I am very alone in my marriage. My wife is clearly unhappy (check most recent question to get details on that). I want to make her happy again and crave this marriage and desire me. But my problem is, I find it difficult to give and give and give with nothing in return. I also find it difficult to hide my pain and my hurt. I want to smile and laugh with her, I want to act like everything is ok and normal, but how do I go about doing that on a consistent basis. It seems like I can do it for a short period of time but when nothing changes or I am not receiving her love or desire in return, I either become angry or sad. I just don't know how to act in this situation. i don't want to seperate, we have a daughter and i just won't leave my family. But it's very tough trying to find the best way to handle this situation. Sometimes I'm afraid if I show too much happiness, she'll think I'm ok with where things are. But if I show I'm hurt, she will be turned away from even more. Help
2006-10-12 02:11:48 · 7 answers · asked by imagineus2night 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sound to me like you and your wife needs some conseling.
2006-10-12 02:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to talk. Find out whats on her mind. Does she stay home and take care of your daughter? If so, maybe she's just really bored. Take her away for the weekend and just concentrate on the two of you.
Try not to get down. It will only make things worse. You can make this better. Show her everything that she loves about you, be attentive, even when she's withdrawn. Find out whats changed in her and try to make it better. Best of all...act as if none of this is bothering you and be happy and respectful. She'll wonder whats going on and change her attitude. Think happy thoughts and don't let her see you down. Some women actually like to make men feel bad. Just remember you are doing everything you can and you are a great person.
2006-10-12 09:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by toobusy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your problem. My wife is the same way. We were both brought up diffrent. My family is very affectionate and really close to each other. Her family is not that way. I show her tons of attition and I don't get very much in return from her. But I love her and she loves me. As much as it bothers me to do all the little things I do for her and she doesnt do them for me I know she is faithfull to me and loves me I cant blame her for being raised the way that she was. I have stopped doing some of the special little things I do for her and she notices that When she ask me if something is wrong I then have chance to talk to her a little about it. That way she kinda brings up the subject instead of me just coming right out and saying something.
2006-10-12 09:26:48 · answer #3 · answered by what to do 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Damn if you ...damned if you don't. I am unsure how she needs to act. My way would be treat her as you would want her to treat you. If you act like you just don't care anymore, she will proably feel like it's over-what's the use to try any longer.
If you try to act happy all the time, You are right, she will think that you are ok with how things are going. So, I fall back to this...Love her just as you wish she would you. As long as you can. Have you been to the doctor to get on some meds to help with the depression. It wouldn't hurt, it's nothing to be ashamed about, and it will help. You are asking your heart to accept these things, and your head is telling you it's not right. To be able to cope with it you are going to have to turn both of them off for awhile. I truly wish that she would seek some help, together would be ideal.
Have you ever just told her..that you felt like you were being forced to leave? That her pushing you away emotionally and physically..makes you feel unwanted, unneeded, and that you just don't know how much longer you can take it? Maybe she just needs a wake call. I don't know, if I did I would gladly tell you. You can't make her feel things, you can't make her love you, but she's throwing so many mixed signals that you are having to figure out. You need a map, and she's the only one that can help. That's not what you want to hear, and it's surely not want I wanted to say. If you have told her your feelings, then silently you must suffer..till she returns to your arms or till you just can't take it any longer. But please please your little girl needs her Daddy. So don't let this ruin you, and it can. Take care of you for her.
Ps. I tried to email you back but it wouldn't let me, I wanted to thank you for kind words, it was nice to know that I did help a little, and I surely wish the best for all of you....
2006-10-12 15:01:00 · answer #4 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are confused about all of this then you should sit and talk with her and explain to her how you are honestly feeling. The two of you have been together long enough for you to be able to express your wants & opinions. Right?
Good Luck.
2006-10-12 10:08:11 · answer #5 · answered by bigred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell your wife how u feel, suggest counseling. or maybe your marriage is over because her love for you drifted away.
2006-10-12 10:23:44 · answer #6 · answered by sexy_love_vi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to talk to each other and really listen to each other
2006-10-12 09:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋