If you fell out of love with your husband/wife would you leave or would you try to rekindle that love. But you have tried that many times?
2006-10-12 03:32:14 · 34 answers · asked by jules 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yea, leave him high and dry. find somebody who loves you and your three children. If my mom did it, so can you.
2006-10-12 03:34:35 · answer #1 · answered by Brad A 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I saw an interview with a couple who had been married 70 years, they were asked what was there secret.....
"We never fell out of love with each other at the same time."
I have found this rings true even in my own marriage.
In this day and age of divorce being almost a promise, it should be included in the marriage vowes!..('till divorce do us part)
If you loved this man enough to marry and ultimately bear children with him then I think it your responsibility to work things out. Sit him down and talk to him tell him exactly what you feel, that you don't really love him anymore. tell him that you want to love him again and maybe you two can come up with a solution. Be honest with him, if your not you won't be able to fix the problem.
After children enter a marriage the attention that was once focused on each other has now now shifted to your individual roles as parents. The romance and passion that once was so easy and natural now takes work and planning. Believe me, a little effort spent rekindling the romance of your relationship with your significant other is worth your children not being a statistic of growing up in a broken home.
2006-10-12 03:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by mommy of two! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life gets boring, it's called reality, I've always wondered how women can fall out of love with their men, certainly when the situation is reversed men often find it impossible to fall out of love with the woman he has married, even after he has been multiply unfaithful. History is full of men who have strung women along but never had the guts to make the break from their marriages.
Are men better liars than women? Are we all just vein and shallow or do we just go off people as they get older?
Love should be unconditional however usually women go off their men when they don't get their own way, life becomes a battle ground over the smallest things. Turn the situation around for a second, when was the last time a man asked you for anything other than love and loyalty and why is that so easy to give up on the man who, not so long ago, was 'the man of your dreams'.
Do we put life on a pedestal, do we see fictional situations on TV and wonder 'why can't my life be so scary/exciting?' and fail to let our heads remind us that TV was invented to entertain us and that life is not perfect all the time, on TV everything usually works out fine in the end, in life the only cirtainty is death.
Life is painful and lonley sometimes and our relationships break down when communication breaks down but why does it always fall on the man to have to make the right gesture?
True, men are bastards, however women can often be unreasonably emotionally selfish demanding lavish praise when we've all had a **** day and the energy we invest turns into your question.
Sexual equality has been established in many areas of life but the changing roles of both men and women seems to leave a gap that only buying a puppy or joining a religious cult seems able to solve.
2006-10-12 04:14:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will assume he is a nice guy, but you just don't love him. How old are the children? If they are already teenagers, stick out the marriage until the last one leaves home (divorce is tough on kids). If the children are still very small, it's a bigger problem. You need to figure out why the love left your relationship and see a marriage counselor together. If he won't go, go alone. THEN, if you can't get the love back, and living with him is intolerable, you may have to leave. But I'd give it one last try since there are children involved and he's their father. After all, you did promise "for better or for worse." Maybe the better is coming.
2006-10-12 03:37:17 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself...Why did you fall out of love with him?...Once you have the answer,thats the only time you will be able to rekindle the fires...I know having children takes alot of energy to raise and having to give them your undivided attetion can be taxing on a relationship.You have to remember something,you fell in love with him because.....????? Think of the reasons why you did and fill in the blanks...You are probablly over looking it and feel like its hopeless and you need to move on...Before you throw iit in the garbage,do some soul searching and then find a babysitter to watch the kids overnight...Take him out on a date and start the fire up again....You might just find that you are still in love and just needed to jump start it..I would really hate to see you walk away from your marriage without trying all the possibilies there are.Be creative and let the flames burn white hot again...Good luck...
2006-10-12 03:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by Frank D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried to rekindle an old flame that just won't light, and you're not happy, then you have the right to leave.
However, you do have to ask yourself will your children be living with stability and a steady income without their parents being together.
Also, sometimes it's better not to stay together for the kids. That will only cause the kids to grow up realizing their childhood was a lie and that their mother and father weren't even happy together.
Follow your heart and although it will be tough for your kids, things always have a way of working themselves out.
2006-10-12 03:35:04 · answer #6 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Been there done that & with 3 kids, can you bare to be near him ? let him touch you? do you feel that you are only there for the children ? do you not want to leave the safety of your home and things you have? there are so many questions and you will always find a answer to the exact opposite of what YOU really want. Life is too short if your not happy and in love get out - time is a great healer and you will get your life back on track again and perhaps one day feel in love again (i did & have never looked back) good luck be strong for yourself (remember all the kids will leave home one day & they woudnt put their life on hold for you)
2006-10-13 01:25:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship with your husband is completely independent of the relationship your children have with their father. If you do not love your partner then you should decide whats best for you. Do not stay with someone you do not love because you feel it is best for the children. He can still be a fantastic father even if you two do not live together. Your children will grow up and eventually leave.
2006-10-13 05:56:02 · answer #8 · answered by angelab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not possible to fall out of love. At the risk of sounding harsh, either you never loved him to begin with or both of you are not working hard to keep the marriage strong. It's too easy to walk away, do the work that it takes to get the marriage back to where it needs to be. You have 3 wonderful children together, it's worth a little work to make sure they continue to have a loving mom & dad that are together and happy. It's possible. Want it, and work for it. Marriage is hard when you have daily responsibilities, but it's worth it at the end of the day. Good Luck!
2006-10-12 03:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by favrd1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
there are two sides to this story what does your husband feel have you any emotional problems maybe depression?paranoid personality disorder?are you sure you have tryed to rekindle your love? do you know what love is? try your very best for the children they need their father and weekends are not enough!
if its mutual then split,tell the children,don't argue/fight at the end of the day life goes on but living without your children is heartbreaking............sob
sorry to be to the point......ask yourself first what have i done to rectify this problem. communication is the key
2006-10-12 08:30:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would, the children will be more contented and happy with one happy parents than two miserable ones. I have four children I would leave. You say you keep rekindling, so ask yourself why are you trying again, only you can decide whats right for you.
2006-10-12 03:38:42 · answer #11 · answered by Lisa P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋