Last Friday was our 16th Wedding Anniversary. It was a busy day so clearly we would not be 'doing' anything on that day. However not a single word of acknowledgement in any form, not even a hug or 'I love you', nothing. I patiently waited, then left him a note of acknowledgement to 'our' day. Next morning, first thing out of his month is a complaint of self, then things for the day, finally cause I wasn't responding it was...oh happy anniversary. We had a very busy weekend, so I left it at that and waited till Monday evening to address it. Which also gave him an opportunity to make up for it (he had windows of time to of done 'something') - still nothing. So Monday, I address it, and stated that our marriage is of priority and that I was hurt he didn't have it in his heart to acknowledge it. His response was that I was over reacting and was providing the usually excuses. This isn't the first time. So, he's on the floor and is pissed at me! What should of I had done??
2006-10-12 08:37:42 · 13 answers · asked by carenffb 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He had already asked me for a second chance due to an affair. I was hoping he would back up his claim of priorty to our marriage and love for me. He claims since then that I'm impossible to please. It's my heart and soul that he is not addressing. The house looks great, the kids are getting attention, he is finally working full time.
2006-10-12 09:18:56 · update #1
Leave his un sensitive *** on the floor
2006-10-12 08:51:25 · answer #1 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and he put different levels of importance on special dates. My wife and I have the same problem sometimes. To me, one day is as good as another, and growing up since my actual birthday sometimes falls on a major national holiday, I was used to arrange my "birthday" party sometimes up to a month in advance or late so that family and friends wouldn't confuse it or combine it with a holiday celebration. One year, due to family schedules, we "moved" my birthday ahead two weeks and the holiday celebration back two weeks. Is it any suprise that when my wife's birthday comes along, I feel comfortable as long as I get her a present and we do something some time within the month? The fist year we were married, I took the first weekend of the month she was born in as a long weekend, taking both Friday and Monday off work, and bought her a present then, since we were going to be busy arround her actual birthday which was toward the end of the month. I suprised her with the days off and present, and got chewed out for "forgetting" when her brithday was. Then when her actual brithday came, even though I'd already explained my reasons for doing things the way I did at the beginning of the month, she complained that I couldn't get time off "for her brithday." I work a little harder at getting it closer to her brithday now, but she has also come to realize how celebrating on the day can be a bad thing in my mind, since the same year she tried to do what I wanted for my brithday, and had to listen to me complain about the fact I missed out on a family holiday party.
I know your situation is different, but but every situation is different. Which is more important: your anniversary, or your marriage? He prob thinks he was doing things to help the marriage, and that the marriage is what is more important.
2006-10-12 16:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sad. And you put up with that for 16 years? The real question is WHY? There are so many men out there not like that. I've only been married 1 year and my husband buys my birthday and holiday presents sometimes 3 months in advance....so not every guy forgets. We've been together for 3 years and he has always been romantic and creative.
2006-10-12 15:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really hate to have to put it to you like this, but it sounds like he just may have someone else. Men who tend not to really care about important dates and try to make it seem like it's all your fault are usually doing so to take the heat off of himself and make you look like the bad person. Don't let him do that to you. I know that you love him or you wouldn't be asking this question. If he wants to sleep on the floor, let him. See how long he does this. Also try sexual advances and see what he does. If he doesn't respond, you may have a serious problem on your hands, but him forgetting you guys anniversary is unacceptable. Once he realized it, he should have tried to do something really special to show you just how sorry he was. To turn it on you was not fair at all.
2006-10-12 15:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by Mizz Peni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. If I were you, I would've not only told him how I feel but also curse him out.
If you meant anything to him, he would respect your anniversary and do something special for it. It doesn't take money to celebrate, it takes love.
A simple kiss, handwritten card, and a "happy anniversary" in a meaningful way would've been just enough.
You have a selfish man that doesn't care about your feelings and obviously doesn't think your anniversary is sentimental.
2006-10-12 15:41:20 · answer #5 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does the guy always have to be the first to say something? Why do women sit there, knowing its their anniversary, waiting for their husband to fail? Why didn't YOU surprise HIM?
When he started out complaining about the day, why didn't you say, "Happy Anniversary baby!" to cheer him up and get him out of his bad mood?
2006-10-12 16:48:34 · answer #6 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he really doesn't give a bleep of what you think. He almost sounds like he's giving up without even a fight to say why he didn't remember. And bascially he couldn't care less. Sorry to say but thats the vibes im getting from what i've read about the guy.
2006-10-13 02:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try going to counseling together or ih he won;t go with you then go to a therapist yourself. Find out what you REALLY WANT and then proceed accordingly. It's always possible that this relationship has run its course and is OVER!
2006-10-12 15:42:22 · answer #8 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just went through the same thing with my hubby and now I'm waiting to see what he does with my birthday . it's tomorrow.
2006-10-12 16:20:36 · answer #9 · answered by daretracek 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that day. You let your anger grow for three days thats your fault not his.
2006-10-12 15:43:47 · answer #10 · answered by FF Geek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋