, but we'll have the support of our families while we make the transition and my husband will be able to work a job he'll actually like. Unfortunately, my job has been priority and he's kind of had to work around me. I like my job but, after almost 2 years of supporting the family, It's only fair to give my husband a chance to take over. He wants to.

I asked this in TTC, but I wanted to post it elsewhere to get a broader audience for more advice.

I'm in the military...

To those of you who think that everyone who is a parent has the same experience.
How would you do...mom of two kids who's HUSBAND has served in iraq twice (God bless his soul...) what would you do if it was YOU in Iraq!!?? Women now-a-days don't realize the role they play in the home! Just as you would tell a woman who isn't married, or a teenager to wait to have a family, if you're willing to have a daycare center raise your child, you have no pride in being a mom and should either wait until you have matured or until you grow up!
I'm not looking for an "easy way" out, or a "hardship". I'm trying to do what's best for my family. We want more kids, and right now, I'm missing out on the most important phase in my child's life.
Children raised at home vs. a daycare center, are less likely to have behavioral issues. They bond better with the parent...
I have enjoyed my time in the military and am proud to haved served my country for the past 1 1/2. But if we don't start

fixing the issues in the home first, then we are wasting our time elsewhere!
I am a professional, but first and foremost before anything else, I am a wife and mom! And anything that interferes needs to be remedied.

To any LDS moms out there...I hope you don't have to go through what I've been going through...It takes some live'n learn situations before we can really begin to appreciate our role as mothers.

There is a difference. Unfortunately, it would take a very long time to explain it all. Basically, mothers are, by nature the nuturing parent, a dad may be loving etc. but it is not the same.
Are you in the military now?
Why would you give up the time you have with your children? For more money? The time we have is so precious...why give it up?

All I'm trying to say is that this life isn't for everyone. Hey, if it works for you, more power to ya'll.

Answer 1

Okay...well you can't have it both ways no matter what excuse you put on it. It's an either or solution. You choose.

Answer 2

Wow. You can't wait out your enlistment? Just wait the fricken two or three years or whatever instead of taking a "hardship discharge" It's called birth control. You signed on the dotted line...THOUSANDS of military families deal with this every day. I know a single mother in the Marines who's doing a fine job, and has been deployed.. But now you want to get out, because it interferes with your idea of what being a good mom is. I'm guessing it's more likely you're just looking for a way out of the military, and Baby is it.

I have to edit down here, because I can't figure out how to do it any other way.
If I were in Iraq...We're actually discussing that in the future (although it may not be Iraq by then). He already has 8.5 years in, and will retire at 20 or so. At that point, we are discussing me entering the service, going into OCS, etc. to support the family. We may have another child between now and then, and he will be the one to stay home with that child, or our now only one.
If one parent is home, what's the difference?

I'm not in the military now. Before we got married, my husband and I decided that 1) one of us would stay home with the children and 2) we wouldn't have children until that could be a reality.
Before I became pregnant, I was an elementary school teacher. My husband is a 13F in the Army. When my husband became an E-6, we started ttc. We conceived the weekend after he put on his rockers. I stopped working when I was put on bedrest at 32 weeks. Right now, I work part time at a job (nannying) to which I take the baby. I agree that, when possible, it is beneficial for the child to have a parent at home, especially during the early years. I don't think I'd be able to leave my baby at a day care center. However, I honestly don't see a difference between whether it's me or my husband home with the baby. Of course my husband is the one who continued working - he did back to back reenlistments in 2004 and 2005, so his ETS isn't until 2011. Regardless, his job brings in more money (about twice as much as my teaching job), as well as the health benefits, life insurance, etc. God forbid something happened to him or even both of us, with him being in the military, we at least know our child will be taken care of financially. It's not nice to think about, but it's reality. My job didn't offer those benefits. However, once he retires, he will draw a pension, probably some VA disability for his combat injuries (IED blast - ruptured discs, tbi, nerve damage), very low-cost health benefits...and this will free us up so that I can continue (or begin, I suppose) my career without compromising (too much) our safety net. My husband would love to be home with our child...he's stated that much, but, obviously, he has made a commitment to the nation, and, quite frankly, our family's well-being, and can't just quit at this point. Heck, he's looking forward to the day I go back to work outside the house and HE gets to stay home with our child or children. Why would I deny him that joy if we can make it possible?

Answer 3

I remember you asking before.

I dont really know what to say, i cant imagine a situation that would be so complex that i couldnt get out of it for the sake of my family. I always wanted kids and wanted to be a mom so i just never set myself up to be that committed to any institution or company.

I guess just hang in there and get through it.