Since my 4 year old daughter started school last month she has become very rude and has more tantrums, why?

Question

My daughter is quite over excitable at the best of times, but school since starting school she has got worse.

Answer 1

I found my daughter got a bit cocky as well at times to start with, like they have this whole new confidence.

With mine I tell her that if she doesnt do it to the teacher she shouldnt do it to me, then there is the odd visit to the naughty step too. But she has calmed down now she has settled in. Hopefully it will for you too

Answer 2

A lot of it will be to do with all the new experiences and demands being put her upon her. 4 is still young and school can be a very daunting place. She may also be coming home pretty tired and not knowing how to deal with it other than lashing out.
I wouldn't necessarily blame other children for your child's behaviour. My sister put her child to school at 4 (Scotland where ther is a choice to defer) and she has blamed a lot of what she now does on other children but really, her daughter just wasn't ready and it was all too much for her. I am not saying that you shouldn't have - that is purely personal experience. And if you are in England then I know the system is very different.

Try making time for just her when she gets back from school so that she feels home is a safe quiet place where she can relax and not feel under pressure to be 'performing' all the time. She will calm down but if she is excitable at the best of times then it's up to you to know best how to channel that energy into something positive and help to put an end to the tamtrums.

Answer 3

There are lots of factors. For one thing this is the age where they try to assert their independence. Plus she's being influenced by other kids at school and may mimic some of their behavior. And make sure she is getting enough sleep each night, tired children will act out more than well-rested ones. Give it time, my daughter was so difficult at 3 and 4, but things go oh so much better once she neared 5! (Not that she doesn't still test us once in awhile now that she's 6!)

Answer 4

I know taking a day off from work may cause u hardship financially but would u rather have the financial hardship or the hardship u r going through now with ur child what's it worth to u. Take that day off and observe her without her knowledge at school to see what could be going wrong with her while u r not present there might be something she can't explain or relate to u or any other adult she isn't comfortable with. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

This may sound holier than thou but it works - put her on totally natural foods for 2 weeks and see if it calms her down.

Watch her reactions after eating certain foods and also ask her to draw some pictures of things that make her angry, this is sometimes a good way to let a child express herself with a limited vocabulary.

Ask the teachers if they have noticed anything, or ask them to keep an eye on her to see what sparks her off.

Another tip, she may have some separation anxiety, give her something of yours to look after when you leave her at the school, like a glove, and tell her to look after it for mummy and to give it back to mummy at the end of the school day.

That way, she is certain of your return. Some children imagine all kinds of silly things, such as mummy not returning, which would never happen but children are not always logical at this age.

Good luck

Answer 6

unfortunatlly, your daughter can be experience a number of things. as a daycare provider children tend to pick up other habits from children and place those "bad" behaviors in everyday life. the best way to end it would be to sit down and talk to her and ask her who did she get this or that from and explaine to her that she can't do that and so on and so on. I had a eight year old that loved to say the words kil, die and ****. So since i had no help from his parents everytime he said it or anytime a little child repeated it, i made him wash all the dishes in the kitchen, no matter if they were clean or dirty. but each parent handles it different.

Answer 7

hi .i am somewhat relieved to learn abt ur qns bcos my little nephew in chicago who is 3 and 3 months old also is going to play school.and his parents report that he has more tantrums and not literally listening to their words.this is bcos these toddlers have got their own pals who respect their words(jus remember how we behave when we are with our peers and how with our parents around) jus like that these kids dint know to differentiate the two places school and home.so they are trying to continue at home the same tantrums which they had joyfully at school.maybe they need some time to differentiate these two places.but anyhow we need to teach them.a couple of time outs will help.but unbelievable these time- outs sometimes dont workout too.but make sure u are not satisfied with her behaviour by showing a not- so -happy face.probably she may understand it..i think these kids are pretty growing up.anyway.happy parenting and enjoy ur child' play.after all she is ur blood.

Answer 8

Probably because she resents the fact that she does not get to spend as much time with you as she did previously and also because when they start school, they then pick up thing's from other kids such as if other kids gain attention for doing something they will think ooh well i can get attention also for doing the same, just give her some time to adjust to the situation and i'm sure she will be fine.

Answer 9

Well i guess toddlers copy what they see. In school they see many different behaviours of their peers so they imitate. If this is the case we need to exercise firm disciple and let them know that certain behaviours are not acceptable.

It may also due to stress in school. I would like to suggest that you try to have small talks with your daughter to find out more about what happens in school... Some kids may not know how to express their anxiety and stress so parents do need to be more alert of excessive aggressive behaviours.

Answer 10

Is she being bullied. I know that when my 6yr old is going through a shitty time, she behaves really bad, and out of character.
It may also be the people she is around. Kids copy things around them, without even noticing it. Since my sister in law had a baby, my 2 yr old acts like a baby to get more attention from her nanny.