what does this mean? he says he loves me but we fight almost on a daily basis anymore? our sex use to be the very very best! &now has nearly been extinct? its only when he wants sex that I get sex...we've been together for 3 years now & i love him til no end! but for several months now all we seem to be able to do is fight? just last week i found dirty magazines hidden under his seat in his truck & then a week later i found a porno tapped to the back of our dryer...why? need answers/advice...please, i don't know what to do anymore?...("OUCH"!)...: ' (
2006-10-12 07:52:46 · 13 answers · asked by bashfullyblessed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The dirty magazines and porns are not causing the problems in your relationship. He's been looking at those before you even met.
Your problems are stemming from what most relational problems stem from; boredom, lack of honest communication; a NATURAL wearing off of infatuation and passion, etc., etc.
Most couples, especially young ones, fail to realize that the heat of passion gets old, as does the sex, and your relationship needs to be based on something other than that foundation if it's going to survive long-term. Being best friends first and foremost is essential. After that...honest communication...understanding that you're both going to have to be the Indian while the other is the chief and vise versa. And last, but not least, willing to forgive and move on...what my wife and I like to call "turning a new leaf".
Peace and good luck.
2006-10-12 08:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-07-19 13:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I pretty sure you're not the only one out there, but I do like it! I'm married and educated and on top of that a loving wife and mother. I respect everyone opinion on everything and anything. So I'm not here to tell you that you are wrong. Some people are just interested in other things. Think about it if everyone liked the same thing and did the same thing, we would be communist. Ha ha thank god for variety. Some women out there also can't get an orgasm until they have assistance, example toys. I am in the medical field and sex is a great exercise So to say that women that use toys are cheap isn't right. Just let people do what feels right to them. Like I said not everyone has to jump on the bandwagon.
2016-03-28 06:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well even though you two are fighting he still wants to get off.. so he is doing everything he can to not hook up with someone.
the reason he hides it is because he assumes you don't like porn and will pick yet another fight with him about it.
If you want to find out what turns him on.. look at the mags and the tape.. that will give you some clue as to what he is looking for.
but.. more importantly you two need to figure out why you are fighting all the time and then take care of it!!!! Do whatever you need to do.. get counceling... get a loan.. whatever... but fix THAT and then your sexual problems will fall away!!!
You may try asking him if you two can watch some porn together... and then point out the things you like so when you get down to it he can do some of those things for you as well..
2006-10-12 07:59:26 · answer #4 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww girlie :( that sounds rough, really. Sounds like this relationship is no good for you anymore. I know that may sound harsh, to just end it like that, and I know that would be a really hard thing to do, but you need to do what's best for you. A man who lusts after other women and lies is not good for you, you're worth more than that. Try a seperation period, or a break, or some kind of time apart to get your thoughts on it straight without him being there. You may find that you're happier. I can honestly tell you it won't get better, and you'll constantly be in a struggle to improve your relationship, and in the meantime be as miserable as can be.
2006-10-12 07:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is a man... and men are horny- as you surely know by now... the fact that he is being secretive about this shows that he wants to be his own horny-for-porn self again... Here's what you do: get all of the items you found and put them in the bathroom next to the loo.... (if you don't have kids that is)... then don't say anything. Just tell him there were bugs all over it where you found them. Don't argue with him about it... no comment. Act like you don't mind at all. Then see what he will verbally deliver as an excuse.
2006-10-12 08:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dump the cheater and move on. Find your own place and get all your money together and go and don't look back. Make sure he doesn't know you know or he will grab all the money and leave first sticking you with all the bills.
2006-10-12 07:59:51 · answer #7 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try counselling or something after you confront him. He may go if he is willing to work at the relationship.
2006-10-12 08:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by brookie1977m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is not completely comfortable being himself sexually with you (as in, he's enjoying himself alone more). You need to talk to him. Have an open, honest conversation.
If he's unwilling to do that, you've got problems.
2006-10-12 07:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aw. well, approach him gently about them. ask him if he's seeing someone else, because that could definitely be the case. there's obviously something missing in the relationship (not your fault!) and you may need couples counseling. confront him though definitely, he may want to talk about it. if not, find someone else that does want sex with you, you deserve it.
good luck hun.
2006-10-12 07:56:18 · answer #10 · answered by koifox_104 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋