we already have 2, very perfect children......we have their friends over alot, I volunteer at school,, I know hubbys right about this, babys are expensive, and time consuming, anyways,,,, is my clock ticking or something, it feel like an ACHE,,,, everytime I see a baby,,,,,,,make it stop.......
2006-10-12 02:46:28 · 17 answers · asked by kiss me under the mistletoe 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I just want everyone to know what happens when you get a dog, instead of a baby(I did that, it went bad) he ends up being a spoiled brat of a dog, watch Dr Wisperer, he'll tell you why.
2006-10-13 15:09:18 · update #1
Hi, Cat. You need a realistic idea of what you want. How do you know you won't just ache for a 4th after the 3rd, and then a 5th, and then a 6th.... at some point it has to be "enough" even if your body is screaming at you for more, more, more! If you feel you can realistically afford a 3rd and you'll definately be done after that, maybe write out your feelings and show it to your husband.
2006-10-12 03:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U'll fel like another baby until u have it then u will wish u had listened to ur hubby. He's right they r expensive and the more u have the less u will have for the older two. Each child demands a certain part of ur budget and valuable time that u will be denying the others when the new one comes into the world. Ur hubby is being practical plus he remembers the early morning sickness u went through with the other two seems more thanu do and the mid-nightly feedings, and all those mornings when u needed more sleep but couldn't because the baby needed something or the other. Keep looking at those other cuties and remeber when u and him had to go through all the awful nights. If some of those babies u see r related ask if u can help their mom out by keeping them over night to give them a break see how that works. R u crazy? Mid-mom or life crisis seems to me is more the answer.
2006-10-12 10:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the bending. On this issue, a double-jointed Pilates instructor couldn't be that flexible.
This is not to say that compromise isn't essential to building bridges over many a marital impasse — you give an evening of intimacy (okay, 15 minutes) in exchange for a girls' night out. But here there is simply no item of equivalent value that you can present for barter. (I'll let you buy a sports car if you give me a baby? Yikes.) In any case, I bet you don't want a sperm donor. You want an involved, loving dad.
The best way to achieve this end isn't through compromise, but conversation. You need to talk about why your husband doesn't want a second child and why you do. As you probably know, this may unpack all sorts of nasty baggage, so you may need an objective valet to help. (No, not your mom. I was thinking of a counselor.)
Once you're both open and honest about your motivations, you can start addressing the real concerns and come to a mutual decision. And if that doesn't work, remind him that "trying" for another baby means he'll get more than his usual 15 minutes of fame.
Parenting, September 2005
2006-10-12 09:56:48 · answer #3 · answered by Dino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too had three perfect little children but wanted another and my hubby said no. That was 10 years ago and I really resented my hubby for a while but then as time went by I saw how great our life was and got over the ache. Guess what, we got pregnant last year and I was the one that was upset and scared. I had gotten over wanting another and saw this pregnancy as a problem instead of the wonderful blessing that it was. It was my hubby that convinced me things happen for a reason and that this baby would be a godsend. Well, our little miracle baby is now 9 months old and the apple of my eye but it took my husband to convince me of this. I truly believe things happen for a reason and she was supposed to be here to complete our family. Give it some time and I bet it will all work out for you and your family. Just be happy with what you have and maybe you too will get a bonus round as my husband and I have. Good Luck!
2006-10-12 09:54:30 · answer #4 · answered by busybusymom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I want three children also, I have one child already and he's one. We are going to try in about 6 months to a year. If you have them spread out it shouldn't be a problem. If your husband doesn't want another child and you still do then tell him that your the one that does all the cleaning and taking care of them. Most men do not take care of them when they are babies and they get jealous. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to have another baby in the house. Maybe if you wait for both kids to be in school he will want to have another baby, that way you can spend time with the baby. If he completely is against having another one there's nothing you can really do about thinking about it. It seems as though you stay busy and are constantly on the go he might just want for you to slow down and take time for the two of you. Maybe after you show him how much you want one then maybe he will too.
Sincerely yours,
Laurie
2006-10-12 10:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i was that way also. i had three boys and still wanted more. we had another baby and this time it was a girl and now i feel i am done. it's been three years and no wishing for more. do you only have girls or boys, maybe it's that you don't have one or the other and want to . if it is meant to be it will happen. when we got pregnant with our daughter i was on the pill so it wasn't planned, but it ended up working out great. best wishes
2006-10-12 10:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by Syri S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend that was in hte same situation that you are in. She wantes another baby and her husband had not even accepted the fact that they already had two children. She began to focus all her aching energy into the two children they already had and showing her husband how much more love her had to give. After all this they were pregnant (unplanned) and they are the best parents that I know. If it is ment to be it will happen.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-10-12 09:50:56 · answer #7 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
There's nothing wrong with you but you're experiencing the empty nest syndrome. You feel that all too familiar ache of an actual baby, not just childern. I'm assuming it will pass, many women go through this.
2006-10-12 09:48:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need something to occupy your time and you feel babys are it. Find a hobby or start a home business, take a coure and buy some books on self cofidence. Be happy with you.
2006-10-12 10:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get that sinsation a lot.. Like I feel the need to nurse a baby.. Then I go to a place that has a lot of kids and them remeber how easy I have it with haveing mine older and easier.
2006-10-12 09:54:18 · answer #10 · answered by 9929 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋