I am 22 weeks and just to be fair to my husband who is really good to me I have had alot of problems with fibroids on my scyatic nerve which causes contractions and sharp pains in my legs. Lets put it this way I have far more bad days than good and my good days are really so far and few apart. Dr said at first no sex and we got the green light last week. We had sex once afterwards I did have contractions but we knew that could happen. I had one of my best days yesterday and really wanted to be with my husband and he said he was tired. I get tired of trying because I get turned down alot, even if it's just pleasing him. Yes I know I could do this myself but I miss my husband any suggestions? He knew he hurt my feelings and I tried to be understanding that he was tired but id like to have mine too! Should I be so upset that rejection is starting to be so common? This was happening before i got pregnent but now it's making me fustrated and angry. Talked to him and still no resolution.
2006-10-12 01:41:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I know exactly how you feel, as my hubby is the same way. We do go through times where its not bad, and we have sex 5-6 times in a month, but I have a higher sex drive than him, and I am the one bugging for it, and getting regected. It hurts, and it sucks. I used to get really mad, you can't help it, my chest would tighten, and I would think of all these things I coudl sy to him, but I bit my tounge. We have had many discusions over this topic. When I was pregnant, we never had sex past week 25 until once at week 34, which put my into early labour! lol, go figure. He just didn't feel comfortable when I started really showing, and said tha twhen we would start fooling around, it would make him think of the baby, and the mucous plug, and all the non sexy things, so I tried to be understanding about it, alot of guys just don't feel comfortable during later pregnancy, especially if they had a lower drive before. Now our son is 2, and on and off we have had these issues, the best advice I can give you, is try not to bug him about the sex. tell him how you feel, and that you can comprimise with him, but he needs to accept and understand your needs too. One thing that worked for us for a while, is we made an agrement that I would initiate 3 times a month, and he would initiate 3 times a month. That way, he was not rejecting me (although it still happened sometimes, but not as often) and he was initiating, after doing this for a couple of months, it wasn't an issue for a while, I never even thought about it, because he was meeting my needs. That has slowed down lately, but he has been on straight nights, so, I have to be understanding, and we are TTC, so, its really scheduled. Just remember that it is not you, has nothing to do with how much he loves you, its just a lack of sexual desire that I don't think we will every fully get. I still don't really get it, but the comprimise and talking about your feelings surrounding the issues help. Just remember to tread lightly as this is a hard talk for the husbands, just because the drive isn't there, doesn't mean the ego surrounding the issue isn't. Good luck with your baby, and the sex life!
2006-10-12 02:59:24 · answer #1 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not know if i will be much help to u. but i had a stitch put in at 20 weeks and have not been able to have sex with my partner since then and i am now 36 weeks. but we are engaged and i love him and he loves me. we both understand that we can not do it. but he never makes me feel pressuered. maybe ur husband is scared about what might happen to the baby. i was at huge risk of loosin the baby if i did not follow doctors orders. maybe just talk things over with him. my partner by all means is not one to open up with out me voicing my concerns first.
2006-10-12 01:49:06 · answer #2 · answered by rowanjess06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was doing this too, i have no condition that would make sex a concern but he was working alot trying to get these projects out on time. So i stopped trying sick of rejection sick of him not wanting to try. Then after just three days of me not wanting him he wanted me. Guess guys just want to feel they can't have what they want. Try this and see if it works for you. good luck.
2006-10-12 02:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first off...why have sex if it causes you to get contractions? it just puts more stress on you and the baby...and second..im sure it isnt anything youve done in particular. he might just be too afraid to have sex with you because of what can happen to you and the baby. guys get scared and insecure as well and they dont know how to express it like us women do . best of luck
2006-10-12 01:46:11 · answer #4 · answered by clubsandra 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to talk to him again and i mean really talk, explain this was happening before you got pregnant, tell him how much it is upsetting you,tell him you understand he is tired. is this first child for your husband maybe he is getting scared or anxious maybe he is worrying about things. it could be lots of things you need to talk and dont come away till it is sorted out as this is bothering you
2006-10-12 01:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by crazycase2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He ought to in easy terms be drained. in basic terms like women have those cases while have been drained and dont desire to have intercourse, adult men have those cases to. try somethin new, push em up against the wall. Do somethin completely out of your ingredient, thatll turn em on :)
2016-10-02 05:29:45 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't be concerned. He is probably just worried that he could hurt you. Also, if having sex causes you to get contrations, is it worth it?
2006-10-12 01:52:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, you should be concerned. Talk to him again!
2006-10-12 01:43:08 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes hate to be rude but he might be cheating... this is unusual behavior, be aware of everything he's doing
2006-10-12 01:46:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋