Okay, I had a friend with benefits. He is going through a divorce, and we started out as nothing serious. Then he said that he sensed that I wanted more so he broke things off. I DO want more, but not until he is ready. And I made that perfectly clear from the beginning.
So, now we are friends again. But, closer friends than we were to begin with. I know he still loves his ex (she left him) and he admitted to me that he pushed me away for his own good and that he is scared.
It takes a lot for a guy to admit that to a girl, I know that.
I have told him that I want to date other guys, and he said "that is fine as long as he knows that we are friends, and I will be coming around."
I asked him only once if he feels anything, he says "no, we are just friends."
He did bring his little girl over to my house recently to meet me though.
Now, I have another guy that I am casually seeing, and he doesn't seem jealous. Then again, I'm a girl. Sometimes I wish he would just give me a sign or flirt with me. But he says that he thinks that would be leading me on.
I know he's not ready for a relationship. And I am still friends with him regardless of what happens.
So, I need opinions, do you think if I continue to be patient and understanding toward him that he might give me a chance?
or do you think he is keeping me in radar but doing everything (like his daughter) on his own terms?
or do you think anything other than friendship with him (even in the future) would be a lost cause?
2006-10-12 03:40:02 · 7 answers · asked by Mintygoodness1 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you sure are in a tough situation and you are not alone..
the best way to find out is to ask yourself. Are you willing to wait to see whether he will get his courage back and want to be more than friends again?
If you do, then you have to be really patient and wait till that day comes. Be understanding that he is going through a phase where he is dazed and confused with regards to where is heart is pointing at. Whether it would still love his ex or whether its ready for a brand new love.
Then again...
If you feel like not waiting, then you have move on with the other guy that you are seeing. Its going to be tough at first for you have fallen to him but you will get over him as soon as you realize that you are better off with the new guy you are casually seeing.
Hope that helps.. good luck
2006-10-12 05:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by Jon 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lol......Pushing and Pulling was the line of your story, but I'm thinking that pushing and pulling may be all that he really cares about. The problem I see with friends with benefits is that sometimes the benefits get in the way of the friendship and you are little more than a booty call...........
2006-10-12 10:47:30 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW - i am going through something pretty similiar. for right now i am just being patient because i really care about him and i want to be with him, but he is not ready for a relationship and says that we are just friends too. let me know how it turns out - sorry i couldnt be much help - good luck!!
2006-10-12 10:45:24 · answer #3 · answered by JUST_ME 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are weird...some days they let u know and u do feel absolutely adored others t seems they are off the planet.......heck im married to a guy that walked out after 6 weeks of moping and if it wasnt from a friend tellin me to go round there.. i wouldnt have..i walked over there layed it on line and he was glad to see me....... go figure... i think thou u have to be prepared to make the final call and ask them for a serius answer then be prepared to walk away if it does not meet with ur needs...I was prepared that day for a knock back...and was prepared to go forward but i had to know first..
2006-10-12 10:46:54 · answer #4 · answered by cleo_alter_ego 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being friends is the best way to lead up to a serious relationship...I say wait and see if he comes around. he sounds interested in you from what you described, he's just scared to get hurt. earn his trust and he'll fall head over heels for you
2006-10-12 10:49:22 · answer #5 · answered by lamczyknic3000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my best friend by crossing the line. It became very emotional and complicated, and everyone ended up getting hurt. Make sure its worth the sacrifice. I don't think it was.
2006-10-12 10:43:59 · answer #6 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do what makes YOU feel good--be a little more selfish, stop thinking so much
2006-10-12 10:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋