So I've been seeing this wonderful guy, everything was going great, it got serious enough that we decided that sex was ok. (mind you, we're two consenting adults) Sex was great, up until the end. I realized that he just didn't seem all that into it and then HE faked the orgasm. (like this isn't obvious when a male does it.) Anyway, when confronted with it he claimed that it had just been a long time, that was all. Now, I myself am feeling as though perhaps he just wasn't into it with me, or there's more serious problems like sexual orientation problems.... I've read somewhere before that there is some truth to that "use it or lose it." Something about not using the muscles that you use to orgasm and losing them temporarily. *shrug* Anyway, I just wanted some opinions on this. Should I be concerned? Should I let it go? Is sexual orientation a possible issue here? Has this happened to anyone else? Guys, is there truth to the use it or lose it?
2006-10-12 03:52:14 · 18 answers · asked by lynzi_n_bridges 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Likely if he hasn't used it for some time then he would have orgasm rather quickly, anyways should you give him further opportunities then the issue will become clearer. What sort of muddles the situation is that he performed great all the way until the problematic ending. Many things including orientation comes into play, if you're the curious sort, then you'll find enough info to make a clearer judgment. Least you did confront him about a male's sensitive issue, so you'll find out for sure.
2006-10-12 04:07:58 · answer #1 · answered by sunshine25 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you made additional attempts since that episode?
While it IS possible that your concerns are valid, it is also quite possible that his answers are legitimate. If it was the first time, nervousness, performance anxiety, and many other factors can effect his ability to perform including E.D.. Sometimes these stresses and other factors can have the opposite effect as well in terms of premature issues.
Before you worry too much, give it another go. Make sure it's a comfortable setting and that the situation isn't awkward. If he's still not to standard, it's time to start worrying. At least one more try is only fair before making an assessment. Good luck!
2006-10-12 03:59:49 · answer #2 · answered by Smoove B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if his behavior around you is loving and caring and he's always there for you, then I wouldn't be concerned if I were you.
However, it could be that his aging is making it more difficult for him to come to an orgasm and he may be embarrassed by this. You should sit down and have a talk with him and ask him is that what it is. Because, it is common with male adults and if so, he can get it checked out and get on Viagra.
2006-10-12 03:55:18 · answer #3 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...I have news here. Not having sex in "a long time" has nothing to do with it. Quite the opposite really. Hence quick orgasams or worse...the dreaded premature ejaculation.
What is his age? Was he drinking prior to this? there are a lot of factors that must be considered here before a proper answer can even be formulated.
2006-10-12 03:58:26 · answer #4 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet heart maybe he was more into you and satisfying you than himself... I know this because I have done the same but I did not fake it... He just wanted to make you reach your orgasm. That way you will allowed a second encounter to happen. Now there is no truth on your use it or lose it theory... Now you want for him to reach his climax then it is your time to lead... He will follow... EFIL
2006-10-12 03:59:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a guy, but can tell you the "use it or lose it" thing is not true. He was probably just nervous with you. A lot of things like emotions or being tired can affect an orgasm.
It only happened once so far, so don't get rattled.
If it continues, he should see a doctor.
2006-10-12 03:58:01 · answer #6 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about it, especially after just one time. Not every guy is a "hair trigger". Yes, after a long delay, it's possible that finishing off may not...er...arrive as naturally and easily, for whatever reason. Especially if during the long time off he's become used to...other kinds of stimulation.
Certianly don't jump to ideas about his orientation! Whoa nelly!
2006-10-12 04:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by Zhimbo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently they are 2 different things although they "occur" at the same time. Now how someone could tell that he **** with out having an orgasm is beyond me. He could be trolling just by bringing up the subject though.
2016-03-28 06:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I don't know what to say but I guess if you both are in love now, then you will be able to communicate about this and work it out, However, if you don't love him and don't feel like he is into you, then why continue this relationship. These questions you are asking yourself (and us) will not evaporate and you may always feel like you are not turning him on like you know you want to be turning on the man in your life. Who knows why he is like that. I was married to a guy who wasn't into sex for the most part and it took a huge toll on my self esteem and I don't recommend it to anyone.
2006-10-12 03:58:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"use it or lose it" doesn't happen. Could be meds that he is on, especially if taking anti-depressents.
Could be he has a small one and you a large vagina so he is not getting enough stimulation. Give him a hand job and see if he cums.
Or, maybe he has a masterbation addiction. If he has masterbated 2 or 3 times prior, he has nothing left.
2006-10-12 04:41:14 · answer #10 · answered by Alfonsio Ledbetter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋