he reconnected with an old flame at a class reunion, they had a whirlwind long-distance relationship and 6 months later he moved out of our home and into hers. we have three children and have been married 26 years
2006-10-12 03:51:24 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
26 years is a long time, but the dating game is the same and,
there are more fish in the sea!
2006-10-12 03:59:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hope you'd get to my answer since you have many other kind people answering you here. There is always a way to get him back. The most important thing is: When you love somebody, set him free. Unfortunately there is no easy way to tell you what to do over in 600 letters I am limited to here. But I can tell you this: 1. Don't make him feel guilty about his decision to leave. If he is any good at all, he probably feels really bad inside about leaving. Tell him you understand. 2. Tell him you love him and things will change if he comes home. Give him your ideas. For example, you will go out with him once a week (while hiring a babsitter if needed) so you'd have your own time alone as husband and wife. But don't beg and cry. You are a mom of 4 kids. You need to show your kids, especailly if you have daughters, that mom is strong and things will be ok, with Dad around or without. A strong mom is the best thing your kids have at this point in time. 3. Try to stay happy. It sounds unbeleiveable to stay happy at a time like this. But if you relaly beleive in god and that this is god's will, than, it would be easier to see that this is a time where you need to accept your faith and deal with the situation. Be happy with your kids and plan family events. For example Mommy and kids go to the park and play ball. Enjoy the time with your kids. Give your man 2-4 months to sort out his feelings. If you really let him be, he will get back to you.
2016-03-28 06:22:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that this happened to you boy that is a long time to be married and then one day hear your husband pretty much say oops I still love my old flame. it is going to take a while for you to get over this there are 26 years of memories that are going to be hard to let go of. But you know what the best part out of all this is you have 3 great kids to enjoy the rest of your life with. I wish I could help more I hope you get help.
2006-10-12 04:12:59 · answer #3 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you have to accept his behavior to be able to move on. Accepting it will send the message to him and your children that hurting people this way is okay.
Taking time to dig deep into your heart will give you the clues you need for moving on. It may be that your desires are for him to return.... but you can't make him do anything, and you have a duty to your own heart. The hurt you feel is valid. You have a right to not accept his behavior. The only thing you need to accept right now is that what you feel is what you feel. People will tell you be strong for your children, but I say take care of your desires and your heart...Only then can you truly be strong for anything, including your children.
Tips for going authentically going through your heart and accepting your feelings... Get a book on greif. An emotional loss like this is like a death. Learning about what this loss is doing to you emotionally and healing the pain through the stages of greif, is the key to coming out of this with a strong heart.
2006-10-12 03:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by Deactivate account 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you are hurt. Find a counselor for yourself to deal with all the pain you feel. In the meantime, spend a lot of time with supportive friends and work on feeling sorry for your husband. He threw away a 26 year marriage so he can feel like he is 16 again. He's a boy in man's clothing.
2006-10-12 05:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by hannahthemovie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is terrible.I'm so sorry this happend to you.If I was you I would get a make over and start focusing on you!Just be glad that the cold hearted pig is out of your life.Get out of the house as often as possible this way your mind is on other things and not focusing in on the hurt.Try and get past the hurt and get angry!File for divorce and take him to the cleaners if you know what I mean!!!
2006-10-12 04:49:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart I know this must be painful. First of all he's not very much of a man if he can walk away from his wife and kids for some woman that he has nothing with. It sounds as though that was lust. God is against divorces except when it is concerning adultery. God says that it is lawful to divorce whenever one is committing adultery. You have to pray and ask God for the strength to move on and ask Him to heal the hurt and pain that you are feeling. Honey I know it hurts because I'm quite sure you love him and no woman wants to see her husband with another woman. Stay close with your kids and focus on their well being right now. He does not deserve you. I pray this will help you move on. There is no failure in God.
2006-10-12 04:07:23 · answer #7 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Oh, I am so sorry for you. I know this happens a lot, though. (Sometimes the woman he marries dumps him later and he tries to crawl back; sometimes he cheats on her, too) I will tell you this. It happend to a very good friend of mine. She held her head up, raised the children (who no longer respect their father) well, and, after both her kids were in college she met another man. They are happily married today and she can't remember what she first loved about her ex. The important thing is YOU have the children in your everyday life. He's lost that. Pity him.
2006-10-12 04:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A familiar story in the modern world I am sure. Heres some advice: they broke up in high school for a reason and they will not last now. At this time he will develop emotions for you again realizing his errors. He may want to come back making it difficult for you. Dont do it when he comes-a-knocking.
2006-10-12 03:59:42 · answer #9 · answered by James S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from moving on with your life...there was a case a while back where a woman in your shoes sued the other woman and won a settlement...but the state and current laws about that are unknown.
Consult a lawyer.
2006-10-12 03:55:00 · answer #10 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋