Hey,
My ex has a drug problem, we split about over a month ago..I get
that he is not going to stop for me...how do I let go and move
on. He has stuff at my place and vise versa..I want to be adult
about the whole thing without placing blame and being nasty.
He won't return calls so what do I do? I want his stuff out...
otherwise is it wrong to think it become mine and I will sell
it? I don't want any more reminders of him.you know out of sight
out of mind!
2006-10-12 00:41:05 · 10 answers · asked by wicktjw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First, good for you...There is a support group called Nar-Anon for for anyone who is involved with someone on drugs...it will help YOU to heal, and to let go . If you already told him to remove his things and he hasn't, yes, you do have the right to sell them. However be on the safe side and talk to the police for advice.
2006-10-12 01:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you are getting this answer from a person who well, I have put my husband through absolute hell with my addiction. I am trying to recover now. I haven't learned yet much about wether I say I am in recovery or not but I am no longer using. Anyway, Did you straight forward ask him what was more important to him? My husband didn't ask me that, but that is the way I was thinking, like gosh he doesn't deserve all of this, I can't keep doing this to him, I love him so much, he is my life, and more important than any drug in the world. I don't know if you still love your husband but if so you may want to bring those things up to him. If things are completely over and there is no going back, you are going to have to give him some tough love and get the authorities involved. Force the issue with the police if you have to. You have to think of you, he isn't.
2006-10-12 00:58:23 · answer #2 · answered by Chewy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex has a big problem if its with drugs. My husband has a problem too he is in rehab now. Thank the lord for that. He has tried multiple times hope this time will work. As for your question, he probably isnt even worried about his stuff if his problem is that big, call him or a friend of his give them a time to get it out if it isnt by then, trash it sell it, do whatever you want with it. He probably owes you money anyway. Trust me I know how it is. Just dont go back to him until you know he is completly off the drugs. My husband has been fighting this battle for about 5 yrs to quit and it isnt easy. But in the mean time he has put me and my children through hell. So whatever you do get out and dont feel sorry for him. He will try to play on your heart because he knows noone else will have him but he has to stop this addition on his own. Sorry to ramble on but just a bit of advise from someone who has been there and still is.
2006-10-12 00:52:34 · answer #3 · answered by bradosmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what I would do. Since you have stuff at his place. I would contact the authorities. (police or sheriff). Have them meet you at his place to get yourself back. When you go there, have his stuff packed up. If you aren't really considered with your property at his house. Then just forget about it. And if you want to be the ADULT in the situation. Give his stuff back. Pack it up and put it on his door step.
If he loves doing drugs more than being with you. You cant fight for love that is not there.
2006-10-12 00:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Dwayne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you know where he lives? If so then go drop it off at his place on the porch if possible . The less you see of him the better or call him and tell him to come get his stuff. You want nothing more to do with him and be done with it and him .
2006-10-12 00:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me congratulate you on making a difficult decision. It is very difficult to leave someone who obviously needs help. Now you have to complete the steps. Offer to give a set time for him to come retrieve his stuff via phone message or mail.(keep a copy of the letter). If he does not respond. Then donate his belongings to charity in order to help someone else get back on their feet.
2006-10-12 00:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by caplady2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could move the stuff into one of those storage places, then inform him of what you have done, and for how long it will be their before being dumped or sold! This places the emphasis on him to pick it up, or do whatever he wishes.
2006-10-12 00:48:00 · answer #7 · answered by tjb742001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do understand where you are coming from..before i divorced my ex he also was involued with drugs, women and so forth..i packed up his stuff took it to him..and left..i agree with you about not wanting to be nasty and putting blame on anyone..he has the problem and needs to work it out himself..no one can change for another..we all have to change our way of thinking about ourselves before we can help anyone else..don't blame yourself or him..forgiving him is what you need to do, so that you don't harbor any hurtfulness and guilt in your heart or mind..but let him go so that he can learn for himself how to love himself..my ex and i are on speaking turns, he has his life and i have moved on..but we don't blame each other..blessings
2006-10-12 01:05:29 · answer #8 · answered by connie l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just take it quietly to his porch no talk with a neutral party [police help if needed] if your stuff is not returned count your loses and move on its never about stuff any way
2006-10-12 01:02:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack all his stuff up and store it somewhere for about a month..
Then trash it...
2006-10-12 00:44:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋