He works at a College where there are women around constantly. He has cheated on me before with people that come to his job. at this one and other jobs. Any suggestions? on what I can do?
2006-10-12 07:59:15 · 21 answers · asked by Christian D 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If he's already cheated on you multiple times, then why in the world are you asking this? And why in HELL are you still with him? You're crazy. Obviously you've caught him before, so use one of your old tricks. You're stupid for letting him walk all over you like that. Divorce him or shut up about it! You're ridiculous!
2006-10-12 08:38:11 · answer #1 · answered by texas y'all! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fascinating. Sometimes I think that many of the answers are given by mere children with no real world experience. I have 20 years of experience in marital and couples counseling.
With that said, listen closely (read on)
Why do you have to catch him??? Your innate gut feeling is that he is cheating.
1. Is he paying much more attention to what he wears or how he looks?
2. Is he less OR much more attentive to you sexually?
3. Does he have a Cell phone that is always on OFF when he gets home?
4. Have you found RECEIPTS of strange places?
Whatever the reason. Here is the Answer: Confrontation. YOU are married to him. You must pick a time to ask. YOU must ask him. Wait until he is eating. talk non chalantly about something and then say.....Hon', forgive me, if I'm wrong, but If I'm right, be open and honest with me. Are you Cheating on me? or "are you having an affair"?
You must resolve to find out if YOU want to stay in this marriage, if He wants to stay in this marriage and whether or not this is just a fling (which is still immoral and wrong) or serious (in his mind).
Blessings'
2006-10-12 15:52:36 · answer #2 · answered by JudoMan77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Do you know he's cheated on you or do you THINK he's cheated on you?
2. Do you love and trust him or CAN you love and trust him?
There are a million ways to find out... but the struggle is within you- you will not find answers outside. You have to resolve your own emotions and talk to your husband. You cannot expect honesty from him, if you will be dishonest and snoop around for answers. I know that is easier said than done. But believe me- you will head down the path of misery if you snoop. The right thing to do is confront your husband and come up with a positive solution instead of already believing what you THINK is true.
2006-10-12 15:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, you will find out he's cheating... Then what? What would be the point? He had done it before, and you basically gave him a green light to do it over and over again by putting up with at and staying with him. If you're planning to stay with him anyway - what good would it do you to know for sure? (I think you already know, you're just hoping against hope it is not true.) If you're ready to make a real change - invest in a good PI, get some good evidence, and take him to a divorce court.
2006-10-12 15:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have left him the FIRST time he cheated on you (and the second and third and fourth etc.) When you DIDN'T DO ANYTHING about those incidents you gave him the O.K. and the go-ahead to continue cheating because he knows there aren't any consequences for his bad behavior. You're way, way too late to do anything about this guy anymore, so you can either continue to put up with his screwing around or you can divorce him and start a new life with someone who gives you the respect you deserve....it's YOUR CHOICE!
2006-10-12 15:06:33 · answer #5 · answered by backinbowl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the lack of trust, what are you hoping to accomplish? What will you do if you find he is cheating? Leave? Stay? Complain?
And if you do not catch him cheating, will you be comfortable that he is not cheating or will you think that you just missed it?
Seems to me that either way there is a big lack of trust issue that will cause problems on a long term basis.
2006-10-12 15:01:53 · answer #6 · answered by brian 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your question is internally inconsistent. You both ask how you can find out (as though you don't know), and you say that he has cheated on you before (as though you do know). If you know he has cheated on you, what is the point of finding out more information? You already know all you need to know. Either his cheating on you is acceptable or it is not. Choose.
2006-10-12 15:15:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't bother. if you think he is cheating then your marriage is already in serious trouble. you two need to either get into counceling or you need to call it quits.
I can't see any reason why you would need proof he is cheating. I don't hink it would make any difference to you. You already suspect him of it so the trust is definatly gone already. I don't think there is anything he could do to convince you he isn't cheating - that you would believe.
so.. save the time/trouble and decide if you want to save the marriage or get out.. and then go to counceling or a lawyer.
2006-10-12 15:08:07 · answer #8 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with him if he cheats? Get off to a running start and end it; find someone who truly loves you.
2006-10-12 15:03:05 · answer #9 · answered by Rachel 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out and make yourself a better life! Why do you put up with this if he has apparently done it before? Why do you put yourself through this? You definately deserver better, no matter what you think about yourself!
2006-10-12 15:02:18 · answer #10 · answered by Jo.Elle 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋