Hello, Nobody knows from my friends, family, work department that I am gay; What shall I do? I have a co-worker which I like very much, but I have no idea if he's gay, so should I tell him? What if I risk and latter this to be known by everybody? How should I tell him?
2006-10-12 08:27:40 · 15 answers · asked by corolar b 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
OK, so I asked him for a beer out. He did accept. I still don't know what to think. He is somehow in the same situation as mine: at 22 he only had one girl for 3 months; he left her because she loved him and he didn't. He also told me that he had a crush only on one girl, but nothing else. What should I think? What should I ask him extra to know if he's gay?
2006-10-13 10:45:35 · update #1
If I were you, don't tell him you're gay because you don't know him well enough. If you like him, you have to build up a good friendship first and gain his trust. While doing that, you can find out if he likes women or not. If he doesn't give any signs, ask him if he has a girlfriend or if he likes another co-worker. If he said he has a girlfriend, then you better back off because it's not gonna go any futher than friendship. If he doesn't give you a direct anyswer, maybe he's hiding in the closet, or he doesn't trust you enough to talk about his personal life.
TIP: DO NOT FLIRT WITH HIM UNLESS YOU KNOW IF HE'S GAY OR BI. I flirted with this guy in my class because I think he's gay but I was wrong and he got really creeped out (OOPS!).
2006-10-12 18:40:09 · answer #1 · answered by jan b 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should observe him for a while, and if he is gay, I'm sure that you would be able to tell. listen up to see if he is talking about girlfriends etc.i wish you well. and even if this one doesn't work out, there are so many other men that will please you, i'm sure. just look. and, one more thing. i think the sooner you break the news to your family, the better. i'm not a lesbian, but i can imagine coming out of the closet is going to be a toughie. but it's best they know. and of course, if they truly care for you and love you, they'll deal with the situation without making you feel uncomfortable. all the best to you
2006-10-12 08:36:16 · answer #2 · answered by abstract 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with LaxAngel. Get to know him first, that way you can get an idea of whether he is at least gay friendly, if not gay himself. After you know that, you can go forward.
2006-10-12 08:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by WEIRDRELATIVES 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give it a little time and get to know that co worker a little better. and if you think you guys are getting to know each other well maybe talk to your co worker about how you feel. i understand this can be a difficult thing, good luck!
2006-10-12 08:29:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lax Angel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not a good idea to form relations at work.
If it does not work out then there will be har feelings and you wont be able to work together. One of you will end up leaving and hurt.
If it works out--great!
2006-10-12 08:30:25 · answer #5 · answered by god knows and sees else Yahoo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never date someone you work with...what happens if he is gay, you date and don't like each other. Or there is a bad breakup...will you be able to work together?
2006-10-12 08:45:15 · answer #6 · answered by M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he's ever been to whatever a local gay bar is, that's not well known to straights.
2006-10-12 08:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well.. you can complicate the situation in either way. either it goes really well or it will be a diaster. generally speaking, it is a bad idea to make some moves to your co-work either is male or female.
2006-10-12 08:40:10 · answer #8 · answered by joe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really bad idea - enjoy the crush in silence. First - you are not out second it is workplace - third you don't know he is gay.
THREE STRIKES
2006-10-12 08:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can tell him you're gay and see how he reacts. If he tells you he is also gay then reveal your crush
2006-10-12 17:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋