My husband thinks that I shoud pay the extra childcare costs for our 1 child together if I work OT, but it would take everything extra I make. Right now, I only work 2 days during the week, and every other weekend. We keep our income seperate property (His doing). I need to pay off old credit card debt and student loans. There is no way for me to get ahead when he limits how much I can work! My bills are mine, and I pay the car payment for the family car, groceries, everyone's clothes, and all expenses for my 2 children from my previous marriage. He has 2 houses he owns, investments, and no debt. I am 13 years younger, and have nothing. He is a lawyer, and I am a secretary. Does this sound fair? Who should pay for the childcare for our 1 child together?
2006-10-12 04:20:09 · 16 answers · asked by tinasavage72 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, he did have me sign a prenup. Everything that he has acquired before the marriage is his, and included that his future earned income is his seperate income, no rights to inherit his property when he dies, no spousal support if we divorce, joint custody of our son with a limit on child support, etc. Lot's of details since he drew it up himself, and I did not have a lawyer.
2006-10-12 05:35:06 · update #1
Also, to be fair to him, my bills were created by me with student loans that I have for college, and expenses from having 2 older children to support whom I don't get child support for. And, I shop for everything extra that our family needs, including all of our clothes (husbands, too), groceries, etc.
He pays the household bills, including his mortgage (owns individually) and all utilities.
2006-10-12 05:41:28 · update #2
I have to work since my husband is in private practice, I provide the medical insurance for the whole family. And I have my own bills.
2006-10-12 05:47:45 · update #3
Seems like it would be a tax liability for him to have you work at all!
Tell him pony up or he can pay in divorce!
2006-10-12 04:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I for one dont believe that a husband and wife should have separate accounts and split things. Bottom line is that you are a family and should pay things as a family. He is selfish and not totally on board with being married. I bet if the roles were reversed he would feel different. What happens if you lose your job? I am sure he would give you a loan, haha. When he married you, he knew you had children and should be a man and take them in as if they were his own. What message does that send to your children? He sounds like a real jerk! If I did that to my wife then I guess she and the kids would starve to death.
2006-10-12 04:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds extremely controlling, and it makes me suspicious that he has insisted on keeping your finances separate. Like he's not planning this to be a permanent thing. This is not fair, but maybe it would be good for you to work the OT and pay for the child care, because it will get you ready for when he leaves you, or for when you get fed up with his controlling behavior and leave him. A couple's financies should be one of things that merges together when you get married. He has no respect for you and thinks of you as less because of your income. That's not only unfair, it's disgusting.
2006-10-12 04:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by LisaT 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a typical greedy lawyer; you should have never married him. Divorce his sorry a s s and look for a new model who will appreciate you for the hard working person you are. You are being screwed and having no fun so tell him to lighten up and fly right or hit the road.
2006-10-12 06:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't buy groceries, don't pay the car payment let them start calling it is his credit too. Don't buy him clothes or do the laundry, cause you ran out of soap. If he is eating the food and driving the car and wearing clean clothes then he needs to fork over some cash. second of all when you married you became one, tell him this and make him join the bank accounts together.
2006-10-12 05:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by Joesmoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married to one really cheap man. Why in the hell did you marry this man and have a child with him ?? You should divorce him and take half of what he has for being such a cheap bastard. He should be paying for most of the expenses being that he makes like 10 times what you make.
2006-10-12 04:26:26 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not fair at all....but maybe I am old fashion! I make a little more than him and my wife does not have to work and she controls all the money and she does a great job in all that she does...It is a full time job taking care of the me and the house..I think he is out of line!
2006-10-12 04:28:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you husband has achieved well for himself.
He waited until he was established before starting a family.
However, you sound like you have made bad decisions.
It you decision to work overtime or not.
If money is tight for you find a better job.
Both of these options are your decision.
Your husband should not have to pay for your choices.
Fair? YES
2006-10-12 04:56:02 · answer #8 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is more of a bread winner then you ...... no disrespect intended. if the two of you are married then everything should be split down the middle. did you sign a prenup? if not then you should really talk to him and ask him to help out more with the bills, yours and his there is no separate in a marriage. when he married you he also got everything that came with you.
2006-10-12 04:25:41 · answer #9 · answered by melanie s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got yourself a really selfish husband. If he's really a lawyer, he should know that if you leave him, it'll cost him a lot more than frigging child care. What an ***. Good luck with that.
2006-10-12 05:29:40 · answer #10 · answered by Redhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋