I am a wife of 10 years with 3 (2 back to back)children with this man. I may not have the cutest figure right now- but geesh cut me a little slace! I'm not fat, just my tummy and bootie is a little large! I am a stay at home mom + helping out with his business'.I see he likes to look up asian women and blondes? Is he bored or just curious. He tells me he loves me and that he would not hurt me, but I am so confused.
2006-10-12 06:11:08 · 19 answers · asked by bina 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This opens up the arena , for all the man bashers on here.Try the same thing on him and see how he likes it.
2006-10-12 06:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by wanttolpve 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some peoples' answers here .. such as the first one. . I approve of. It seems all too often that the man is made to be the bad guy, when in reality it is nearly equally as common to see the opposing sex do similar. This particular situation is an unfortunate side effect of the internet. I have been online since late 1996 and I've seen many different sides to things.
I met a woman online at one point, that I found out later only lived from guy to guy. She constantly used online communication as a hopping point. Men are not the only ones that abuse the net
Generally when something as described in this question happens, it is one of three things. First and foremost sometimes a partner .. not just male, needs to let the real world go and do such things like in this case. It isn't necessarily an insult to his/her partner, as much as it is breather. It may be wise to consider spending more time apart or more time together, all depending. Too much at either extremety is stifling and damaging.
Second instance is something missing in the relationship ... and in most instances this is generally the fault of both parties .. not just one. In this instance it is crucial to open lines of communication and diagnose what is missing/wrong before one partner or the other loses everything holding things together.
Another possibility that hasn't even been mentioned here is that he may just be looking for friends, not necessary a partner. I myself have done this, and I had been living with a woman at the time. I might note that I was "not allowed to do anything outside the house (business or otherwise) if a different woman was involved (which amounted to insecurity on her part). Jealousy has two sides to it, it can be good, but it can also kill a relationship like a poison.
Yet another and prior mentioned possibility is that he's simply "curious" ... in which case it will go nowhere and overreacting to it will only damage the relationship. I highly suggest you talk to him 'calmly' and without malice, before you come to any conclusions. Yes, there are men who will take it to the "next level", cheat, obstain from satisfying their partner, etc. But it is just as frequently seen from female partners as well. It is all on a situation by situation basis.
Considering the time you two have been together, the fact you have 3 children, and what you claim he has said. I would not place too much fear or worry on those actions. Granted, you may not appreciate it, but I really do not think you have anything major to worry about. If you decide to talk to him, be civil and keep the conversation un-accusive. In that scenario, ask the motivation, but do not have a preconceived notion/think you know already attitude. Be open and listen to his point of view before drawing any solid conclusions. It may just surprise you how much a conversation held in this manner can accomplish.
2006-10-12 21:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by adarious_mist 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is probably just curious. Don't over react to it but you may make an effort to put a little diversity back into your relationship. Sex is an important part of a relationship for most if you no longer feel that way then it may be time spice things up.
2006-10-12 13:23:13 · answer #3 · answered by dano 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why not make sure he does not have time to go look. If he is so busy with you, well then he doesn't have time, or a reason, to look anywhere else.
I don't mean for you to find him honey do jobs.
I'm talking husband and wife interaction. Even if it is just snuggling on the couch (under a blanket ... hint hint).
If he does not need anything then he won't need to look.
Just an idea...
2006-10-12 13:20:39 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he is just curious. We as women tend to take things personaly. Sit down and talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. I am sure after you guys talk through this you will feel much better.
2006-10-12 13:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is natural. All of us guys get bored and are curious. But it is another thing to cross the line and meet someone. If he is doing this, he must put a stop to it.
2006-10-12 13:38:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Look them up, in what manner? If they are just porn sites and hes looking at pics, thats no big. But if hes on dating sites, thats a different story.
2006-10-12 13:14:51 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unless he is activly looking for women in YOUR area and attempting to contact him, he is just using it for variety. look at it like this.. you don't eat the same thing every night right? so.. why should he restrict himself to just looking at one person nakid the rest of his life.
However... if he is contacting them and theya re in your area... I'd take him aside and tell him you want to go to counceling or get a divorce because somethning ain't right.
2006-10-12 13:20:43 · answer #8 · answered by .... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Master DA
2006-10-12 13:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by redbeansandrice 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do women worry so about what a man does on a computer? He is just being a man.
2006-10-12 13:34:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋