i just met up with an ex girlfriend, who i never fell out of love with, and i find out she feels the same, though i am married with kids now, what do i do? my ex is truly the love of my life, i have thought about her every day since we parted over 12 years ago
2006-10-12 06:51:06 · 35 answers · asked by eggy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No need to choose yet, have both for a while see how it pans out and for f@cks sake ignore the religious puritans that post on here about the sanctity of marriage they are either single or their partners are at it behind their bitter and repressed backs xxxx
2006-10-12 06:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by JoyDivision 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I personal say go for you *true* love of your life. You only live once and true happiness is not something you come by everyday. You only come by it once in a life time. Usually I am a 100% for the wife, I usually put myself in her shoes and know exactly how she would feel. However, I think your wife already knows that she is NOT the love of your life, and has probably felt for some time that things have been slipping between the two of you for quite sometime now. But, you expressed that this woman, your ex is the *love of your life* and I can't ignore that. I hope you find peace in what ever choice you choose. Your children will remain YOUR children and in YOUR life no matter what your choice is. It does not mean that you don't love them or that you love them any less. YOU have a right to be happy. Blessed be..........
PS... If you have any doubt at all in this ex of yours, that you are not going to get married and be together, and this is possibly only going to be a few months to possible a couple of years relationship, then I would stop and think and take a good long look at your wife and your family and the love that I know is there. You have a family... you have a house full of love and commitment, think long and hard if that is worth giving up. I would talk to your ex, ask her if she is willing to marry you, ask her if she is willing and wanting to spend the rest of her life with YOU. Put her on the spot,...... if she is really truly *in love with YOU* and if you really are the *love of her life* then she will be able to answer you right away without hesitation or even having to think about it. And if she is the choice that you make.......... I would start planning your wedding right away. If she can't answer that question, if she gives you excuses that 12 yrs is a long time and she would have to re get to know you.........then your answer is there......... she doesn't feel the same and you are better off and with much love in the family you have created and bonded with, with your wife that I know LOVES *YOU*. Blessed be.
2006-10-12 07:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't rush into anything. If you decide that with the ex is where you should be, what have you been doing with your wife all this time?! It sure isn't fair to her and the kids...
Whatever you decide, don't act on feelings for your ex (in other words, don't cheat on your wife) until you are out of the marriage. Even if you don't believe in the moral standards of marriage, try to set a good example for your kids.
Think long and hard about how this is going to make your wife and kids feel. They will probably feel somewhat betrayed, if you've really thought about your ex so much over the years yet never said a word to them. Why did you part 12 years ago, anyway?
2006-10-12 07:02:39 · answer #3 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to seriously think if this is really love or lust!!!!!! The person that you loved 12 years ago may not be the person that she is today as people change and 12 years is a long, long time!!!
Is this woman really worth losing your wife and children over?? The grass isnt always greener on the other side- trust me, the prospect of being with your ex is probably an exciting one as marriage can get u stuck in a rut but maybe you just need to spice up your marriage and keep your ex where she belongs- in the past!!
NEVER GO BACKWARDS!!!!!
2006-10-12 06:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by Scots lass 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO
WTF dude!
12 years ago? If you never fell out of love with her why O why did you get married and had kids with another woman?!?! There is a reason she is an ex and you got married to the woman you are with don't **** it up. Maybe you should think about why your ex and you broke up in the first place... I'll bet it was her and she probably on the bound looking for something stable and found you. Don't do it if you have half a brain....Use her to make your marriage better by putting the feelings you think you have with the ex to your wife.
2006-10-12 07:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Soz mate but if you love your ex girlfriend and have done for the past 12 yrs why oh why did you get married in the first place. If your Heart not with you future wife, why did you marry her.
Even if i had a baby on the way i wouldn't marry someone if i didnt love them.
I'm sorry but you need to think about which one means more to you your family which is your wife an kids or the love of your life which left you 12 yrs years ago.
DONT CHOOSE YOUR PAST OVER YOUR PRESENT AS PEOPLE CHANGE OVER TIME.
Please stay with your family. You will hurt your wife or speak to your with about how you feel as it might be stupid things.
Good luck i hope you make the right choice.
2006-10-12 08:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to get caught up in the "what might have been" with an ex. Just remember that there is a reason she is the ex and not the present.
Its not fair to your wife and kids to chase after a fantasy. Suck it up, act like an adult and stop the communications with the ex. If your marriage is having problems, the two of you need to sit down and take stock of your life and your future. But don't throw away a good marriage and stable homelife of your kids for what may turn out to be a short term fling.
2006-10-12 06:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by Mishaa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is a way for you to spend time with your ex as a friend and not get caught up in cheating I'd do that first because 12 years is a long time. Then this is my advise:
First you need to sit down and weigh what you have and how your current relationship is going. Is it still love? Is it marriage for the sake of marriage? How were things before you met up with your ex?
Once you are sure you still want to go forth with your ex you need to talk with your wife about what has happened and how you feel. It's unfair to you to stay in a marriage you are not happy in but it's also unfair to your wife to just get up and run away or as I said to stay with her just because you two have children. Really think hard and deep and then be honest. The honesty is what is needed most in this time. It's not going to be easy for anyone involved.
Just whatever you do Do Not Cheat. I don't think you would, from what I am getting from your question is that you want to solve this as cleanly and with as little pain as possible.
As for your children no matter what happens they will always always be your children love them and after you have talked with your wife about you and her talk about how she feels you two should handle the kids. Hopefully you can do it as a "team" verses bitter fighters.
2006-10-12 06:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to follow your heart. If you really loved your wife there would be no choice, and if you stay together for the kids sake you will eventually all end up miserable, and your kids will be lacking in confidence and security. If you break up with your wife now the kids will be hurt initially, but they will come to terms with it eventually and begin to heal and grow. If you stay in a bitter marriage, your kids will grow up with a bitter outlook. We all make mistakes in love and the hardest thing to do is face up to it and move on, but sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing to do. Just don't be too sure that your x is the one for you either. You should give yourself a bit of time on your own to figure out your true feelings, without the comparison of an unhappy marriage. You have to start fresh and look for happiness. Always follow your heart
2006-10-12 09:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by pamperpooch39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have never married your wife if you weren't over your ex! Now you will either break your wife's heart with a divorce or you will have a marital affair! That's not right at all on your part! I hope that your let go of your ex for good, and stay with your wife & kids. Marriage is supposed to be a lifelong commitment! ( Do or Did you love your wife?)
2006-10-12 06:58:01 · answer #10 · answered by panda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is just sad. So basically you married your wife because your ex was no longer around, and now she's back and you want her. Grow up and get a life! How immature and pathetic. End all communications with the ex and focus on your marriage - you know that person you made the huge committment to?
2006-10-12 06:57:01 · answer #11 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋