I stayed in a violent r/ship 4 6yrs,after 3 broken ribs and bust lips and also the cheating i finally got the courage to walk away.Its been 2 yrs now and i'm in a r/ship wiv a guy its been 6mths,he admitted e cheated on his x bcoz the r/ship was ova but neither of them wud leave the home and he was still paying evrything while she paid 4 nothin,he eventually gave up the home and moved out.How do i get past the fear that e will cheat on me n i worry that he could be violent 2wards me?Or am i living in the past?Should i trust my partner who loves me and will do anything 4 me and my 3 children
2006-10-12 03:20:50 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you kidding?? Anyone who laid a hand on me would be in jail. I would suggest that you do the same. You won't change him, so stop hoping for nothing. Report him or leave, its that easy. If he really loved you, you wouldn't be bearing those painful scars inside and out.
2006-10-12 03:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by Obi-wan Kenobi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first, I want to commend you for getting the strength to leave that situation. but I know that you compare every relationship with the bad one that you had which is understandable. although it has been 2yrs you have to realize that it is 6yrs of abusive memories that you have to contend with and just don't prejudge or accuse him of something because of your past. trust is something that is earned and not just given -- realize that this is a relationship of only 6months so continue to learn him and get to know him and if his words and action warrants trust then give him the trust that he deserves but don't be blinded either for fear of possibly losing him or him becoming violent . just stay aware but not too aware an cautious as to not enjoy the new relationship.
2006-10-12 10:37:39 · answer #2 · answered by chocolatefancier 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing is it's always hard to let go of the past but if he loves you and you feel the same then you should talk to him let him know how you feel and then maybe the two of you can work on the issues together.i believe that the key to any good relationship is love and trust without one or the other then all you have is a friend
2006-10-12 10:27:34 · answer #3 · answered by laqueeta l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The new guy can apparently be trusted about telling you the truth... because he didn't try to hide it from you.
Talk to him about>>> needing repeated assurance from him that he can be trusted concerning not behaving violently, because the relationship would be over if he ever behaved violently... you got out of it before & you'd do it again... let him know where you stand... make him know that you mean it.
You can trust him better... when he proves himself to be trustworthy.
2006-10-12 10:47:25 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like Ronald Reagan said, "Trust everyone but verify." You have reasons to be cautious, but there's a difference to being cautious and being paranoid. Give him the benefit of the doubt until you're sure. If you're sure, then act upon it--either marry him or get out.
2006-10-12 10:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by heyrobo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does have a history of cheating.You will obviously have a hard time trusting him.As far as the violence,if this man hasn't given you any reason to be concerned then I wouldn't worry about it.Time will tell.
2006-10-12 10:24:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
really the only thing i can say is get into counseling, and it will help you with your fears. i'm gad you made it through that and live to talk about it. Believe or not, not all guys hit. Good luck, stay strong.
2006-10-12 10:24:56 · answer #7 · answered by shorte716 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only time will tell, trust is earned not given automatically. Communication should be open and honest. Good luck!
2006-10-12 10:23:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋