I 'm confused at how easy it was to forgive her for cheating. I have not and do not believe that she will do it again, it was really easy to say I forgive you. Anyone else find it easy to forgive spouses that have wronged you alittle or a lot ?
2006-10-12 05:54:35 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I never said I'd forget that is for sure
2006-10-12 06:06:18 · update #1
It's not easy but you have to look at it this way- people make mistakes and if you love the person enough - you need to let it go or you will not be able to live your life normal again. My ex cheated and it sucked kux i couldn't believe anything he told me thereafter but- time passed by and he made me realize that he really wasn't using his head when he did what he did it was just a spur of the moment thing because things between us weren't going as great as i thought they were. We broke up after because i got bored of the relationship but- in some cases people find it hard to forget. You can forgive but- you will find yourself asking her a million questions about the guys and how it all started. If it gets this far- you should separate until you're ready to get over it and move on with your life. Listen to what she has to say. Why didn she do it?? there is no good reason why people should cheat but- hear her out. One thing i have to say thoug- stay alert!!! Check sex patterns, how she dresses to go to work, what time she gets home, who she talks on the phone with. Fo all you know- she might still have contact with the other guy and might just be waiting for the right moment to leave you for him. But other other hand- seh might have jsut fallen for the heat of the moment and is trully sorry. Give her a chance to but- don't be stupid. keep your flags up just in case.
2006-10-12 06:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by Ms.Budonkadonk 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
True forgiveness is not an easy thing, though some people have more forgiving spirits. To forgive someone is to erase any claim you have over them due to a wrong they've committed. This word comes from the Greek word 'Tetalestai' which means 'paid in full'. Forgiveness is only free for the one who receives it. Think of it like this...someone owes you $5,000 and they come to you and ask for mercy and you say 'you're forgiven your debt'. This doesn't cost them anything but it does cost you $5,000. That is difficult to do, but it is a beautiful thing when you can though it may not feel like it. You may want to get counseling on your own and also with your wife. Shore up the weak areas of your marriage. Good luck and God bless.
2006-10-12 06:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you given it lots of time too? Sometimes you can think you have forgiven the person but it keeps coming up later in other ways. Little resentments that build into big trouble.
I am married to a great guy who is very easy to forgive because anything he does is so minor I am being very petty if I don't.
My last relationship was very different however, I forgave that guy over and over, or thought I did... and carried the resentments around with me until they got too heavy. I have honestly forgiven him now for what he did in our relationship because I realize I stayed for me not for him and when I was strong enough I moved on without him... I realize now it was more about me than anything he might have done to wrong me.
If you can honestly move forward and not carry those resentments you are a strong and decent person. Also, you should be able to put it in the past and review the situation if she ever does it again.
2006-10-12 06:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by baxterstuds 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find anything that my hubby does wrong easy to forgive, I can hold any anger in my heart towards for him. He has been the best husband I ever had (second marriage). He forgave me when I did the bad deed with another about 20 years ago, and has never mentioned it again. And I never, ever did it again. How can I not forgive him?
2006-10-12 06:00:17 · answer #4 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Betrayal is never easy to forgive, but for the sake of the marriage you must forgive and move on. If this is impossible for you to do being in the marriage surely will bring festering resentments to the surface and possibly to the point of no return. So forgive and move on or move on. I wish you luck and I am so sorry this happened to you.
Peace.
2006-10-12 05:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i believe cheating is the one and only thing i would not forgive,because this is who they really are, and once they crossed that line and gave into the temptation than they aready left you anyway.i believe once a cheater always a cheater, and to save oneself from anymore heartache just move on.cheating is the ultamite betrayal, nothing equals it, and it's something you never forget,and you would be constantly looking for the signes to appear again.its best to just move on and find someone who doesn't cheat. they didn't love you enough to sit and talk over what was bothing them that caused the cheating, they never gave you a chance to work on the marraige, so i would say it can't be forgiven.
2006-10-12 07:31:53 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it was easy because you don't affliate sex with love. Your wife cheated on you sexually which has no meaning to you, it's like she told a lie and confessed, now it' water under the bridge. Now if she did something that in your opinion had meaning, whaterver they may be, then forgiving would not come as easy to you. My husband cheated and shows no remorse, he said it was nothing, and wanted variety. He is sorry for hurting me, but not sorry for having sex with another woman. He don't value sex with women, to him, it's like a casual conversation. Once we talked and he understood where I come from (sex is the closest you can be with another person) he understand why, he don't agree, but he does understand, and promise to never hurt me again. I do feel that he is honest now after we sat down and had a heart to heart. No one knows your wife better than you. I admire your strength, and still working on my forgivness with my husband.
2006-10-12 07:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by sassy lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is easy to forgive when someone has cheated on you, nobody can comment unless they have been in that situation, it is really hard but that trust does come back it takes a long time but it does,people say once a cheater always a cheater that is rubbish, just take every day as it comes and good on you and i hope it all works out for you.
2006-10-12 06:10:50 · answer #8 · answered by jackie d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating would be hard to forgive but the little things i tend to forgive through humour you know joking and sarcasim about the disagreement,,, but probably not the best way with cheating as the issue not much humour in that
2006-10-12 06:45:33 · answer #9 · answered by just wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt forgive them I would of broke it off when I found out. They will do it again. You could be in denial and say she wont. I still cant forgive my fiance for lying to me about how many children he had, Cause if he lies about that he could be lying that he never cheated on me. Find someone else who will not cheat. I'm trying to make ours work. But there is no guarantees. I could do better for myself than be with a liar.
2006-10-12 06:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋