They keep fighting calling eachother names, then when one turns their back the other one talks trash. These are my parents i don't want to hear them say this.... I try and talk to them but they don't listen? Wut do i do?
2006-10-12 04:44:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 16 years old
2006-10-12 05:00:10 · update #1
You just have to tell them to shut up when they say that stuff to you! Yell at them if you have to. They should NOT be doing that kind of thing and involving you. Next time one of them talks trash, just say, that is my parent, and please do not say bad things about them. I had to do that with my mom when my parents got divorced....
2006-10-12 05:04:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say how old you are, but can you simply leave the situation? You must be old enough to make them feel you can be an ally in their battle.
It's a horrible shame when childishness on the part of adults turns to hurtfulness. Again, my recommendation would be for you to remove yourself from the situation. If you are in the car, ask to be let out - you'd rather walk home. Go to your room and close the door. Go outside and walk around the block.
Another thing to think about - WHEN are you trying to talk to them. If it's in the heat of battle, it's the wrong time because they cannot listen to you. Tell your Mom and your Dad (separately of course!) that you want some one on one "date" time. Go get a burger. And tell them in a calm tone that you refuse to take sides -- so please quit making hurtful comments to you. Let them know that whenever they do this you will find somewhere else to go. Some tears on your part might not hurt in getting your point across.
Do you have a minister or someone that you could turn to? Perhaps a third party could talk to both parents and make them hear how much they are hurting you in the process of trying to backstab one another.
By the way, their animosity probably won't get better. It sounds as if they are very immature, so be prepared for a long life full of juggling family occasions.
2006-10-12 04:57:59 · answer #2 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit them both down at the same time and very calmly ask them to give you two minutes to hear you out. They should agree to two minutes. When they are quite, tell them you want to talk uninterrupted until you are done. As serious as you can, tell them both that you love them both very much and when they are hurting each other, calling each other names, trash talking, they are hurting you...Then tell them that the next time either one of them starts, you will be gone, because you do not want to hear them tear each other down any more. If they feel they need to get a divorce, okay, but not to drag you into the middle and not to tear each other down in the process. Tell them if they keep it up, you will leave and that you are dead serious about it. If they can not get along, fine, then get apart, you can deal with that, but when then tear each other down, let them know they are hurting you by doing that to someone you love...
2006-10-12 05:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop listening to them. Don't get involved at all. If it is stressing you out go talk to a school counselor or a relative. Maybe you can stay at a relatives or a friends house. Arguing is good for some relationships. If they are getting a divorce they should do all the fighting in court and when out of court since they have you they should be putting all their energies into your relationship with them. Inform them that if they keep fighting in front of you and try to get you involved you will move out. See how fast their tune changes.
2006-10-12 04:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by steve s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have every right to tell BOTH of your parents that they are endangering their relationship with you by speaking badly about the other. Their marriage didn't work out and while they are both in a great deal of pain, they don't have the right to make their pain your problem. Maybe sending them both an email asking them to leave you out of it will help.
If they won't listen when you tell them to keep you out of the middle, get up and leave. If Mom is calling Dad a loser-- say very calmly, "He is my father and I love him. Do not speak about him that way," then go outside and rake leaves. If Dad is calling Mom a greedy witch over the phone, say very calmly, "I'm sorry you feel that way, but she is still my mother. I won't listen to you say mean things about her. Goodbye, Dad. I will talk to you later."
Stand your ground, sweetie. They WILL stop, but it is going to take you telling them both that if they don't stop talking badly about each other they will lose you.
2006-10-12 04:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by hannahthemovie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every time that they start with the talking about each badly either walk away or just tell them you don't want to hear it. If all else fails then just look at them and ask them "What ever happen to the time you got along? I know there was one cause I am here. Unless I was made out of anger and not love." That or "Even though you don't like each other, I still love you both." Then walk away.
2006-10-12 04:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
look at them and say "I don't want conflict in my life, be adults and figure it out maturely" and walk away. If your parents still fight when your around, yell it so loud so they actually hear you. and keep doing it. Eventually they will stop fighting for the best of you. If not, call them on the phone and talk to them and say whats on your mind.
2006-10-12 04:51:48 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ღαмαиdα♥ღ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are VERY wrong to be doing this to you...Jeez thats stinks. If you can't tell them what they are doing and how it makes you feel, write them a letter. Tell them to grow up and involving a 16 year old in their battles.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this
2006-10-12 05:35:16 · answer #8 · answered by Bodieann 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what its like even tho your parents are going thru what they going thru like a divorce remember that its not your fault and its between the both of them but they shouldnt involve you because you dnt do anything just stay strong and always make sure to pray to god and ask him to give you the strenth to deal with this matter and he will trust me do it !!! pour your heart out to him oh yeah if a person comes to your house and want to share with you somthing about the bible tell them your problem and they can be answerd by the bible youd be suprized!
2006-10-12 05:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by 411 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've had that happen to me... The best thing to do is...
1) tell them u don't want to hear it anymore, It's none of your business...
2) turn your back and walk away...
2006-10-12 04:48:27 · answer #10 · answered by shoot.bang 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋