my husband cheated on me years ago.. not just cheated, he had kids with the other girl.. because of that, i learned to make revenge.. i had several relationships.. only recently that i became too involved with this other guy who's also married.. after several months, i discovered that my husband had another child with his mistress.. and a few months, he discovered about my relationship with this other guy.. at first, he accepted my faults and tried to forgive me.. he said we're even.. only because his sin was much heavier than mine.. we tried to start anew.. but i did not end my relationship with this other guy despite the fact that i can see how hard my husband tries to change.. can you blame me for my infidelity?
2006-10-11 23:32:02 · 13 answers · asked by Margaret 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I understand the spirit behind what you've done and been doing, and would like to offer sincere sorrow for you. You are damaging your spirit further. Whether you realize it or not, you have not forgiven him and are having trouble forgiving yourself for this and maybe other things--things maybe you feel he made you feel were bad that weren't. Think upon it. What did you first start telling yourself after you found out he cheated? Not what you think ever since you started to take revenge, the first things. (Don't have to tell Yahoo! folks, can keep it inside till you deal with it or go to a counselor.) Those are the feelings and thoughts more closely related to your true feelings, the ones that fuel you, the ones you are trying very hard to forget and cover up.
Either you will need to make a serious try with your husband or you would be within your rights to leave, I suppose.
It's not fair to him. It's not fair to YOU. And it isn't fair to the man you are seeing on the side. Yes, it is on the side.
No one is "even" with each other. That is just his way of ignoring what you've done and justifying things for himself. You said "at first," so that leads me to presume he now is having second thoughts at forgiving you and is considering what you've done to be quite aggregious, now that he can see it from the point of view you must have had before you started to cheat on HIM.
Please take better care of yourself.
2006-10-11 23:44:38 · answer #1 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can blame you because you also had several relationships and especially I can blame you with getting and still being involved with a married man - why did you go there? Now his wife will be hurt and she did nothing. I really feel horrible about those poor kids he fathered.
You both deserve each other because you have no respect for yourselves, your spouses and innocent people. Even so I'll tell you to bag this realtionship as it's such a cluster and you are still involved with someone else's husband. The "whose sin is bigger" bit is a bunch of garbage. Get your poop in a group and quit thinking about yourselves only!
2006-10-12 07:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is an out and out skank, if that is the correct spelling. It is one thing to have an affair but to also be responsible for children outside of your marriage is taking it a little too far unless of course you don't want kids or can't then perhaps he has things in his life which he feels must be fulfilled like having kids. I have known situations where a female left her husband because no children developed and she had this urge to bear children. I cannot blame your husband if this is the case but maybe you need to sit down and think this through with him because children being raised without a father around is not helping this situation. What should be considered is the welfare of those children as well, think of others before you think of yourself and to have an affair to just get even is rather immature, if this is the case do you love your husband or do you just want to tie the score? If you think it is bad, then maybe it is.
2006-10-12 06:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. PDQ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW you and him dont need to be married at all ever to anyone. So sad that some couples act this way. And i bet neither one of you are thinking about the kids that you all had and now are involved in some crazy **** for the rest of thier lives. You both are acting selfish and arent even considering the kids feelings in any of this. Get divorced from eachother!!!! Go your seperate ways for the sake of everyone involved
2006-10-12 06:36:31 · answer #4 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still together? Neither one of you are doing each other right. I know you love him ,right? He started it by messing around 1st & now you are doing your dirt & it feels so good to pay him back,Right?I think that all you guys need to be careful cause someone is going to get hurt from all this & bad. You said he had kids by this woman & I pray that no kid has to suffer for the games you guys are playing.My husband cheated on me & my son found out about it & he was11 . He told me if you & Daddy break up I'll kill myself. Grown ups don't realize the impact they have on kids.
2006-10-12 06:50:56 · answer #5 · answered by "karma" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve NOTHING. How can you sleep at night. Oh sorry, you probably don't, as you are to busy shagging OTHER guy.
You are both as bad as each other and should go your seperate ways...........and try and not be a repeat offender for the sake of trust issues.
2006-10-12 06:42:34 · answer #6 · answered by meucando 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but your infidelity is wrong as well. You don't have a marriage anymore. Admit it and both move on.
2006-10-12 06:35:03 · answer #7 · answered by John 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
whats go's a round comes around
2006-10-12 06:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by jlwsweetheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. you are to blame..you shouldnt have done what your husband had done to you..you should have just made him feel guilty about what he has done and eventually he'll stop doing it and try to change..you shouldnt have done that and you are to blame for your infidelity...
2006-10-12 07:13:14 · answer #9 · answered by rie_hope 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, 2 wrongs don't make a right, i suggest lots of counseling or go your own seperate ways, good luck!
2006-10-12 06:34:45 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋