he doen't have sex with me and if he does its only when he wants it or when we haven't had a fight and everything goes perfectly so he says. he does this while i'm sleeping right next to him or when we had an arguement and i take a shower he watches it. just give me an answer. i feel direspected.
2006-10-12 03:23:18 · 41 answers · asked by sweetiepie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
NOT WRONG TO LEAVE HIM
2006-10-12 03:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by jack jack 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So he'd rather watch porn which doesn't demand anything of him than have sex with you? That's harsh. I'm all for people watching porn on their own time, but there are limits. If you've already discussed this with him and told him how it makes you feel, then you may want to look into changing your situation. There are 4 major ways to deal with any problem:
1. Change
2. Make the best of it
3. Quit
4. Be Miserable
First speak with him, tell him how it makes you feel and see if you can come up with a compromise. He can watch porn when you're not at home and you can get more sex.
Second find ways to be apart of the experience. Perhaps hop on while he's watching the porn.
Third, leave him be alone for awhile and look for someone who is more interested in you than porn.
Fourth, live with it and be miserable.
Good luck!
2006-10-12 03:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by Brianna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is wrong for a man to watch porn, Its in there nature. However, I would be mad if he liked porn more than me. I don't think leaving him is the answer but you probably should talk about your sex life together. Is he not getting what he wants from you? Does he have a fantasy that you can not fulfill? Don't worry to much about it. Maybe you could watch the porn with him. My boyfriend and I do that. he gets what he likes and I don't mind watching it actually helps get me in the mood a little more! Good luck
2006-10-12 03:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by BOOTS! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how long you have been married and how much you have invested in the marriage (home, cars, other real estate, investments). Way too often we dissolve this partnership we call marriage for selfish reasons.
A marriage is indeed a partnership, how much do you have to lose, if the answer is nothing, I say leave why be unhappy. On the other hand if things are good financially stick it out and find some sexual gratification of your own that doesn't include him, grant you'll be happier, he'll notice it, and it'll either restore the marriage or give you more reasons to leave.
Good luck.
2006-10-12 03:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jazz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The issue isn't porn. The issue is that you've lost intimacy with your husband.
No matter what, your feelings have worth. I don't like 'making' anyone do anything. So please don't say "it's me or porn" because that will come back and bight you in the butt. He'll either say porn and you'll have to leave or he'll say you and hide the porn.
I suggest getting counseling at this point. It is unnatural for him to want porn more than you. It's probably a deeper issue than you can handle on your own. It's not your fault, but please try to help him before you leave him. If he refuses your help and does not warrant your feelings as honest and worthy, then start thinking about leaving.
Good luck.
2006-10-12 03:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by Lola 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are being disrespected and ignored, do not listen to those who say he has an addiction and just needs help..they have done plenty of studies showing that a normal stable male will not become addicted to porn, it is merely him being an *** to you and not respecting your wishes. No it would not be wrong of you to leave him for this, he would probably leave you for much less damage if you were to continually disrespect him. I suggest having a very long drawn out conversation with him about this if it doesn't help your situation and he still continues, research your options and make a plan to do something for yourself. If that means leaving then so be it.
If he says he will stop and frequents porn sites on the Internet or computer you can make sure he is sticking to his word by getting a key logger you can find one at www.download.com for free but I would recommend getting one called "Spy Recon" the basic version is $39.95 and the complete is $79.95. Good luck!
2006-10-12 03:34:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love someone and some 'thing' (anything NOT vital) that you're doing upsets, degrades, displeases or offends that person you love, why would you continue in that behavior?
The bible says that the only reason to divorce is infidelity (perhaps physical abuse as well it's 'iffy') but if he's abandoned you for internet porn it's practically the same thing.
Perhaps you should give him an ultimatum. Ask him to get couples counseling with you. If he refuses, go without him. You'll feel better and a qualified therapist will have resources to guide you in a course to resolve your problems... one way or another!
Best of luck to you! (I think he's a cad!)
2006-10-12 03:30:34 · answer #7 · answered by clair_dlune 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry this is happening. Guys are visually oriented, its just the way we are. Plus nature has wired us to want shall we say new fields to plow--it has been nature's way to keep the gene pool varied and healthy for millions of years of mammal evolution. It does not make marriage easy, however. I know it must be emotionally painful for you and I am sorry about that. Try not to take it personally, try not to let it bother you. If there are good things about your husband and your marriage, try to keep that in perspective and do your best to ignore the things that you find unpleasant. Its a natural and unavoidable conflict that happens because of differences in male and female biology, its because of the way each sex is made differently and with different drives, but it does not reflect at all negatively on you. Nor on him. Again, I am sorry its a problem. Good luck!!!
2006-10-12 03:30:09 · answer #8 · answered by jxt299 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to turn your life into a porn movie to ween him off the stuff. I shall be clear: all men look at porn. They can't help it. And it doesn't have to be a bad thing. But most guys are highly sexed. He probably needs it more often and with more variety in your relationship. If your sex life is good he will feel less inclined to seek this stuff out.
2006-10-12 03:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by Bob M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things 1)Watch it with him and get into it or 2) Talk to him about it and tell him your feelings on porn and how you think him watching it is disrespectful to you. Yelling doesn't solve anything and will only drive him to watch more of it. You have to be an adult about this. I am sure there are things that you do that he doesn't like, so be prepared for him to bring up your baggage.
2006-10-12 03:27:21 · answer #10 · answered by danzahn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont feel theres any thing wrong with watching porn a lot of men like porn to leave over that issue is silly but it sounds like you have other issues other than porn
2006-10-12 03:30:42 · answer #11 · answered by Topper B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋