They hit on me all the time, it is so creepy... I am not flirtatious with them nor do I act innapropriate in any way around them, this is why I can't understand what the deal is, these people are MARRIED for gods sake and they are supposed to be his closest friends, who would do that and WHY??? And what should I do about it, I don't want to hurt my fiance and one of the guys is not only his longtime best friend, but his business partner... I don't want to hurt his business either, but I feel like I should tell him. Would that just open up a can of worms or is it the right thing to do?
2006-10-12 07:12:40 · 20 answers · asked by sweetie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am very upset about this, not full of myself at all! I really am uncomfortable with the whole thing.
2006-10-12 07:15:53 · update #1
I dress appropriately, have college degrees and a very successful business. One of the guys has actually told me he wants to sleep with me and touched me innapropriately (he got smacked for that, but continues to act like a sleaze around me), the other just says innapropriate things to me.
2006-10-12 07:23:40 · update #2
yes tell him, w/ friends like that who needs ememies ? !
2006-10-12 07:22:56 · answer #1 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If something like this makes you uncomfortable, you could always try to tell his friends yourself that you do not appreciate their gestures or flirtacious nature when around you. That way, you would not hurt the business or the friendship, because you went straight to the source. On the other hand, if you feel more comfortable telling your fiance about the situation instead of confronting them yourself, that is perfectly fine too. But expect all reactions from your fiance. He might feel upset, he could feel angry, and hurt. Or he might think you are overexaggerating, I don't know what type of guy he is. But either way, if you are feeling uncomfortable in your own skin around these guys, then yes say something.!
2006-10-12 07:16:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
First: how far are they taking this flirting it could be simply trying to make you feel nice comments like wow you look great today. If it clearly goes beyond that, one real problem I see is that you have not already told him! You are about to marry this person and a trusting open relationship is very important now is the time to set the fondation! By the fact that you have not told him, his friends will assume you have no issue with it. Answer ASAP I would even ask one of them the next time they do it, "do you think your friend would approve of your flriting with me?"
2006-10-12 07:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A certain amount of flirtation is probably acceptable. When you say they are "hitting on you", what do you mean? Are they trying to get you to go home with them? Touching you inappropriately? Saying bad things about your fiance? If none of this is happening, you may just be a little over-sensitive to it. If you are solid in your friendship/relationship with your fiance, and you feel he is solid with you, that is all that matters. If something really inappropriate happens, I would confront the other man first, point out it makes you incredibly uncomfortable, and that you will be speaking with your fiance if it happens again.
Hopefully I have been helpful!
2006-10-12 07:17:56 · answer #4 · answered by stillstanding 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure these guys aren't just overly friendly and are trying to let you know that they except you in their circle?
Have you paid close attention to these men when they have their wives around? Do they act the same then, or just when your the only female around?
These friends could also maybe not be trusting your fiances choice in "wife to be", so maybe their testing the waters to see if you fail.
Your fiance may think your already trying to get rid of his friends before he's even your hubby.
I'd for now, just pay closer attention to the "flirtatious " ways they are with you and around their own wives.
Pay closer attention to what you wear around them, and how you wear it.
2006-10-12 07:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suspect because you husband to be has stood around with these pals of his and no doubt bragged about what you do in bed with him and goes into great detail. If there were any guidelines to have been set these barriers were broken down by this type of conduct and discussing the most provate and intimate of affairs between you and he with these clowns.
That's too bad too. I thik that you'll find this as the root of all your problems here. If you can come up with a better explanation god luck.
2006-10-12 07:29:35 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your fiancee about it and let him take care of the situation with his friends. If he can't handle them, know that these people are always going to be a part of your life (granted, you marry him) and you must decide whether you can handle it or not. If worse comes to worse, tell them to stop. They sound very immature! And it really makes you wonder how YOUR fiancee is around other women!
2006-10-12 07:22:02 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I recommend you tell him what is happening. If he gets mad and blames you for it or tells you that are imagining things then you know the kind of support you can expect once you are married. If he believes you and does something about it you know you have the right guy. You should come before his business and friends.
2006-10-12 07:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by kellermanintx 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that these guys aren't really very good friends if they're hitting on you behind his back. If you've told them you don't appreciate it and they still persist, then you must tell your fiancé. I don't care if it was my best friend, brother, war buddy or whoever. If they were hitting on my girl behind my back, there'd be serious consequences. They're not really friends and they probably shouldn't be partners if they don't have trust.
2006-10-12 07:17:46 · answer #9 · answered by Dave C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do so many of these questions begin with (you) being silly.
Y o u s t a r t w i t h t a l k i n g t o h u b b y t o b e !
Sounds like the Company is a bunch of Swingers.
You make your choices but it is YOUR intimate life you want to share.
2006-10-12 07:23:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Avoid being around them when your fiance isn't present. Don't tell your fiance, it could piss him off and shake things up too much. Especially if your income comes from his business. You must be pretty sweet if they all hit on you. I can see maybe one of them is a bad friend, but all of them?
2006-10-12 07:27:00 · answer #11 · answered by T,Lincoln 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋