i have been told by alot of poeple that they seen him here and there with other female and things like that and of cousre he denies it but the second time he tried i walked in on hime but he say he did it on purpose he wanted to get caught that way i muold stop accusing him. even after that we got back together. its been a year since then and i still cant find a way to trust him. sometimes i just want to say it over but im afraid the my son will be hurt emotionally. i love him to death and he can be a good person but sometimes i still find text messages on his phone that seem suspicious. can someone please tell me what should i do to fix this relationship or should i move on either way i just dont way to see my son get hurt PLEASE HELP
2006-10-12 05:01:26 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
SERIUOS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE
2006-10-12 05:02:41 · update #1
Move on NOW. The longer you wait, the more your son will be hurt when you eventually have to leave.
2006-10-12 05:03:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wouldn't life be easier if we could be a fly on the wall and know beyond a reasonable doubt? But, life isn't like that. We're given intuition for a reason.
This is a situation that is close to my heart since I've been there, and believe me, he's cheating. If something continues to be suspicious over a period of time, trust your intuition. Finding one suspicious text message is one thing, but putting all the suspicious things you're experiencing together, it's very unlikely that he's being completely truthful.
Your son will be hurt emotionally if you stay with someone who doesn't care enough about you to protect your heart and your health (if he's sleeping around and then coming home to you). Plus, your son is getting a very bad role model of a man. Whether or not he's actually cheating is beside the point - he's playing games (saying he "wanted to get caught," getting text messages, etc.). Is that how you would want your son to treat a woman when he gets older?
I don't know you, but I'm sure you're worth much more than these games. There ARE men out there who are trustworthy, and know how to treat a woman without the childish games. And yes, I am single, but will not settle for someone who doesn't know my worth - and either should you.
Good luck - email me if you need help.
2006-10-12 05:11:23 · answer #2 · answered by cb4556 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop him. If he cared about you, he would have cared about you finding him with someone else. Telling you that he hoped he would get caught is just lame.
There's nothing you can do to fix this, it's entirely up to him. The best thing for you to do is leave him alone. If he is your son's father, certainly keep him involved in your son's life. But, keep in mind that your son needs an example from you on how people are to be loved and honored in a relationship. This guy isn't doing either. After three years, you deserve more that this.
2006-10-12 05:06:48 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if you can't trust your boyfriend, there's no hope hun. It's been a year and you still can't trust him. I think it's time to move on. Yes, it honestly might hurt your son but in the long run it's best for him. You don't want him seeing your bf cheat on you and then lie straight to your face about it. What your son see's going on in your relationships is how he's going to make his relationships when he gets older. Dont let your little boy think it's okay to cheat on women and lie about it. I know it will be hard I was with my daughters father for 3 years but it was better for her in the long run, just take it day by day and good luck, i know this is hard.
2006-10-12 05:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by jaide1108 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, seems like you have 2 choices.
1. You split.
2. You stay together.
If he's been cheating, he'll continue cheating, and it won't matter to him what you do. Think about this for a second... Will you marry him if he is or isn't cheating?
Probably (I hope!) not. So why are you staying with him? For your son. Would you rather your son sees how you are being treated? Or would you want him to see you being strong?
2006-10-12 05:06:17 · answer #5 · answered by eriayasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that your bf isn't a husband type right now. He might mature later on, but marriage is a life-long bond and if you have questionable trust towards him then you won't work out. You'll end up hurting yourself and your son for messing up your lives with him in it. I'd say keep in touch with him if you desire to and move on looking for a man more dependable. He's obviously got somethings to work on. Move on and don't get serious with him.
2006-10-12 05:05:40 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son will be more hurt by you living in a situation like this. You already know your bf cant be trusted. Its not going to get better. Its better to move on.
2006-10-12 05:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here in Guatemala we have a saying for that sort of thing. Marrano que come mierda aunque le quemen la trompa. Roughly translated means Once a pig has eaten **** he'll eat again even if you were to burn its snout. That all boils down to that if he's done it once, he'll do it again, no matter how much he swears he won't. Dump him. You've still got your self esteem. Good luck
2006-10-12 05:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by Jayme C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You caught him once. What I find funny is he told you that bullsh*t story and you apparently swallowed it hook, line and sinker. Man....how can you be so dumb?
Ah well...some people in this world need to be hit square in the face with a 2x4 to wake them up and make them see the light. Unfortunately my dear, you appear to be one of them. So...you will not be satisfied until he burns you and burns you badly. Only then will it sink in that he's been screwing you over all this time.
2006-10-12 05:08:11 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a difficult situation but think of it this way...would you want your son to see him with another girl or have you 2 split up. the same thing happened with my parents. mom split up with dad cuz dad was having an affair. And if you cant trust him you shouldn't be married. trust me i am happy with my mom and dad split up because they NEVER bring me into the arguments and i mean NEVER. if you split up you cant bring him into it or bad mouth him. Just speaking from expirience here.
2006-10-12 05:13:30 · answer #10 · answered by mybizyagottaknowthat2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋