My girlfriend and I got into an argument about her abusing me. I have recently been going to a counselor about her hitting me and other forms of abuse she does to me in our relationship. This time though, she slapped me in the face and I slapped back. I feel terrible about it and know there is a serious problem here. I wanted to know was it right for her to break up with me and say that it was my fault? I got tired of her hitting me and wanted to defend myself. I know it is best to be away from her, but I am trying to solve this problem because I love her so much.
2006-10-12 01:24:52 · 23 answers · asked by hmguesswho1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I just had another talk with her on the phone and decided to move out asap. I don't want to be dragged down any lower, though I love her terribly. Does this hurt.
2006-10-12 01:49:51 · update #1
I would recommend a trial separation if you haven't done that already. Suggest that she go to anger management classes. If it doesn't stop, someone could be seriously injured, or killed. Don't stay in an abusive relationship.
2006-10-12 01:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by Joe 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Hitting isnt acceptable either or! And two wrongs totaly dont make it write. Shes obviously needs anger management and obviously so do you! Get you's both some help and councilling and take it from there! Theres no point in working on it by just taking some time apart your not fixing the problem. Get help instead of slapping the crap outta each other, abuse is wrong either way!
2006-10-12 08:51:49 · answer #2 · answered by princesbubbleyum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear what you are going though :( It sounds like she needs counceling also! If she is unwilling, you cannot make her. You do not deserve to be abused in any way! I understand you love her very much, but you must love yourself enought to know you do not deserve this, no matter what excuse there may be. Often in seriously abusive relationship, it starts like this, an escalates. If its possible, sit down and talk to her about it, she if she is willing to seek help. Don't ever ever think to yourself " It's my fault for making her mad". I understand too about defending yourself, but this can make the problem worse too. Often people who abuse, have been abused in the past. Some people like this want to be hit themselves, it is a past pattern and known, don't fall into this trap. If she is unwilling to change her behavior, please, get out of the relationship! Again i say, you don't deserve this!
2006-10-12 08:38:27 · answer #3 · answered by tonka 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I use to be like your gf. I would beat up on my man all the time. He got tired of it, and one day just layed me out. I haven't hit him since that day unless we are just playing around or something.
She deserved to be slapped back. Don't think that your a bad person or anything. The wasn't abuse, it wasn't a constant thing. You hit her once to her million.
I think the best thing you can do though is move out and move on. She's not going to change unless you start standing up for yourself. But since you stood up for yourself she left you. (If I read that correctly). That shows she just wants a man she can control, tell him what to do. Unless you can get her to go to some sort of counseling.
Good Luck! I know where your coming from.
2006-10-12 09:18:26 · answer #4 · answered by angel2005_2001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my grandfather had a saying: "they were in love like two birds. Every once in a while, one of them flew out of the window".
Do you see the pattern?
Do you want something like that for you and for your eventual children?
Does she show any interest in controlling her anger?
If not, I think you should say good bye while you can. There are so many girl out there, so you shouldn't accept such a treatment.
But if you feel that she is the ONE, get ready for an Italian Marriage.
In my opinion a person can not change no matter what. Even if the person seems changed, deep down the old one is still there.
Good Luck
Ela of Roumania
2006-10-12 08:37:19 · answer #5 · answered by angelika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is the one with the problem and you were pushed to the breaking point. It is not ok to hit (girl or guy) and the relationship sounds like it was pretty toxic. You are probably better off without her and should think about moving on with someone that doesn't use violence to communicate.
2006-10-12 08:34:54 · answer #6 · answered by sweetie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get out, no one deserves to be in a abusive relationship. Man or Woman. Find someone to treat you right. But dont hit back, just leave. It is so uncool to hit a woman. Be a man and just leave tell her to find someone else to abuse you arent taking it anymore. Trust me there is someone out there for ya not her.
2006-10-12 08:30:45 · answer #7 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nobody has the right to hit someone else, you should separate for now at least till you both get things worked out, keep seeing your counselor
2006-10-12 08:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay in therapy!!! You THINK you love her, but she's filling some needs that you need to get rid of. Get out of this relationship and stay out of any relationship until you've addressed the issues you have. No one deserves to be treated like that. It would be great if your girlfriend would also seek counseling (separate) and the two of you could get together on a healthier level someday, but I wouldn't count on it. God bless you. ~Nise~
2006-10-12 08:29:05 · answer #9 · answered by newfsdrool 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put any emphasis on what she says and thinks. You have your reasons for leaving this relationship and that's all that matters. Learn from this, never ever let anyone hit you again. If they do, tell them you'll let it go this time but if they ever do it again, you will hit them back like a man. You're no one's punching bag.
2006-10-12 09:26:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋