Should I be gay?

Question

I know I like guys... but... I dont know if I should presue a gay life...
Isn't anal sex is bad for health (and increase the risk of having HIV)? And... is gay life involves a lot of smoking and drinking (and I dont smoke or drink...)? If I don't do these things, then it is hard to meet guys...
I dont know if I should change my lifestyle to meet guys...

Answer 1

I'm gay and don't smoke or drink.As far as anal stuff goes, not every gay man does that.It may be the most common sex act but there are all kinds of gay men.Ever hear of a g0y?Sounds like you might enjoy that lifestyle better.

Answer 2

You DON'T need to smoke, drink, do drugs or have anal sex to have a gay life, in fact, you don't need to be a gay to be a gay. Let me explain: being gay is only a small part of who we are so don't be hard on yourself, move on with your life as always you did, be yourself, I'm gay and I don't party often, I don't drink every weekend (in fact the last time I had drink was last halloween), and don't have a boyfriend, so it's not the end of the world, and I have some very good and interesting friends, gay and straight alike.

Peace!!

Answer 3

First, be alone for a least 6 months to figure out what you want in life. Not asking on a web site. And second, asking if you should be gay is like asking "Should I be a doctor, or cowboy, or a teacher?" Make sure that you are making the decision that is what you want. If you can only meet gay men in a bar, then you may be looking in the wrong place for the right person. I truely believe that not all gay men are in bars. Talk with friends and family and do what is right for you and not what you "think" you are. you are either gay or not. Simple. And the sexual risk are to be considered in either a homosexual or non-homosexual relationship. There has to be trust in both. good luck

Answer 4

Being gay doesn't mean you have to like the gay scene. There are plenty of gay/bi people who don't like the gay scene. All this means is that you simply need to look in different places.

You could try contacting a gay social group - look in the Gay Times, or contact the London Gay Switchboard for details on ones in your desired geographical location (despite being called the London switchboard, they do cover the whole of the UK). some gay social groups are generic, and others are related to hobbies e.g. art, bridge.

To meet genuine people online, the best place is OutEverywhere. Members are banned from posting pornographic pictures. Also, the emphasis on OutEverywhere is to meet friends (you can still meet that special person though). I don't recommend Gaydar as its the online version of the "gay life" you dislike.

HIV is a virus which is transmitted through certain bodily fluids. It passes from person to person through unsafe sex and certain activities involving needles etc.

Gay people are generally regarded as high risk because on average, gay people have a higher number of sexual partners than their straight counterparts - which increases the probability of having sex with an infected person. However, your real risk depends on your behaviour as an individual. A gay person who practices safe sex is much safer than a straight person who practices unsafe sex. So, on its own, being gay won't give you HIV - its having unsafe sex which does.

Answer 5

If you are only attracted to guys, then you're gay. That doesn't mean you have to persue this lifestyle that you think is gay. Humans all have in common that we work and eat and shop. You will find the best person, straight or gay, just by being yourself. As for HIV, it is spread by having multiple partners. If you meet a gay partner and he does not have AIDS, be faithful to each other and you will not get HIV.

Answer 6

It is a high probability that you are gay. In our area, we meet gays in coffee shops, new age stores, natural food stores, local book stores and local artist galleries/venues. Visit some of these place, look and listen, then join in once you feel comfortable. Also try the Unitarian Church. They are very open to the alternative lifestyle. You don't have to do anal, though it can be very satisfying once you try it. It can be scary at first, as always protect yourself, health wise. As I have said on this site many times, look for love. True love knows no gender.

Answer 7

What makes you think the gay life is like that?

You must research, and you must learn more. I know of many gay men that do not smoke or drink. I also know of gay men who do not have anal sex.

So you do not know what you want. I see you perceiving the gay life as that because that is how you were taught gay men were like.

There are even gay men, who do not even support gay rights.

I am trying to explain that you do not know what the life is like. Have you even stepped into any of our shoes?

I hope you can be helped. I am always here so if you need help, IM me.

Answer 8

I don't smoke, and I don't drink. Yet I'm a lesbian. I know lots of gays and lesbians who don't smoke or drink. What do those things have to do with being gay anyway??? Yes, anal sex is a risk increaser of HIV, but use protection and you'll be fine.

Answer 9

sweet heart!!! i think you are very confessed about Gay life it self, if you like guys and you are a guy then you're already Gay. some of my best friends are Gay. and they didn't just jump in and say should i be Gay, i think you know by now that you are and you are scared. Gay people are people to and they don't all Drink and smoke.

Answer 10

Travis there are many good answers to your question and I can only add that being gay is NOT a choise and as you get older and check into all the info. out there and inside you, you will have a better understanding of yourself and the gay lifestyle.
From the sounds of your question you are a young person-take your time and learn-you may just like these guys because they are cool.
Take your time and good luck.