My husband has all of these girls from work that he is now friends with. we are haveing problems in our marrage because he isnt ready for family and thier is this one girl that he talks to all of the time and I told him I didnt like it and he said that their is no way he is doing any thing with her but why wont he let me hear them talk and also why wont he let me get to know her.
2006-10-12 05:08:21 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Trust your instincts!Tell him that you are not comfortable with him talking to other women on the phone.To talk to ladies at work is one thing to talk to a lady from work when your not at work is a whole different ball game!It is time to tell him you will not tolerate this one more minute!Tell him you are not stupid and that you know exactly what is going on.I would call the girl or take the phone when he is talking to her and ask her if she could please go get her own man and leave yours alone!
2006-10-12 05:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all likelihood he doesn't want you to get to know her because then the two of you would be able to "compare notes". It would be too easy for you to contradict negative remarks he's made about your family.
The most typical topic discussed between a married man and another woman is how unhappy he is with his current situation, thus getting sympathy and sometimes a little extra from her. Men enjoy being babied and being the center of attention, so "crying on someone's shoulder" is an easy way to get that attention.
I'm not saying he's definately screwing around yet, but he's definately setting the grounds for it. Be prepared and be thankful you don't have a family yet. It doesn't sound like you've hooked up with someone you'll be able to trust long-term. Sorry!
Remember, others see what you do not and won't say anything until after you've split up. Then they'll come out of the woodwork with comments such as, "I can't believe you put up with him cheating as long as he did - what you didn't know? I thought everybody did!"
2006-10-12 05:16:50 · answer #2 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know this much, I was the girl on the other end of the friendship not too long ago.
I was the best friend he's ever had. I supported him. I listened to his problems. I encouraged him. He eventually grew to have a crush on me. I resisted. He resisted. We continued being friends. Actually we became better friends over time...
His wife demanded that he stopped talking to me or else she'd take the kids and leave. So now, even at work, we avoid each other. I feel like I've lost my best friend. But I can't blame her for her own insecurities.
My situation may be different. The circumstances are probably incomparible. But ask yourself first, if it's problems with yourself, or with him? Make sure he's happy with the marriage. Make sure he's happy with you. And make sure you're happy with him.
Be strong. The talking to her thing, might be because he feels you might attack her when she doesn't deserve it. Or he may be hiding something. Investigate your own feelings and go with the gut instinct.
Best of luck.
2006-10-12 05:28:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lola 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he will not let you hear when he is talking to her and will not let you get to know her, she probably thinks he is single and you would blow his cover. You ought to just stop by where your husband works, when he is not there if you can and introduce yourself to her as his Wife. Ask her what they talk about so often and let her know that you are just not real comfortable with her talking to YOUR husband all the time. Now, there is no doubt he will get real mad about this, but you need to defend your marriage and it sure does not seem like he is going to, so stand up and take charge. If he gets ultra pissed off, then maybe you need to introduce him to your lawyer because if he will not respect you, your feelings and your marriage, then you need to move on...Good luck, but don't let her take him with out a stand...
2006-10-12 05:20:40 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound good. First off, he takes great pleasure in having these girls from work as friends - and it seems like he enjoys knowing that it bothers you. He's definitely not mature! That being said, the fact that he doesn't want you to get to know them is a red flag. Children should've been discussed before marriage. You've got yourself a mess.
2006-10-12 06:32:40 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sounds like a problem. What's the question? If he's not ready to have a family, why marry a guy like this? Sounds like you need to find yourself a more mature individual. I'd be kicking my husband to the curb if he was talking to girls "all the time".
2006-10-12 05:33:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it truly is have been given to be a duck.... and, sorry to assert, this must be his female chum. Do you bear in mind once you have been relationship and he'd refer to you for hours at a time while he could no longer be with you? that's what seems to be happening now. SO what do you do now? i could initiate with some serious counseling, a pass to to a doctor to be checked for std's, and in all risk a visit to a lawyer, in basic terms in case. sixteen years is a protracted time to throw away, tremendously once you have little ones at homestead. yet little ones are extra resilient than you think of and each so often divorce is larger than longlasting turmoil at homestead. in easy terms you comprehend what's sweet for you. Take some time right here. hear to you coronary heart then hear on your head - do you nonetheless love him? Do you think of you may ever have faith him back? He needs again clean earlier you additionally can try. good success!
2016-10-02 05:39:36 · answer #7 · answered by murchison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey! my husband also does that! U have all the rights to hear whom he talks to. He he says no, he is a liar! Talk to her abt what's going on between her and ur hubby! find out and take a decision accordingly! Good luck honey dont break ur heart for silly matter. Have ur life the way u want to!
2006-10-12 05:18:08 · answer #8 · answered by kiran123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's only fitting that you try to get your husband to understand that you need to know everyone he knows and vice versa even if you don't become friends with them. Look at it this way, if something God forbid should happen to either onel of you wouldn't you like to be aware of all contacts to see who could be of help? Tell him you are not trying to keep him from talking to other women but just as he would expect to know who you talk to the same applies to him.
2006-10-12 05:17:23 · answer #9 · answered by Tanya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be hearing a lot of alarm bells right now :(
He's obviously got something to hide.
Why wouldn't he want the love of his life and best friend (you) meeting his really good friend(her)?
He has either said things to her that aren't true and doesnt want you to meet because he doesnt want her to know he lied or he is having an affair.
Something is going on.
2006-10-12 05:11:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋