My husband has a problem with internet porn and other sexual related stuff...I have confronted him on it and he says he will get better but hasn't do I have gotten in the habit of spying on him to see what he does when I am gone...Is it okay?
2006-10-12 07:40:31 · 33 answers · asked by Denise A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you bet it is.Im in the same boat right now and im so sick of the lies.Heres what i did.I bought some software called eblaster.It works really good.Go on the net and read about it.Anyway i tried to get my proof first and then confront him so he would stop it.Im sad to say it didnt work but at least i knew what was going on behind my back when i was at work.If you dont want to do that check the history daily and you can go to mail2web and check his emails from where ever you are if you no the password.but if he even thinks your spying he has another email that you dont know about.You can also try disk clean up and check the cookies and or use the find tool.That tells all too! I feel for you but it seems that once they get into the porn they cant seem to get out and it ruined my marrage.We are in the middle of a divorse right now because of it.And im not sayiny its only men doing it.The internet can really be evil if you let it and when the trust is gone its pretty much over.We both still love eachother very much but i wont live with a lier or a cheat.You can email me if you want anymore help in this area.Im a expert now:{
2006-10-12 07:59:54 · answer #1 · answered by prettywomen512 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a husband that is in to that, and personally I think it is disgusting. I don't spy on him but I don't appreciate the fact that he does it. I asked him not to have that kinda of stuff in the house. It makes me feel like he wants to set there and look at some other b***h, then come to bed with me. That is a major turn off. Because I don't know if he is thinking about her while he is making love to me. To answer your question no its not okay because you wouldn't want him to spy on you would you? but then again he should have enough respect not to do it. Any ways good luck to ya.
2006-10-12 07:58:26 · answer #2 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the point in "spying"? It will only lead to more arguments. So far it sounds like the argument route has proved to be a dead-end. Try something constructive, like therapy for his addiction, or marriage counseling. If you don't address the root of the problem, addressing the symptoms will not do any good, it'll only make you both miserable.
2006-10-12 07:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were your husband I would tell you, "I have no need to get 'better' because there is nothing wrong with looking at porn. You can spy all you want, but I will continue to look at it sometimes, and if you don't like it, that's your problem, not mine. If you can show me how my treatment of you is in any quantifiable way different because of porn, then I will take you seriously. In the meantime, you're going to have to deal with your own silly insecurities, because you brought those insecurities into our marriage and they're not my fault."
2006-10-12 08:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is invasion of privacy acceptable where you live?
Is the problem with internet porn that you don't think he is mature enough to watch it?
Its an escape from reality like a movie. In action flicks we get to pretend we are a SUPER-HERO for 90 minutes. In porn we go to pretend we are SUPER-LOVERS for 5-10 mintutes (something doesn't seem right with those numbers).
Let him watch. He might learn something that will make you happier.
2006-10-12 08:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the exact same problem with my husband and at one point I got very obsessive over it. I realized that it wasn't healthy for me to obsess over this. But it is hard for me because his obsession with porn make me feel inferior as his wife. He claims it has nothing to do with me, but I still have tried just about everything to compete with his other "women". Confusingly, I don't have a problem with him occassionally going to the strip club with friends, but I guess because this porno addiction is such a "secret" I feel like I'm being cheated on in a sense. As for your question, is it okay to spy, it's up to you. First decide what you will do when you find these things. Do you get super upset, confront him, then do nothing? If that's all knowing does for you is make you upset, then maybe you're better off not knowing. As for me, I'm about to play a porno file I found on my computer this morning that my husband pulled up last night while I was sleeping and confront him with it. He has to get help or I don't know what I will do. Like I said, it's like cheating to me and makes me feel inferior as a woman. Good luck to you and yours.
2006-10-12 07:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by PRL8268 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not unusual for some men to be into porn, once in a while wouldn't be too disturbing to me, unless it was all the time. My husband & I have both looked at it just for fun, but we have a lot of hobbies to keep us busy, we don't have to make a habit out of it. You could suggest he get another hobby or get into some sports. He seems to have too much time on his hands (no pun intended).
2006-10-12 07:48:45 · answer #7 · answered by Elliem 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't get why wives or girlfriends have a problem with porn. Are you that insecure that he cant look at stupid pictures of naked women...give me a break. So it turns him on, so he masturbates to them, who cares! They are just pictures. i think its sad that you feel the need to spy on him. I'm sure he looked at porn before you got married, this is a topic that you two should of discussed before you took the plunge.
2006-10-12 07:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plenty of people like porn. Imagine how you would feel if you found out he was spying on you. That just sucks. I'd say no, but you're gonna do what you do...
2006-10-12 08:18:33 · answer #9 · answered by Yeop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get better, or get gone. Spying on him will do you more harm than good. I think you already know the answer here.
2006-10-12 07:44:27 · answer #10 · answered by flip4449 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋