I love her and my husband very much and I've tried to see her "playing" as a way to vent her anger. I was no where around and didn't know her father when he caught her mom cheating three times. Once with her uncle. She left the child with her father and didn't even get to see her until a year ago. She lets her dress however she wants. Lets her hang with grown men. My sister even found messages she had sent to her boyfriend. She told him(the stepdaughter) that she liked older men. Her half sister lives with her aunt and is engaged at 17 to her aunts16 year old stepson. My niece who is 13 also is not allowed to hang out with her anymore because she kept sending her dirty text messages that my sister found on her phone. She told me it use to be easy to run her dads girlfriends off until he fell in love. We talked to her before we married. Her mom is now out of work and living with a loser. Do you think she could be behind some of the childs behavior? Maybe she thinks she can get him back.
2006-10-12 05:24:37 · 13 answers · asked by rose v 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There's not much you can do, that child has been affected by her mother's behavior and her acting out is a way to get attention from all of you. You didn't say what your husband thinks about all of this, because it's really up to him to set the boundaries (and most men cant handle that responsibility, I know from personal experience). And you didn't say how old she is or if she lives with you. You can talk to him about your concerns, but other than that you have to stay out of it. I was in a similar situation and I know how hard it is. Good luck with it.
2006-10-12 05:31:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her what a real woman should be. She is only going by what she has is in front of her. Even if the mom is behind some of the behavior, you still need to be the woman of strength and grace. Nothing can compare to how we behave and act towards others. Set boundaries and stick to them. Please encourage your husband to play an active role in her life. He needs to take her to Saturday morning breakfasts or Sunday lunches. Just maybe during these times, he can really get to know her and he can be a male role model for her. She needs a strong male in her life to show her how she should be treated and what a good man would want from her when she is old enough and mature enough for a relationship. Does she have any girl friends? How old is she? Make her get involved at school. Do you attend church? Most churches have awesome youth groups. She needs to start meeting people outside this circle that is giving her the wrong ideas about relationships and how a real woman should behave. She is lucky to have you and that you care enough to want the best for her. Even if she fights this change, I guarantee you that when she is old enough, she will thank you for being that rock and sound person in her life. Don't give up and God Bless!!
2006-10-12 05:40:15 · answer #2 · answered by kymmy_kins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one of the main reasons why a daughter prefers older men is simple (take it from Freud). She needs her dad. I know that it's easier to believe that it's her mother's fault but honestly, she really needs her dad. Take it from me. Growing up my father was living with us but he was never really involved the way I wanted him to be. My mother tried to fill both roles which of course it's very different. A girl needs her father. I am 27 today and my bf is 45....always had an older man in my life. The fact that my dad wasn't a part of my daily life still affects me today
2006-10-12 05:32:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You be her role model and
take her camping or something for a week or two. Some bonding time, but somewhere you can both let your hair down a bit at night and have some fun and a drink ( dont know what drinking ages are in US though).
Good luck.
Main thing, make sure you tell your guy everything and dont let her come between you, nor be afraid of her coming between you. Make sure your guy supports you !
2006-10-12 05:30:57 · answer #4 · answered by m c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daddy is to blame, too. Obviously he was more concerned about his own love life and sexual adventures and girlfriends and finally a new wife to lead by example. She's only doing what she witnessed BOTH her parents do.
I suggest some counseling-- on parenting for the adults! And some type for the daughter as well.
2006-10-12 05:29:53 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to be serious just try to come close to her take her shopping or mayb just talk to her cuz to me it sounds there is somthin more then just what u think becuz whtz would you do if u caught your mom cheain on ure dad im sure you would be pretty mad about that to be serious ok
but you know what u need to do ok u shouldnt have no prob fixin her up with a good friend like youre self ok well good luck in there and just what ever you say to her tell her from ure heart ok and whzt ever happends between you to just let her get what ever she has in her chest let her get o=it off and vont disturbher in any way ok good luck ok by
2006-10-12 05:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by gabriel g 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
counseling would be a good idea.. Not just for her but maybe for everyone in the family. she seems to of had a hard life growing up as a child..
2006-10-12 05:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a little counseling would do everyone some good it sounds like. sounds like this girl has had a rough life. i would have the whole family in counseling! it certainly wouldn't hurt to try it out!
2006-10-12 05:27:52 · answer #8 · answered by all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ack ! Too long an explanation. Anything goes ! Good Luck! :)
2006-10-12 05:26:38 · answer #9 · answered by tysavage2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her find out her self thats the right thing to do and don't tell her i told you so when she inds out suport her always never put her down if you care about her ok.
2006-10-12 05:34:53 · answer #10 · answered by ecko_boy4436 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋