I found out about a month ago that my boyfriend of 5 years cheated on me last year with a girl from work. I found txt messages on his phone last year. He swore that they were just friends. She was 17 at the time (almost 18). He finally stopped talking to her after about 6-7 months of fighting and asking him to stop talking to her. Then he said he got an email from her a couple days after his bday(end of July). He said he mail her back telling her happy bday (hers is a few days later). And it just went from there. I found out about a month into it. He said they only had sex 1 time, last year (among OTHER things). I read A LOT of stuff in the emails. I decided to stay with him because I do love him, but how the hell do I get the images and thoughts to STOP!!??? When we have sex, I just keep thinking "did he do this with her?" "did he do this like that with her?" And the words in the mails are in my head CONSTANTLY! I've talked to this girl and she seems CRAZY!! Someone PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!
2006-10-12 01:32:46 · 11 answers · asked by Kristin K 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I didn't think I would ever find someone after I got divorced. I have a son with cerebral palsy and he's helped me so much with him. We met on the internet and he moved from NC to MD for me. We never really had any fights or anything until last year with this damn girl! We didn't really talk a lot either. But, since this has all come out, I've just been saying whatever is on my mind. Any question I have, I just ask him. And he's been honest about it, from what i can tell. He says he wants to be with me and this was the biggest mistake he's ever made in his life. He tells me he's so sorry multiple times a day. My son was in the hosp. for 3 months at the begining of the year and almost died. And he was there for me. My son was home for about a month over the summer, and it was just me and him ALL day. Then when my boyfriend came home HE wanted attention. So, I just felt like I had no time for myself. And I told him that I thought of breaking up too, but I would NEVER do what he did!!
2006-10-12 02:07:13 · update #1
I think the girl is crazy! He told me that a couple days after they had sex, she came to work and told him that she was pregnant!! Then a day or two later told him not to worry about it, she had it taken care of!! For 1, he told me that he didn't finish, and for 2, he told me that he wore a condom!! When I talked to her, every word was a lie! He said she was very pushy, and when he tried to tell her that he didn't want to cheat on me anymore, she told him "No, no, no"...and started kissing him and then went down on him to shut him up!! I just want to be happy again with him. We have been talking A LOT more about things, so that has helped a little bit. And she got fired last year, so she doesn't work there anymore, but she's friends with the guy that works in the bay next to my boyfriend. He's an auto mechanic. I just want this crap out of my head!!
2006-10-12 02:19:23 · update #2
My husband cheated on me. I never talked to the girl. I never saw the girl. I did not want to. To me, it was not the girl, it was the husband. I could not make myself understand, at what point was I not important enough for him to say no.
I was haunted by the idea of the girl though. All I knew about the girl was her name. That name haunted me at every waking moment. Every second I was awake, that name just repeated over and over in my mind. I could not forgive him. I had no trust for him anymore. As much as I had thought I loved him, evidentally, I did not, because I could not trust him. I could not over come what had happened, even though I tried for months. After I left my husband, I was able to regain a peace of mind. Some things in life we have no control over. One of those things is our spouse, another is our heart.
Only you will know if you can truly forgive him and move on. Only you will know if you can truly trust this man again. A relationship can not survive without trust.
Good luck to you.........listen to your heart.
2006-10-12 02:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by emotional blonde 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to have to tell you this, but when people cheat sexually, they usually go to extremes, trying to impress the other with thier techniques stamina, imagination, etc They are likely to do things they have never done with wife/husband,gf/bf, and experience all this coupled with a twisted kind of excitement with the risk of exposure, and these thoughts you have will always be there to some extent. You were betrayed, and the most fragile part of your heart was tossed aside by your " hero." Doesn't matter what you do, the hurt will leave a visible scar. Been there.... r
2006-10-12 08:47:55 · answer #2 · answered by Raptor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself some strength and leave him. Those images will never go away. Things will get more and more aggressive until everything fall apart. The best is to move on and find yourself a honest and faithful boyfriend.
2006-10-12 08:37:49 · answer #3 · answered by mert_tan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Shut him out of your life, honey you deserve better!. He doesnt need to make u insecure and there are plenty plenty of men out there who are nice enough(my bf is one of them) good enough to make u feel happy and secure. Another thing.. to make these images stop..
when your thinking about it.. imagine that u have a remote control that can change channels and shut the thoughts off. Like on tv.
2006-10-12 08:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel like you have to settle for this cheating fool, there are other men out there. Kick him to the curb and give yourself a chance to meet others. Never settle for a cheater, look what problems it causes.
2006-10-12 09:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that sounds amazing , I had some thing like that happen to me, and I also did'nt know what to do do ,I know you love him but in order to get that mess out of you head, you have to breakup and move on away from him because he don't know how to be faithful to you, if he did it once and got no punishment, he'll do it again and and break you heart, sorry but it's true, you have to move on from that fack player and get a new trustworthy man.
2006-10-12 08:42:56 · answer #6 · answered by Thick~Chick 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you going through it tears you up inside it hurts so bad wishing that its not there but you knows it is there just the though of him being with someone else.I'm kinda going through the same situation as well but he does'nt really knows i know it hurts to much.You wont be able to forget it but the only way to work through it is to stregnthen you're love for each other.i'll pray for you so that you may be as eas!
2006-10-12 08:48:42 · answer #7 · answered by badgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's tough. are you still thinking he may still be cheating? if not than you need to allow your self to except the fact that you are the one he chose to stay with. don't allow those thoughts to control your life. if you continue to do so - this relationship will NOT last. good luck
2006-10-12 08:41:30 · answer #8 · answered by ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol, sounds like you r starting to go abit crazy too.
you just have to block it out if you wanna stay with him honey, have you forgave him yet?? thruthfully forgave him! even if you have, you will never forget properly.
I wish you all the luck in the world, and i hope so much he dont cheat on you again. (seems like you would kill him!) (lol, im joking) xXx
2006-10-12 08:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Fader's Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the kerb! He is responsible for this, where there is smoke there is fire. She is putting herself out there knowing he is unavailable so she sucks, he gave her the ok so he sucks too.
2006-10-12 08:46:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋