My husband cheated and finally admitted to it> Know he is still trying to cover the lies. Will I ever be able to trust him again.
2006-10-12 06:15:18 · 25 answers · asked by short but sentimental 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a real deep question so I'll give you a real deep answer.... My husband cheated about four years ago, it was a heartwrenching decision to stay with him here's why I did...I was four months pregnant with our second child, and scared....he was truly sorry and very genuine and so I decided to give him through the rest of my pregnancy if he did not continue with his very apparent changes I would leave with both of our children. When I had the baby I was sure that he had truly changed and I knew and still know now four years later that I could trust him and since his moment of weakness he has truly changed.
Some folks would not agree with my decision, but I took the time through the rest of my pregnancy to completely consider every option for myself, my children, and even though he put me in this position to begin with, for my husband. I felt that all of our futures was in the decision that I would make, and I know I made the right one.
Heres the difference in your situation......your husband still hasn't told you the complete truth and is still trying to cover the lies and deceit involved with the cheating. Of course I don't know all the details but I would say if you are willing give him a preset (in your mind) set time to show any changes he has said he would make or to tell you the complete truth...if he doesn't come through for you in every way.....give it up life is to short to spend your life in a constant struggle with your mind and your choices. Be strong! Good luck!
2006-10-12 06:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are allot of kinds of lies they all carry a sertin weight.
I like the casserole you cooked ( but not ) is a lie but not bad.
I came straight home from work ( but really went bowling for a little while ) thows kinds of lies are harder after some one cheats.
My wife messed up allot. With another guy.
I'd say things have to change allot to work after some one cheats.
As to how many lies I think I'd be happy If over the course of our relationship my wife only cheated once every three months on the average, witch will be coming up soon after a little more time passes.
If you saw them in the act you things will not be the same again.
2006-10-12 13:26:26 · answer #2 · answered by position28 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and for some reason it is like pulling teeth. It is almost a guarantee that the only way you are going to get all the details about it is to talk to the person he cheated with.
You can forgive him if you are willing and try and build from there depending on the depth of his relationship with this other person, and the depth of your relationship with him.
I have made it past it in my relationship, but he has never come completely clean and I am not sure why they can't bring themselves to do it.
Mine knows if it happens again I am going to go temporarliy insane, and make it impossible for him to cheat on any woman after me, lol.
And he will have to just deal with the where are you, when will you be home, who is that in the background, until you are comfortable with him again.
2006-10-12 13:23:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jamie M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never trust anybody, whether they cheated on you already or not. Get used to it. Don't stress out about it. If you love him and believe that he won't do it again then make it work. Stop worrying about the cheating, If it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen whether you trust him or not. You can stay with him or you can leave and hook up with another guy who you won't be able to trust. I say stay with him. Quit snooping and he won't have to lie to you. This is the secret to a good relationship.
2006-10-12 13:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by saveit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As many lies it takes for you to get fed up with it... and realize he's not a good man! Trust is one of the hardest things to gain back and if you continue to get hurt of lies, you are just never going to trust him again!
2006-10-12 13:17:59 · answer #5 · answered by precious1982 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well Yes and No,
Yes and never mention it or pry into his affairs again, do all the things you neglected, Oral Anal Outdoot BDSM etc and live a happy life.
No..... spend it alone with brief interludes where men drop in the repeat the scenario becasue you are frigid and not able to satisfy them.....you choose
2006-10-12 13:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by JoyDivision 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you can trust him agian u just have to learn how to do that again. he may have cheated but i think everyone deserves a second chance to get a fresh start. i have been in this situation before but i gave him a second chance and it worked out. i learned to trust him agian and ever since then he know that he messed up and he has not done it anymore
2006-10-12 13:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by shy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think the 2 of you need some time apart. see how he reacts to that. if he runs around with many women then or quickly hooks up with just one, he's not sorry.
However if you 2 do split and he doesn't see anyone else at all, maybe your relationship has a chance
2006-10-12 13:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by gardener24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope sorry it's not going to get much better from here on out!! Go have some fun and treat yourself on his dime you'll feel good after being a little devilish!!! You'll find it'll make you feel more empowered!!
2006-10-12 13:39:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant trust him again again until he actually makes the effort, and it doesnt sound like he is if hes still lying. You need to tell him that.
2006-10-12 13:18:48 · answer #10 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋