I am a white man who has been happily married for 4 years. I decided to suprise my wife by doing some housework, so I washed all the clothes, folded them, and put them away. In the process, I found a large black dildo in my wife's dresser drawer. I have not confronted her yet because I want to calm down and think. Does this mean that I am not satisfying her? Does the fact that it is black mean that she is bored or hungry for something different? Can you help me undertstand? I don't want sympathy...just raw honesty.
2006-10-12 05:25:11 · 40 answers · asked by JJ J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
suprise it on her when you make love to her. I think she'll like it. She just probably thinks that you'd get jealous. Play with the idea for a whilie, I'm pretty sure she'll love you more., lol.
2006-10-12 05:28:10 · answer #1 · answered by ♥ღαмαиdα♥ღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with the fact that she wants a black man in bed with her - there are all sorts of different colored dildos. Pink, purple, yellow, black, brown, green, red, orange.. etc - you get the idea.
Just because I have a red one doesn't mean I want to be with an red Indian! Get my drift?
Don't be hurt by the dildo, embrace the idea! Your wife probably just needs more excitement or something new in your love life. Do you notice that your love making has gotten into a routine or even boring? Same thing every time?
Extra toys can really help bring the relationship and love making alive! Spice it up.
All in all - PLEASE don't take it personally. It has nothing to do with you or your ability to 'satisfy'. (I'm saying this because I am a woman who knows!)
Spice things up... and one night bring it up... saying.. "Honey? You know... I found your little 'secret' while putting clothes away the other day... can we use it tonight? I never knew you were into that!? I think it's hot... You make me hot... etc"
Now go have some fun! Maybe now that its in the open you can go do some "shopping together" :)
(The jealousy or being uncomfortable is a big turn off... maybe she knew you would freak out and that is why she never told you). Prove her wrong. Prove to her you are man enough to have it in the same room... you are man enough not to feel jealous).
2006-10-12 05:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by InnerBeauty28 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
DUDE!!!!!!!!! I am all for it but..... It sucks just finding out about it. Would it have been alright if she bought it with you instead of with out you? All women say that size doesn't matter but then something like this happens. It obviously does matter to more than others but it does matter. May i suggest that you ask her about it but not in a negative way just say the truth you were doing some house cleaning and you found it. Then incorporate it in you sex life. Then watch her and see if she likes it more than you then you have your answer. Sorry Dude tuff subject but you should get over it. Did you finally realize that your not the stud you thought. Here is the best part now you can try to win her back from your adversary by trying to make it the best every time so she won't use it anymore.
2006-10-12 06:03:23 · answer #3 · answered by de4life34 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So if it was a large white dildo would it have been better? Try something new with your wifey, something romantic, maybe a bit out of the norm. Maybe she is bored and dosent know how to say it, and prefers to use other methods to get off!! but be thankful its just a dildo and not another man, take this a warning....
SPICE IT UP!!!
2006-10-12 05:52:24 · answer #4 · answered by voluptoustaureanfemale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look this is a great opportunity for you two to actually have a good honesttalk about sex. Use this wisely and do not make her feel bad in the least bit about owning this otherwise she will withdraw from you and there will be a problem. Tell her she does not need to keep anything secerete and that you want to watch her use it so you can maybe learn what she likes and it would turn you on to watch her.
Be smart and turn this into the positive this can be.
2006-10-12 06:10:59 · answer #5 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are satisfying her, more than most likely, but maybe just not enough. You shouldn't get mad, instead be more open minded. She probably doesn't know how to approach you about the "toy" you had found. The color - that is total irrelevant! There are all sorts of colors, that was probably the one toy she wanted, not thinking of color! You should introduce her to something you like massage, feathers, etc..then maybe she'll bring the 'toy' into your intimate moments sharing with you. (not just by herself) It will only enhance the sexual side of your relationship. If she weirds out on you, then just explain to her what you found, how you came across the 'toy' (innocently - cleaning) tell her how you feel - calmly and listen to her as well! DO NOT FREAK OUT!!!
2006-10-12 06:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by sunbunny06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the problem just the fact that she has it, or because it's black? Would you be upset if she had the hot pink one? Do you ever jack off? More than likely you do. It doesn't mean you're not satisfied with your wife. Maybe you just need some action when she can't give it to you. Could be the same for her.
2006-10-12 05:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the color has anything to do with it. Every model is different and comes in different color per size, etc.
Most woman do need *extra* to be satisfied. You might not be doing it for her, and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
But honestly, the most probably answer is that you probably get it 25 -50% of the time. Or you skip the intro go right to the 'good' stuff and she hasn't had time to warm up. So you probably put her in the mood, and she finishes herself.
I straight told my boyfriend when I bought one. It concerned him at first, but then he tried harder to get me to orgasm. So maybe, now that's all you need to do... Not that she'll give that up, because they do work wonders, but don't hold it against her. She's a woman with needs.
Best of luck.
2006-10-12 05:35:56 · answer #8 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO! i can think of sooo many funny things to say that i can't get 'em out!. OK, as a guy i'm sure u know that masturbation is nothing to get upset about. the large black tool is just your wife's way of pleasuring herself in your absence. be happy u found a black dildo in her draw and not a black man in her. that would really require couples counseling.
2006-10-12 05:55:01 · answer #9 · answered by feetal2003 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bro you are way too uptight.
Don't worry because it says nothing about your relationship. It's just a vibrator. A toy
Bust it out some day and use it with her...you may find you like playing with it too.
She probably did not tell you because she thought you may respond just like you are now.
'Does this mean she is not satisfied? Does she want a black stud?'
These are ridiculous worries.
Get over yourself and your own insecurities.
Break it out next time you both are feeling 'playful' and give her the time of her life.
2006-10-12 05:53:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its probably the only color that it came in.
After seeing all of the men & porn questions posted the other day and how that is "normal" what would make a dildo abnormal? I thought you guys didn't care about women masterbating since its ok for you all to. Not trying to sound mean, but why get mad at her if you do it too??
Get over it.
2006-10-12 05:34:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋